


A Love Guide For Owls

by Whimmy



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 'unrequited love', Akaashi Keiji is Bad at Feelings, Awkward Flirting, Bad Flirting, Bokuto Koutarou is a Mess, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining Akaashi, Pretty Setter Squad, Slow Burn, art for each chapter n the bottom summary!, bokuto is too good for us, fluff with very minor angst, hand holding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:22:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 66,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26530594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whimmy/pseuds/Whimmy
Summary: “Kaash. Bro.” Akaashi tugged at the ends of his sleeves as he avoided the setter’s incredulous stares. Suga leaned forward and pressed his hands together. “Did you… mean to call him the sun just now?”“Yeah,” Oikawa cackled, “I’m pretty sure you are deep in crush territory.”Akaashi didn’t join Oikawa’s Pretty Setter Squad for any particular reason, but he knew it wasn’t for their advice on love. Upon realizing he’s been pining for his best friend, Bokuto Koutaro, Akaashi decides it’s time to take the reins and learn how to express his feelings toward the spiker. However, some of the group’s rules stand in the way of making it an easy task.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 40
Kudos: 248





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Quick note: This is NOT a chat fic, but the first chapter contains some texting. I swear the rest of the chapters (written) don't have this much!

_New message received from: P S Squad._

Akaashi stared down at his phone with a frown. His fingers glided over the passcode screen as he waited for his phone to open up to the group chat. It had been nearly two weeks since the last conversation, and for the latest message to come at 1AM, where any reasonable student would be sleeping, was annoying. If it were any other group chat he was certain a text so late at night would be dire, but he was well aware of the possibilities of anything serious being said was dangerously low. However, Akaashi had time to indulge in their antics. Technically he had to because if they saw he read, then ignored the messages, he’d be in trouble. 

It was weird to say he was obligated to reply, but he really didn’t have much of a choice. Since the group chat was formed certain members needed to hear responses or they’d show up days later at his front door. That was an exaggeration. They’d just spam him with calls and texts if they hadn’t heard from him in a while so they could make sure he was “still alive”. 

[1:03] Oikawa: A little birdie told me some interesting news.

[1:04] Akaashi: It’s late.

[1:06] Sugawara: Why are you two still up? Don’t you have practice in the morning?

Akaashi decided not to answer, as it seemed a bit obvious. Instead, he kept his phone open and reached for a book on his nightstand, hoping he could find a boring section to fall asleep to. 

[1:09] Oikawa: I could ask you the same question, Refreshing-kun ;o

[1:11] Oikawa: No, but a little birdie told me that our little Kenma might have gotten asked out by a certain Nekoma senior

[1:11] Kenma: You heard wrong.

[1:12] Oikawa: Damn it.

[1:12] Oikawa: I was hoping we could pressure a certain someone into possibly NOT being the only one in the ‘pretty setter squad ™’ without a partner.

[1:13] Oikawa: Though, to be fair, you and kuroo are already pretty much dating.

[1:13] Sugawara: It’s not a requirement to have a partner to be in the squad

[1:14] Oikawa: It should be! I want to be able to all hang out and talk about our partners and gossip a little~

Akaashi snorted at the image. Oikawa was likely thinking of their sleepovers suddenly turning into a movie scene, like when girls would come together and do pillow fights and such. The first sleepover they had, Oikawa actually tried to initiate a pillow fight by slapping Kenma with a fluffy blue moon pillow. Suga had to hold Kenma back, too afraid of the power such a tiny body could contain when accompanied by such a glare. 

[1:15] Kenma: And we could paint each other's nails too.

[1:16] Akaashi: And braid each other’s hair.

[1:17] Oikawa: C’monnnnn (T^T) There has to be someone you like, Aka. Anyone catch your eye? We can help you get asked out.

Akaashi rolled his eyes. Oikawa established long ago when he made the group, the ‘Pretty Setter Squad’, that they were added for very obvious reasons, and also for the fact that they all seemed to get along relatively well. Akaashi was thankful to have some sane friends in his life that didn’t drain his energy but it came with drawbacks, such as his love life always being a subject of discussion.

There was always something like ‘You have to be asked! You are the one they’d be lucky to get!’ or ‘If you smiled a bit more, maybe you’ll find a cute girl to confess to you’. He brushed them off since he was too focused on volleyball and his studies to care about finding ‘the one’ within his few years of highschool. 

Especially since the ‘Pretty Setter Squad’ had an extensive list of stupid rules to follow. 

Some were understandable, such as you have to be a setter. Everything said in the chat or at meetups was also sacred; what is said in the chat stays in the chat. Those were rules he followed without care, but the rules about love irked him. The strangest rule of all was if you were in the squad, you weren’t allowed to ask anyone out and you weren’t allowed to go on dates unless someone had offered to take you out, which was as interesting as it was odd. Akaashi didn’t argue when it was created though, believing it would never apply to him anyways. Besides, everyone else seemed to be following it without complaint. He recalled at the beginning of the year when Suga heard of the rule. 

Instead of arguing with Oikawa about it, he simply went about things in his own way, managing to snag Daichi after less than a month. Akaashi tried to ask what exactly went down, but he’d only receive a winky face emoji in return and that put him off from bothering to ask again. 

As ridiculous as some of the rules were, it made sense when paired with Oikawa. He always had some plan behind the scenes to mess with people, and he was included sometimes as the butt of said pranks. Unwilling to involve himself further, he ignored the incoming messages and wrote out one last text. 

[1:19] Akaashi: I’m going to bed.

He set his phone on his nightstand and watched as it began to vibrate and light up by multiple incoming messages from the chat. He turned his back to the phone.

  
  


It didn’t take long to fall asleep, but by the time his screeching alarm clock woke him up he felt the same level of exhaustion he had earlier. He ignored the messages on his phone except for one that wasn’t from the main chat. 

Bokuto messaged him. 

He sat up quickly in bed, leaning forward with a little smile. Scrolling past the notifications, he selected Bokuto’s name, admiring the contact photo of him smiling with food stains on his face as the messages loaded. It was of him at their last training camp, where Bokuto stole his phone while he was asleep and took over five hundred selfies, a lot of which Akaashi kept. For the comedy factor, of course. 

[6:34] Bokuto: heading over early want to meet at the gym

[6:34] Bokuto: Akaasi

[6:34] Bokuto: Akaashui

[6:34] Bokuto: Akaksui

[6:34] Bokuto: akakai

[6:35] Bokuto: :(

Akaashi huffed in amusement at the chain of misspellings. Even over text, it was nearly impossible for Bokuto to spell his name correctly. 

[6:41] Akaashi: Leaving in five.

[6:42] Bokuto: >8D 

Stifling a laugh, Akaashi rushed to get dressed in his athletics clothes and threw his books and school uniform into his backpack. He spared one last glance around his room before darting out. 

His father was sitting in the living room when he dashed down the stairs. He sent him a nod before jamming his feet into his worn down running shoes. He shouted a goodbye he hoped his mother heard before rushing out of the house… only to turn back and run back inside once he realised he forgot his key on the rack. He tucked it into his pocket before beginning his jog to school.

It didn’t take him long to arrive at the gym, the cold autumn air leaving his arms covered in goosebumps. Luckily, the chills were forgotten upon seeing Bokuto running around with a ball in the gym alone. He smiled as he caught the sound of his upperclassmen muttering under his breath, eyebrows knitted together in total concentration as he pondered over whatever was on his mind. If Akaashi had to guess, it was volleyball related. 

He set his bag down near the wall. “Good morning, Bokuto-san.”

“Agaashi!” Bokuto exclaimed. He threw the ball at Akaashi without a moment’s hesitation, and Akaashi moved to hit it back underhanded. It bounced off his forearms, then floated over to Bokuto’s awaiting hands. “I thought you got lost or something!”

“No,” Akaashi hummed, slowly moving more toward the net in between their back and forth tosses, “do you want to practice spikes?”

There was no other set of words that seemed to make Bokuto light up more than those ones. Akaashi watched as his eager upperclassmen got in line before tossing the ball up. Akaashi raised his arms, taking a breath as he took a small step back to hit the ball with his fingertips, tossing it directly in Bokuto’s line of attack. As per usual, Bokuto hit it perfectly and with enough force to emit a loud smack when the ball connected with the ground. It rattled around in Akaashi’s eardrums as the ball slapped the wall with identical power. The sound was deafened when Bokuto threw his fist in the air and yelled something incomprehensible.

“That one was perfect, Akaashi! The timing, the form-” Bokuto began to ramble as he sprinted over to the volleyball bin and snatched up another one off the top of the pile.

“Thank you.” 

“And I didn’t do too bad with that hit, right? That would have broken through any wall of blockers!” Bokuto threw the ball up and Akaashi quickly got into position. 

“I’m sure.” Akaashi mumbled before throwing the ball back. Bokuto rushed forward raising his arm and prepared to smack it down once more but flinched as he heard a sudden slam to his right. He watched as the ball flew right past him, farther from his hand than he expected. He landed and whipped his head around to see Akaashi standing there. Dusting off his hands on his jersey, Akaashi gave him a shrug and the poorly concealed beginnings of a grin. “However, if you get distracted by a single clap, I don’t know how well you’ll do in a real stadium, ace.”

Bokuto’s cheeks flushed a dusty pink, his eyes wide before he turned to the ball that had rolled over to knock against his feet. 

“That wasn’t fair,” Bokuto whined, but didn’t voice any more complaints as he scooped the ball up once more, “but I’ll get it this time! Toss me one more!”

It amused Akaashi how the phrase ‘one more’ never meant just one more. To Bokuto, it meant endlessness. Akaashi couldn’t help but admire his drive. “Of course.”

The rest of the team joined them eventually, and Akaashi found himself falling behind the group during warm up laps. His limbs felt heavier than the bags forming under his eyes, and they refused to move as much as he wanted them to. 

Bokuto eventually passed him during a gym lap, likely his third time passing Akaashi. “Man, I’m so hungry. I could, like, eat two bentos! Are you that hungry too, Kaash?”

Akaashi let out a huff of exertion. “I suppose? I forgot to eat breakfast… So probably.”

He watched as Bokuto’s run turned into a skip for half a second before Bokuto was racing ahead again, grinning widely. “Perfect!”

Knowing he had no chance of deciphering Bokuto when his brain was still clinging to the idea of sleep, Akaashi picked up his pace to follow closely behind the spiker. 

Bokuto gave them all a little pep talk once everyone was panting from exhaustion, then they were dismissed to the locker room. Upon reaching his bag, Akaashi realised another thing preventing him from being on the top of his game. After fishing out his uniform, he tried to sneak a hand into his bento to steal a quick bite of a vegetable or fruit, but was met with only his textbooks. 

“Hmm?” Bokuto hummed as he leaned over Akaashi’s shoulder as he tried to button up his school shirt. “What’s up, Kaash?”

“I forgot my lunch today,” Akaashi mumbled, recalling how he ran past the kitchen like a maniac to meet up with Bokuto. He could feel his empty stomach churning. Reluctantly, he began to dig around his bag looking for loose change to use on the vending machine near the gym. 

“Really?” Bokuto’s eyes glinted. He snagged his bag, rummaging through it. Akaashi watched as loose, balled up assignments and wadded up food wrappers fell out of the main pocket, but Bokuto didn’t seem to notice. Akaashi’s distress peaked upon seeing a paper tumble out with a giant, red ‘19/100’ on top beside his horribly scribbled name. 

Finally, Bokuto let out a boisterous laugh and pulled out a grey bento. Akaashi watched as his captain held it out to him, then raised his eyebrow. It wasn’t the one he usually brought with him, which was an electric blue with a cartoon owl sitting in a tree. He had it since elementary school, apparently, but never had the heart to throw it away to get a more mature looking box. “I actually accidentally packed two! G-Guess I was in the groove of things this morning and messed up, ha! But it works out, right?”

Akaashi eyebrows raised. Bokuto did mention something about wanting to eat multiple bentos earlier. He just didn’t expect Bokuto to have actually packed more than one.

“Are you sure?” Akaashi asked. His fingers brushed Bokuto’s as he reached for the container. Bokuto’s hands jerked minutely, but steadied as he pushed the bento into Akaashi’s hands. Akaashi raised an eyebrow, then pulled the box closer. He had seen some of the lunches Bokuto packed. Half the time it was energy bars and snacks from the vending machine nearby, but the other half of the time it was leftover meat from the night before with nothing else. He knew it’d be polite to thank his upperclassmen, but also wasn’t certain if it was entirely deserved, especially since Bokuto would almost certainly never let him forget how kind he was to give Akaashi the bento. Still, the thought of being given a bento by Bokuto was oddly pleasing. He felt a warmth fill his chest of admiration and softness.

Bokuto nodded, zipping up his bag. “I don’t think I could eat two anyways! Take it as thank you for coming in early.”

“Aww, Bokuto is secretly domestic? Like a housewife or something?” Konoha snickered from across the locker room. Bokuto’s face paled, then turned bright red as he glared over to his friend. Akaashi watched as Bokuto wadded through the mess of bags and shoes on the floor to head straight to Konoha, who backed away with a grin. Akaashi shook his head as Bokuto put Konoha in a headlock and ruffled his hair, the locker room filled with familiar loud voices and quips. He slipped the bento into his bag with steady hands. Once it sat perfectly between his notebooks and book, he zipped up the bag and turned toward Bokuto. 

“Thank you, Bokuto-san.”

His captain turned to him, still trapping Konoha. Bokuto sent him a lopsided grin accompanied by red stained cheeks. “Any time, Kakashi!”

Akaashi felt a twitch on his lips, but it faded when he heard a bell ring. Everyone froze, then turned their heads toward the clock above the lockers. It was the most synced up move they ever performed, but Akaashi didn’t relish in it for long. He turned toward Bokuto, eyes darkening as he snagged his seniors tie off the bench.

“Bokuto-san, didn’t you mention the threat of getting detention if you are late to another class?”

Bokuto seemed on the same page, rushing to throw on his collared shirt. Their teammates made room for him as he flailed around, throwing his jacket on. Akaashi swooped in quick to wrap his tie around his neck, then swiftly tie it with moves that felt like second nature at this point. He brought the tie up closer to the collar, but the moment he saw Bokuto’s expression change to discomfort, he lowered the knot to give him more room. 

He huffed under his breath as his hands moved, smoothing the creases on Bokuto’s shoulders and using his fingers to assist a strand of fallen hair back up into Bokuto’s spikes. He has been compared to a mother bird with how he helps Bokuto clean up, and some days he actually feels that it’s his spirit animal. 

Once Bokuto looked relatively put together, he pulled away to give him a quick once over. Bokuto noticed his gaze and threw him a big smile, awaiting approval. Akaashi simply nodded his head, glancing to the side to avoid his bright, intense gaze, “You look nice, Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto’s face turned red as he bounced twice on his heels.

“W-We got to go!” Bokuto announced upon scooping up his bag like a baby. His other hand reached out and snagged Akaashi’s wrist, tugging him along like he was a school supply. His heart lurched along with his arm at the rough treatment, but allowed himself to be dragged. Akaashi dully commented that he wasn’t under the threat of detention, but it seemed to not reach Bokuto’s ears as they raced to the main building. 

* * *

Class went by as usual. Akaashi took notes, assisted peers when needed, and stared at the white board whilst daydreaming about things not pertaining to the lesson. He drummed his pen on the desk, but stopped immediately when he heard the sound echoing off the walls. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a classmate pulling out their bento. Lunch was soon. 

When they were dismissed, Akaashi took the bento Bokuto had given him and raced to the gym. There were days he preferred to eat alone in class, but other times he’d sit outside or in the hallway. He liked to sit in the gym occasionally to watch other people performing their sport, but none grasped his attention quite like when he first saw Bokuto play, and every other time he saw him playing after that. A group of students were tossing around a ball when he entered, but none paid him any heed as he took a seat on the bleachers. A few other students sat by the sides of the gym, napkins laid out all over the floor to keep crumbs off. 

He spent a second to admire the bento in his lap before breathing out all the tension class brought him. Rubbing his hands together once, Akaashi bowed and whispered a ‘thanks’ beneath his breath. He popped open the lid, expecting to be greeted with the sight of food, but instead found a small note written on baby blue paper. 

“Kaashi, I hope hoot-rific day!” There was also a sloppy drawing of an owl. He didn’t recall Bokuto slipping the note into it while he was handing it over, but he was too busy trying to decipher the note to care. Hoot-rific? Like horrific? He took out his phone and snapped a picture.

[12:31] Akaashi: Horrific?

[12:43] Bokuto: I meant ‘terrific’! I couldn’t think of a better pun ;-;

[12:45] Akaashi: That’s owlful. 

[12:46] Bokuto: Awful?

[12:47] Akaashi: :)

[12:48] Bokuto: Wait so it is awful? right?

[12:49] Bokuto: Akaashi please.

[12:54] Bokuto: Please do you mean awful

Akaashi set his phone down to begin eating what was given to him earlier. The bento was different from what Bokuto usually brought, which was a relief. It had onigiri, small chunks of meat, and a section for fruit cut into little cubes. He didn’t realize Bokuto knew fruit existed, but was grateful and ate it all. While he was surprised to see a decent meal packed, he was more proud knowing that Bokuto’s lunch likely looked the same. It implied Bokuto was actually beginning to care about his own diet and was getting all the nutrients he needed, something Akaashi has been pushing since they first became friends. 

He ate quietly, mind shifting through memories of the past week to try and find where Bokuto could have gotten the idea to change up his routine, but found no foundation to build off of. 

There was a week ago during practice when Akaashi let Bokuto snack on some of his apple slices, but Bokuto complained immediately about the sour flavor and didn’t take more. A while ago, Akaashi also tried to bribe third years into holding Bokuto down so he could force vegetables down his throat, but Bokuto caught word of their plot and avoided coming close to anyone for two whole days. Konoha almost managed to grab his wrist, but Bokuto could sense his intentions and took off running before anyone could process what was happening. 

Akaashi frowned at the memories. None were the brightest of ideas, and he was certain none of them led to Bokuto’s change of heart about his picky habits. 

By the time he finished eating, his phone was going off with more texts from Bokuto. 

[1:12] Bokuto: No but really did that mean awful

Akaashi shook his head at the message, but couldn’t help the small, warm smile that followed after reading the message.

[1:14] Akaashi: Yes.

[1:14] Bokuto: D: 

* * *

Akaashi returned the bento after practice. He arrived later than everyone else, got changed at a pace comparable to a slug. No one commented upon seeing his slouched shoulders and the little rocking moments he made as he stood, as if his body were trying to lull him to sleep midday. He debated taking a nap when the others were beginning a practice match without him, but he forced himself to stay awake. When the time came, he admittedly took the easier clean up jobs, such as collecting the balls to put in the bin as others mopped the floor with cleaner. Once he pushed the ball cart out, he helped push the benches towards the wall with a teammate. 

Bokuto picked up his slack for the most part. He bounced around between chores like a pinball, stopping for a split second every so often to throw Akaashi a smile or wave. Due to his boundless energy, everything was packed up in no time, and Akaashi could tell there was going to be no after practice practice going on since Bokuto headed to the club room with everyone else. He tried to hide his sigh of relief, eager to be home nestled between his blankets and pillow. 

They all changed at their own pace, most moving faster than Akaashi. He could hear them talking about due dates and homework, but couldn’t focus enough to string together the conversations floating around him. He only managed to pull himself back into the realm of the living when he spotted the bento box sticking out from his bag. 

The door of the clubroom kept opening and shutting as members left for the day, but Bokuto stuck around, fiddling with his school tie. He didn’t usually wear it after school, but Akaashi didn’t bother to ask why he was spending time on it. He was just glad Bokuto was starting to learn how to fasten and loosen a tie without Akaashi’s or his mother's help. 

He tugged the box out of his school bag once he was finished dressing. Bowing his head slightly, he held out the empty bento. “Thank you for the meal, Bokuto-san. 

Bokuto’s chest puffed out like a strutting peacock and his grin was like a king overindulging in prized delicacies. “I can make another for you tomorrow, if you want. Or any time! Just send me a text if you ever forget.” 

“Thank you, Bokuto-san.” Akaashi moved his hand to hide the smile creeping up his face, though he doubted another opportunity would arise as he never did something so forgetful twice. Still, it was worth seeing the excited expression on his captain’s face upon getting thanked agan. 

Bokuto pulled his hands away from his messy tie wordlessly, eyebrows arching as he stared at Akaashi. With a huff of amusement, Akaashi reached forward and straightened the tie, loosening it just a bit for comfort. He glanced up briefly to see Bokuto’s wide golden eyes and pink nose. He felt his own cheeks warm at the sight of his friend, a smile creeping up his lips in return. “All better?”

Bokuto grinned. “Perfect.”

Akaashi ignored the mocking comments of his remaining teammates, always ready to poke fun at Bokuto for not knowing how to tie correctly. Bokuto learned to block them out too after he attempted to do it on his own and Akaashi had to use scissors to cut it off, the knot too far gone to be salvaged. 

Soon the club room was back into the swing of usual conversations. Akaashi finished buttoning his blazer and then threw his bag over his shoulder before leaving the room, eager to avoid being involved in a pointless debate of if beef or chicken tasted better. It’d be the third time that week where he’d have to reluctantly side with Bokuto and his ever changing opinion.

Energy flowed into his bones from a siren’s call beckoning him away from his school work and thoughts of practice. It grew louder as the school gates came into his sights. This siren, however, wasn’t a person. It was his bed, and it was about to have his full attention for the next ten hours if he had anything to say about it. 

He reached the gates eventually, and was just about to turn right, as usual, but found his coat sleeve jerked back. Suppressing a gasp of surprise, he felt his sleeve tighten, then his wrist being encased by a hand. He turned to find Bokuto there, face red from running over. Akaashi stared, waiting for him to catch his breath. His grip remanded tight, though his expression was one of someone who just touched live wires. Akaashi almost smiled at the fact that his spiked hair kinda resembled an electrocuted cartoon character. Bokuto slowly released his sleeve, hand falling to his side. “Agash.”

“Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto let out a laugh suddenly, louder and more boisterous than usual. It wasn’t completely odd for him to do, but usually it required a bit more than saying his name to get him laughing up a storm. Akaashi watched, hiding his amusement as Bokuto scratched his neck, laughter dying down. 

“I-I, you look tired!” Bokuto exclaimed, “D-did you possibly want help walking home? I mean, you really don’t look great!”

Akaashi raised an eyebrow.

Bokuto stared at him for a moment, then raised his hand, slamming it down on the side of his own face and subsequently leaving a bright red handprint on his cheek. Akaashi stepped forward in an instant, hand raising to brush his hand over the possibly forming bruise, but it froze in midair. A knot formed in his throat, one as uneven as Bokuto’s poor excuses of ties.

His eyes flickered to his still hand, staring quizzically at the stiff and awkward limb. Bokuto didn’t seem to notice as he scowled at himself in an attempt to scare away the redness creeping up his throat. “I mean, you always look great! Like, you just look tired. So I can walk you home so you’ll be less tired!”

“How would I be less tired if I’m still walking home?” Akaashi asked, raising his eyebrow. He let his hand fall back into place with his other, playing with his fingers as he glanced toward the street. Sometimes Bokuto’s logic was something to behold. The corner’s of his lips twitched upward. 

Bokuto’s shoulders sagged, mouth flapping open and closed until he mumbled, “That’s… a good point.” 

“I think you might need more sleep than I do,” Akaashi mumbled, “besides, I live in the opposite direction.” 

A weak chuckle left Bokuto’s throat, bottom lip jutting out. Bokuto slowly rolled his shoulders, straightening his back as he kicked some dirt up with his shoe. “Another good point. Looks like you have me beat.” 

Akaashi nodded, turning back to the gates. He let out the smile he was holding as he headed out. Bokuto called out for him to have a goodnight, receiving a wave in return as Akaashi rounded the corner and walked out of sight. 

* * *

[6:49] Oikawa: Practice went longer than expected D: 

[6:51] Sugawara: We got let out a bit later, Daichi and I are going to get some snacks and watch a movie ^^

[7:20] Akaashi: Got out a bit ago. 

[8:29] Oikawa: There you are! I was just thinking about you~ 

[8:33] Akaashi: No. 

[8:38] Oikawa: Have you been thinking about anyone, Mr. Lone Wolf?

Akaashi ignored his phone, or at least he tried to. He had a pile of homework he had to complete, but every five or so messages that came in, he’d check the chat with a sigh of exasperation. 

[8:45] Oikawa: Refreshing, what do you think his type is? Has he ever told us about a crush?

[8:47] Sugawara: Not sure :/ I feel like he’d like someone who's studious and quiet. Someone smart.

[8:50] Kenma: I’d hate to weigh my opinion on this, but I don’t think that’s right. You just described Akaashi. 

[8:54] Sugawara: … I did, didn’t I? :P

Akaashi blushed and rolled his eyes. Once he finished his science work, he’d have to begin thinking of ways to get Oikawa out of his business. He glanced over to his desk to see if he had any open notebooks to use, but only spotted his pale yellow one he used for Bokuto. It was filled with his weaknesses and strengths, his likes and dislikes, and more. It was mostly for game strategies, but since Bokuto always seemed to surprise him, he couldn’t waste any pages on his plan to stop Oikawa. He’d have to run downstairs later and get printer paper. 

[9:12] Suga: There was one time at training camp where some guy came up to him, but I don’t think Akaashi noticed he was flirting :///

[9:23] Oikawa: What did the guy say?

[9:34] Suga: ‘Can I take a photo with you? I want to prove angels exist.’

Akaashi read over the message. He recalled the guy, and knew he was flirting, despite what Suga seemed to be convincing himself. Akaashi remembered staring at the spiker who approached him, staring at him so long that he thought he could see beads of sweat forming on his forehead. Then, without another thought, Akaashi turned around and called to a teammate to discuss strategy. Bokuto entered the conversation soon after, arm wrapping around Akaashi’s shoulders as his free hand gestured wildly in the air, doing nothing to aid his explanations. Still, Akaashi tried to keep up with the captain's ideas, leaning his neck against his arm lazily until the student bothering him left. 

[9:38] Akaashi: I don’t have any crushes or a type. 

[9:42] Suga: Ace?

[9:43] Kenma: Or demi

[9:45] Oikawa: ? Demi lovato?

[9:46] Suga: Say sike right now

Akaashi, pleased the chat had moved on from his life, set his phone away for the night. He could catch up with their antics when his eyes stopped trying to glue themselves shut. 

Morning rolled around eventually, but this time was different. Akaashi got a full night’s rest and made sure to his bento before heading out to meet Bokuto at the gym. 

He took his time getting to practice, deciding he didn’t need to rush if Bokuto hadn’t messaged him yet. It was a little odd to not wake up with texts from him, but his notifications were already filled to the brim with dumb messages from the setters. He had prayed he wouldn’t wake up to anything too obnoxious, and was surprised and relieved to see it was just the usual burns and unnecessary comments the chat always possessed. 

He turned the corner and entered the gates to the school yard. The gym was in his sights, but he paused mid step as he heard scraping above him. He craned his head upward, right into the tree branches hanging over his head. One jostled and a leaf twirled down, caressing his cheek before drifting to the ground. 

“... Kash?” 

“... Bokuto-san?” Akaashi narrowed his eyes, examining the leaves until he found Bokuto sitting on a branch, jacket in his hands. His backpack was on the ground, leaning against the tree. “Are you pretending to be an owl again?”

Bokuto laughed. “Not this time, I learned my lesson.”

“Obviously not.” Akaashi set his bag on the ground before wandering closer to the trunk. “Why did we decide you shouldn’t do that again?”

“Because I got stuck in the tree.”

“And what are you right now?”

“... Stuck in the tree.” Bokuto bit his lip as his jacket moved. He clung to it tighter and made shushing noises at it until the rustling stopped. Akaashi moved Bokuto’s bag aside carefully, reaching a hand up to see how close he could get to his captain. He was two feet short of hitting Bokuto’s shoe, and he could only wonder how Bokuto managed to get up the tree a second time. 

“Can you climb down any farther?” 

“Not with this,” Bokuto replied as he gestured to the jacket. It moved once more.

“... I can’t help you if you don’t get a bit further down.”

“I can’t let this go.” It was going to be another hour before anyone else they knew showed up that could help unless they called the fire department. Again. Shaking his head, Akaashi cupped his hands around his face. 

“Tie the ends and zip it up. I’ll catch it.”

“How do I know you won’t set it by accident?” Bokuto cried in response. The look Akaashi gave him made Bokuto turn white before he did as Akaashi said, all the while calling out in a slightly panicked voice a few ‘be careful!’s and ‘do NOT set her, I swear to god-’s. It took three minutes for Bokuto to tie it, whatever it was, up and start his feeble attempt to climb further down. In the end, he merely leaned down as far as he could go before dropping the jacket into Akaashi’s hands. It was only a two foot drop at most, and Akaashi was expecting it, but the jacket squirming right after still freaked him out. He quickly set the jacket down near the captain’s bag, then started helping the other man down as best as he could. 

He’d be embarrassed to say it took five minutes of gentle coaxing and reassurance to convince Bokuto to jump down to him, but he’d be even more flustered to admit it actually took ten minutes, so he’d stick with saying five if his teammates found out. He picked up Bokuto’s bag along with his own as the upperclassmen untied his jacket and unzipped the material. Like a lightning bolt, a small animal darted out back toward the tree. 

“A cat?” He whispered as Bokuto examined his jacket.

“I saw it up there and thought it needed some help. Pretty heroic, right? Brave?”

Akaashi shook his head, batting a leaf out of his hair as his eyes caught a small speck of red. He leaned closer. On Bokuto’s upper cheek were two thin lines. The cat must have knicked him when he was trying to throw it in his jacket. He sighed and dug into his pocket for his handkerchief as Bokuto did a dramatic retelling of how he came across the helpless creature. He paused halfway into the first sentence when Akaashi stepped forward and placed the light blue cloth to his face. 

Bokuto blinked owlishly as Akaashi dabbed the small specks of blood away, but stayed put with his lips tightly sealed. When Akaashi pulled the cloth away to inspect the spot, he scowled. It only served to smear some of his cheek. Furrowing his eyebrows, Akaashi’s other hand shot up to hold Bokuto’s chin in a tight grip.

“K-Kaashi?” Bokuto stammered, a shiver running up his arms before Akaashi snapped his chin to the side to have a better view of wiping the blood now staining his cheeks. 

“Hold still for a moment,” Akaashi mumbled, rubbing his cheek until the red had transferred onto his handkerchief. When he pulled away, the area looked red for a different reason. He might have rubbed too hard. Akaashi put his handkerchief back into his pocket with a frown, then followed his other hand with his gaze, trailing along Bokuto’s form to where it still held his chin. He slowly looked up to meet Bokuto’s eyes. 

He jerked away, almost tripping over Bokuto’s school bag in the process. Bokuto reached out to keep him steady, but faltered when the setter caught himself. 

Akaashi gulped down a staggered breath before snatching the bag off the ground, heart racing. He didn’t know how a near fall made him feel so light headed and warm. It was probably from the sight of blood earlier, even if it was a small amount. 

He handed Bokuto his bag, then turned to finally head towards the gym. In moments, Bokuto was back at his side, gesturing broadly as he began to talk about something he saw on his walk there. Akaashi ended up sparing one last look at the creature and watched as it sunk its claws into the tree and began to climb back up. His cheeks paled, but he kept his lips sealed shut as the cat disappeared amongst the leaves.

* * *

[8:32] Kenma: He invited me to the arcade this weekend.

Akaashi groaned as he looked at his phone. He set it on his bed amongst the books and bookmarks scattered around him, mentally preparing himself for the texts being sent his way as the soon-to-be only pretty setter without a pretty partner. He was hoping Kenma would want to focus on school or games, but apparently it seemed he was also interested in having a love life. Akaashi was officially the odd man out. 

[8:35] Sugawara: Congrats!

[8:36] Kageyama: Who?

[8:36] _Kageyama was removed from the chat_

[8:37] Oikawa: Who tf keeps inviting him???? Stop it???

Akaashi laughed, then set a reminder on his phone to add Kageyama back when Oikawa wasn’t looking. If he had to deal with everything Oikawa did in the chat, having Kageyama randomly send a text every so often to upset Oikawa made it all a bit worth it. 

He leaned back with a smile, but it faded moments later. With Kageyama gone, he was, yet again, the only single setter left in the groupchat. He cursed Kenma under his breath despite his genuine joy for his good news, then put the chat on mute. He pushed his phone aside and picked up an assignment sheet, hoping to distract himself from what was going on in the chat. If he focused hard on his work, perhaps he wouldn’t have to think about such pointless things. He tightened his grip on his pen, pressing the tip hard on the paper. 

* * *

The next morning played out like most mornings should. He didn’t find Bokuto in a tree, nor did he forget anything. By the time he arrived at the gym, Bokuto was just getting started practicing his sprawls. “Kaashi!”

“Good morning.” He closed the door behind him to keep out the cold air. Bokuto grabbed his water bottle from the bench as he made his way over to greet him. Though Akaashi was attempting to put his stuff neatly on the side lines, he noticed something strange in the way his senpai was approaching him, and the fact his large smile was crooked. Akaashi was reminded of a child about to admit to breaking something. He didn’t want to find duct tape in the mess of the gym storage closet again.

“So, you’re good at math, right?” Bokuto asked with a little chuckle. Akaashi’s eyes narrowed at the nervous habit. “I, uh. Well, I have a math test coming up and I don’t understand, like, half of the material… Study sleepover?”

“When is the test?”

“... Monday.”

Akaashi frowned, but nodded. “I’ll ask my mom, but it should be fine. I’d prefer a few days notice next time.”

He pulled out his phone to check his calendar, knowing full well his Sunday was already taken up by prior obligations. When his eyes scanned over Saturday, he noticed a note on the side and scowled. It was the last Saturday of the month. 

“And if you want, I can treat you for helping me out!” Bokuto began, twirling the ball in his hands. “There’s a really good ramen place that is a bit of a walk from here, but I think you’d like it. Then we could stop by the store on our way to yours or mine and get some snacks. It doesn’t have to be like…. Just studying, yeah? We can d-do something fun, like… Well, you can pick if you want! Or I could!”

Akaashi put his phone down and let out a sigh. He could see Bokuto’s shoulders sag from the corner of his eye as he glanced at the clock on the other side of the gym. Five or so minutes until the others arrived. 

“I actually have plans with someone on Saturday night, so I won’t be able to help you. However, I think Konoha could tutor you. I could also try and help you at lunch.”

“... Oh!” Bokuto stopped moving the ball, then dribbled it against the ground. “That’s fine! I didn’t know you had plans because I didn’t ask or anything and this is all sudden, so I get it. What is it? Family stuff?”

“No.”

“Best friend stuff?”

Akaashi’s lip twitched upward in amusement. “No?”

“Is it… like, you know... a partner thi-”

“Bokuto! Akaashi!” Akaashi jumped at the sudden shouts of his teammates arriving earlier than usual. He greeted them with a wave, brain accidentally tuning out Bokuto, who stumbled over his words from trying to acknowledge the others while talking to Akaashi. “Hey, Akaashi! I need help with a problem on my homework really quick! I just want to make sure I solved this right.”

He sighed at the first year, turning back to give Bokuto a nod. “We can talk more later.”

Bokuto gave him a smile, but his eyes didn’t hold their familiar glint. “Yeah, we can… later..”

* * *

The last Saturday of every month was a miserable day for Akaashi. He had to pack his backpack up and then hop a train to go to the next town over to spend the night at none other than Oikawa’s house along with the rest of the members of the P.S. squad. It was their monthly sleepover, something that couldn’t be skipped out on unless there was a dire reason not to. Kenma attempted once to not go, but Oikawa dragged everyone to his house and forced the blond out like he was smoking out a rabbit hole. 

The sleepovers started as a fun event where they’d all play volleyball together and get a bunch of take out to eat in the basement while playing dumb party games, but has since escalated after Oikawa’s most recent breakups. However, since the new rule was implemented (Rule number 21: No talking about each other's exes.), he couldn’t say much about the matter out loud. Now the sleepovers were a prime place to gossip combined with playing prying games in order to get to know everyone. From the deepest recesses of your mind to your favorite color, anything and everything was fair game as long as it didn’t contradict the squad rules. 

As per usual, Akaashi arrived almost an hour late. No one looked up from their activities, aside from Suga, who gave him a nod as a greeting with a finger placed to his lips. Akaashi glanced at Oikawa, who was sitting back with his phone pressed to his ear, a clear sign to not say a word unless you wanted to get shitty choices for games like Truth Or Dare later on in the night. Akaashi set his sleeping bag by Kenma’s before joining the circle of setters on the ground. The group already had compiled their to-go order from the nearest restaurant on a paper in the center, which Akaashi took before Oikawa could reach out and finish the order.

“Akaashi, if you don’t stop adding Kageyama to the chat, I’m going to kick your ass,” Oikawa hissed as he put his hand on the phone to muffled his voice for the other side. When he turned back to continue placing his order, he smiled and began to ramble something along the lines of, “Oh, not you! Did you hear me before about the yakitori?”

Akaashi could only assume that meant Kageyama had once again attempted to show up for the sleepover, only to be locked out of the house on sight. He suppressed a grin at the thought before busying himself with writing his order down on the paper in front of him.

“So, Kenma,” Suga whispered as to not receive death glares from Oikawa, “how’d your date go?”

“It wasn’t a date,” Kenma replied. He shuffled to sit closer to the wall. His fingers danced across the buttons of his game system, eyes never moving to meet anyones as he muttered, “but it was fun. They had a prize counter and I got myself a plush Yoshi.”

“Did he win you anything?” Oikawa asked, holding the phone close as he grumbled, “What? No, not you- Did you get the order down? And the sauces?”

“He only got 70 tickets.” Kenma cracked a smile. Suga gasped, but he recovered quickly by sending Kenma a pitiful smile that didn’t fly past anyone. Akaashi found himself leaning closer to Kenma, just like Suga. “So he got us both suckers and called it a day.”

Oikawa set the phone down with a long sigh before attempting to meet Kenma’s eyes and failing as the boy hunched further over his handheld. “I didn’t know you could even get just seventy tickets. That’s, like... playing two games in total.”

“He said he got distracted because I was smiling so much.” Kenma’s lips quivered, then turned into a forced frown to keep up his indifferent facade. Akaashi knew the look and feel all too well to know it was a mask, but Oikawa seemed puzzled. “I was just happy to be able to go since it’s been a while. It was relatively empty when we got there and we also got food afterward that was good.”

“It sounds like it was fun,” Suga agreed, rubbing his hands together, “so are you guys going out again soon?”

Kenma shrugged and Akaashi watched the interest drip out of his honey eyes as he resumed his game. He seemed ready to ignore the squad for the next hour or so until his game system ran out of battery, as was routine. After that they'd have perhaps one hour of Kenma being a bit social before he retired for the night. 

“Well, I’ll take that as a yes.” Oikawa sat up, signifying the talk was moving past Kenma. When his eyes settled on Akaashi, he felt his throat tighten. “Akaashi.”

“No.”

Oikawa scowled. “You can’t run from love!”

“I’m not running.” Akaashi replied, picking at his cuticles. “We just aren’t on speaking terms.”

“That’s not fair,” Suga hummed as he eased into the new conversation, “we aren’t going to force you into getting a relationship.”

“Yeah,” Oikawa agreed, “we are just going to force you to talk about who you’d want to get in the relationship with.”

“I’m not interested in anyone,” Akaashi insisted. He wasn’t going to subject himself to being a lovesick highschooler when he already had a lot on his plate. If he had a boyfriend, then he’d have to devote time to him. He’d likely want to take up precious time Akaashi would use for studying or practicing volleyball. Akaashi would have to talk to Bokuto about missing their usual morning practices in order to walk to school with his partner. Then there’d be the fact he wouldn’t have as much time after school with Bokuto. He wouldn’t have the honor or eating alone with Bokuto some days since he’d always have another person there. That is, if they’d even want to be around Bokuto. He knew his friend could be a bit much, but he admired his determination and drive. If his partner couldn’t understand Bokuto and instead disliked him… He didn’t know how far that relationship would go. Then again, he could borrow his notes on Bokuto with his partner so they could understand him the way Akaashi does, but even the thought of that was unappealing. He knew Bokuto better than most, but sharing his gathered information, the facts of their bond… It made him uncomfortable. It made him feel replaceable. 

That word didn’t sound right, but he couldn’t find a better word for the hole in his chest at the thought of another person knowing Bokuto as well as he did. It didn’t sound right. Akaashi could feel himself coiling away from the thought of it all. 

“No one?” Kenma asked quietly, not glancing up once. 

He shook his head, throat dry. “No one.” 

Surprisingly, after Suga and Oikawa exchanged a look, they dropped the topic. They talked about their teams and volleyball until their food arrived. Oikawa set each box on the floor, humming a pop song under his breath as he opened his yakitori and began to stuff his face. Akaashi took his time in between eating and holding up bits of Kenma’s food to his friend to ensure he ate. The room was relatively quiet aside from Suga’s moans of delight from his food, Oikawa’s chewing, and the small noise of buttons being pressed by Kenma. 

Once Suga finished his meal, he leaned back with a smile. “Let’s play a mellow game before we do any juicy ones. 21 questions?” 

“Sure,” Oikawa replied through a mouthful of chicken, “but you are allowed to ask anyone at any time within the rules of the squad. The person who answers asks the next question.”

“I’ll go first!” Suga grinned before turning to Oikawa. “How would you describe yourself?”

“Hot, confident, strong, cool… the list goes on.” Oikawa set his box and gestured to Akaashi. “You are pretty quiet, so who do you hang with besides us? Have any best friends? Or do you have no other friends?” 

Akaashi rolled his eyes before nodding. “I am around my team a lot and consider them friends. Early in the morning I am usually with Bokuto-san, and then we usually stay two hours after for private practice, so I suppose he is the closest thing to a best friend.” 

Then, without wasting time on spitting Oikawa’s poison back at him, he grumbled, “How’s your situation with Iwazumi going? Still considered a friend?”

Oikawa’s lips twitched, but he didn’t budge as much as Akaashi wished. Suga was wide eyed, but relaxed, and that provided Akaashi some comfort since the senior wasn’t ready to hold anyone back. 

“So, Bokuto-san? I feel like I’ve heard that name before.” 

“He’s Fukurodoni’s team captain.” Upon receiving blank stares, Akaashi turned on his phone and showed them the lock screen. It was a selfie taken by Bokuto a few months ago while they were heading to the store to find new knee pads. Bokuto loved the picture, and Akaashi knew it was his background as well, mostly because it was the only picture he possessed of Akaashi smiling while doing a peace sign at the camera. It was Akaashi’s favorite picture due to the fact he could see the shocked delight in Bokuto’s eyes and grin. 

“... Oh! He, uh…. Has an interesting look to him.” Akaashi glared at Oikawa due to his less than impressed, almost pitying tone. He pulled his phone back to his chest, hiding the photo while an ugly feeling flooded his lungs. He cradled the device, then tightened his grip on it as he turned his head away. 

Before Akaashi could sort out what to say, Suga asked a question. Akaashi wasn’t certain when he decided to butt in since it wasn’t his turn, but was secretly grateful. He had a tight rein on his emotions, but it was clear he didn’t always have an iron grip. He didn’t want to say anything past what could be forgiven by Oikawa in ten minutes, where it’d become a funny memory of Akaashi being sassy for once, then forgotten all together. 

“I don’t know much about your captain, but I’m sure you know everything about ours at this point. What are some things you like about him?” Akaashi felt his emotions ease, ready to talk up his captain for the sake of silencing the judgemental look still glued onto Oikawa’s face.

“Bokuto-san is very caring for the team, and always goes above and beyond expectations. He’s willing to teach new players moves and never gives up on them. He’s dedicated and smart when it comes to other people's actions and emotions. He’s kind and doesn’t think twice before helping someone out.” Akaashi felt a smile creep onto his face as he remembered Bokuto sitting in the tree with the cat stuffed in his sweater. “He’s the kind of person you can’t help but want the best for. He’s reminiscent of a protagonist of a book that has you on the edge of your seat praying it’ll all be okay, but all the while he’s telling you it will be, and he seems like he believes that with all his heart.”

Akaashi noticed then that his hands were flailing in the air recklessly as he spoke, trying to annunciate his words for him. He quickly set them back in his lap, fingers coiling with each other to hold them still. He took a breath, realising that as he ranted his heart rate increased like he was raving about winning a match. He hadn’t noticed. 

Suga whistled. “Damn, is there anything you don’t like about the guy?”

That stunned him. Of course, there was always something to dislike about someone. He disliked how Oikawa always was pushy and nosy, and how Kenma would sometimes ignore him outright instead of at least nodding, or how Suga would speak with food in his mouth. Humming, Akaashi mentally scrolled through his list of Bokuto’s weaknesses for a suitable one to announce.

There was always the fact Bokuto was a show off, but Akaashi didn’t hate that about him. He actually found it amusing at times, and when he didn’t it wasn’t like it was a hassle to deal with. If Bokuto wasn’t a show off, he wouldn’t be Bokuto.

He sometimes wished Bokuto had at least a clue on how to solve math equations, but that’d mean less times he’d have to help his senior study. He liked those times, especially since halfway through Bokuto would treat him or insist they go for a walk or play a game in order to keep their juices flowing. 

Akaashi’s eyes widened as he remembered Bokuto wanting to have another study session. He reached for his phone and checked his silenced messages only to see Bokuto sent one two minutes ago.

“Akaashi?” Suga cooed, waving a hand. Akaashi batted him away, reading over the message. “Earth to space cadet.”

[7:23] Bokuto: Do you think salad can be considered a soup? Or is soup a salad?

Akaashi let out a small laugh as he composed a response. 

[7:25] Akaashi: Please tell me you are studying.

[7:25] Bokuto: Kaash! Why would I be studying? I’m running errands for my mom, but if you aren’t busy we could play video games! I’m SO boREd.

Kenma nudged his shoulder, but that didn’t disturb the young setter beyond him throwing a glare back at the gamer

[7:25] Akaashi: You said you had a math test this monday.

[7:25] Akaashi: Right?

[7:27] Bokuto: … Oh! 

[7:27] Bokuto: Yeah, I forgot about that

[7:29] Bokuto: I made a mistake, that was last monday. Sorry ><

Akaashi furrowed his eyebrows before he realized he had forgotten. Two Fridays ago, he stayed after practice to help Bokuto out by solving some problems and explaining them. Bokuto was telling him about how he was nervous for the test the whole weekend. He… must have been distracted to forget that. 

Still, Bokuto should really know the dates of his assignments. Or any dates for that matter. He’d forget which days were school days if someone didn’t remind him every so often of what day it was. 

“I guess I kind of dislike that he can confuse me sometimes.” Akaashi finally answered as he put his phone down. “He has a hard time keeping track of dates.”

“That must be difficult for you guys, huh?” Suga cooed. Something about his tone made Akaashi’s skin crawl. 

“... Yeah?”

“Let’s play other games.” Akaashi glanced at Kenma, who was surprisingly putting away his game system. Before Akaashi could process the change, the other setters agreed and the decision was made without him.


	2. Chapter 2

There was something about 1 AM that made the other setters act like drunk children. Oikawa always insisted on staying up late because it made their brains too tired to hold back. Suga replied that there was something about the moonlight that made people more honest. Kenma didn’t care to theorize. 

Akaashi was leaning against the pile of board games they pulled out hours ago, taking in the sight of Suga giggling like a maniac as he helped Oikawa complete his dare of letting Suga draw whatever he wanted on his back. Kenma reassured him that Suga was only drawing a poorly built elephant, but the reality was much worse. 

“Akaashi, while Suga finishes, truth or dare?” 

He turned to look at Kenma, who was laying on his back on his sleeping bag. His eyes didn’t drift from the ceiling until Akaashi replied with ‘truth’. Then, Kenma flopped to his side and glanced over at the other two setters with a look Akaashi couldn’t pick apart before it was replaced with indifference once more. 

“Who matters the most to you?”

Without a moment’s notice, Bokuto’s grin flashed through Akaashi’s mind. Perhaps it was because lots of questions he’s answered tonight have been about his teammates. So, he answered without delay. “Bokuto-san.”

“You and Bokuto really seem close.” Oikawa cut in with a wince as the pen dug into his back. He pouted and tried to scoot away, but Suga’s hand shot out to grasped his shoulder, keeping him still. “It reminds me of how Kuroo and Kenma were before.”

Oh. Akaashi chose to stare at the crude, detailed drawing on Oikawa’s back while he tried to find the words to quell their obnoxious assumptions. Kenma sat up, back hunched. Akaashi expected him to impart some words of wisdom, maybe coerce everyone to tuck in for the night and stop pestering his friend, but he only yawned. 

“Truth or dare, Kaash.” Akaashi’s brow twitched at the nickname that tumbled out of Oikawa’s mouth, sounding like a cheese grater on his eardrums. He cleared his throat. 

“Truth, but it's my turn to-”

“Have you ever been, like, interested in him? Even a bit?” 

Akaashi shifted in his seat. He watched as Suga drew a long line, then glanced at the curtains behind the two. His fingers twisted around each other, wrists turned to stone and holding back his habit from distracting him further. Oikawa brushed Suga’s hands away from him and leaned forward. His eyes were challenging, a twisted smirk growing on his lips. “Remember, Kaashi, honesty only! And if you refuse to answer, you have to do a Double.”

Ah, the dreaded doubles. If you refused to answer a truth or dare, you were subjected to one a thousand times worse. Akaashi never experienced one, but he had seen enough of them to know he didn’t dare incur Oikawa’s wrath. However, for some reason, he couldn’t get his mind to formulate an acceptable answer. His breath caught the moment he wanted to either answer with a simple yes or no to ease into a different subject with such quick dismissal, but the need to defend his answer rose before he could even think of one. His mind swirled with sentences like "No, but-" and "Yes, well-". He knew his answer, but he had no idea how to word it in a way that he'd be satisfied with.

Of course, the answer was no. 

He never fantasized about Bokuto sweeping him off his feet and whisking him away into the sunset. In fact, he was certain Bokuto would slip and fall on his ass, sending them both tumbling to the floor. Akaashi smiled at the thought. Along those lines, he didn’t imagine ever swapping rings with Bokuto at an alter or kissing him sweetly under a mistletoe, things reserved for lovey-dovey, mushy-gushy couples in romance movies, but the moment the thoughts crossed his mind, his heart stung. He didn’t think of it before, but picturing Bokuto’s blinding smile and rosy blush as they held each other… These thoughts felt wrong. His heart was pounding. His palms were becoming clammy, his usual fidgeting doing nothing to quell his anxiety. Akaashi wasn’t sure if this feeling was good or bad. He didn’t know if it should be swept under the rug and neglected, or if ignoring it would make the weird feeling fester like an infected wound. 

The feeling swelled the more his mind raced with sudden thoughts of a domestic life with Bokuto and volleyball sprinkled in. He could picture them going out after winning a game, eating and running around the town as Bokuto talked his ear off. He could see Bokuto stop under the glittering city lights, eyes shining like the stars as he stepped closer to Akaashi. He could practically feel the spiker’s calloused hands stroking his cheek as he guided his chin up and-

Akaashi lurched forward, hands rising to shield his cheeks from view. His eyes were wide, unblinking as he tried to get a hold on his wandering brain. What was the question again? It was if he considered Bokuto before. The answer was no. He knew it was no, or at least, he thought it was no. The question was so bizarre, unlike anything he ever thought about on the daily, but now it felt like his brain was failing him. His ideas and thoughts and feelings were always in nice little boxes, stored deep in his brain, but now it felt like all the files were being set on fire. His forehead felt warm, and the heat slid down to his ears, cheeks and neck as he stumbled through nonsensical words. 

“You have five seconds to answer.”

Five seconds? When was that a rule? 

“Fivefourthree-” Oikawa rushed, grinning like a maniac as Akaashi’s hands shot up as if to stop the time from passing. The room felt hazy as Akaashi struggled to get his brain to hurry the hell up and force words past his numb, dry tongue.

“Twooo,” Suga cut in, capping his pen. The sound was deafening. His hands twitched, shaking as he tried to reign himself in and get some sense of control back. Images of Bokuto kept flashing through his mind. A memory of his crooked smile. Another of Bokuto eating at the last training camp with sauce staining his cheeks and hands. Another one of Bokuto sleeping, a line of drool training out of his mouth. These thoughts did nothing but further the building tension in his lungs. It kept pulling, his brain stretching further and further until it snapped. 

“Yes?” Akaashi whispered, panic evident in his tone as Oikawa began to say the last number.

Afterward, he debated if that was the answer he should have given them. Their wolfish grins made him uneasy, and their claws would undoubtedly be digging through his already shaky foundation until they found if he spoke the truth or not. Akaashi wasn’t certain of what they’d find. His chest hurt and he wanted nothing more than to crawl into the safety of his sleeping bag and forget everything by the morning. The unfamiliar aching was horrible, and no painkiller would make his chest cavity feel less cavernous. 

“Spill.” 

That seemed to be the one word he needed in order to act, and it wasn’t to hide. Instead, his instinct was to start speaking. His wrists lightened and his hands sprung into the air, twisting and gesturing vaguely to unseen images as his mouth began to run, faster than any command he called out on the court. 

“I don’t know if I do. I mean, he’s a very good player and is helpful, and he gave me his bento earlier in the week. I don’t think anyone could not like him. He’s impossible to dislike. He can make your day better by just smiling and- I don’t… I don't know. He's like... Some days, when it’s winter, I get in school before the sun rises and leave after the sun has set. I go the whole day without seeing the sun, but the moment I see him smile it has the same warm and tingly feeling-”

“Bro.” Akaashi jumped, only then noticing how his shoulders were scrunched close to his neck, mouth still fumbling to say more. Suga leaned forward and pressed his hands together in front of him. “Did you… mean to call him the sun just now?”

“I’m pretty sure you are deep in crush territory.” 

Akaashi pursed his lips and huffed. His hands fell back to his sides. “I’m going to bed.”

Kenma scooted over a bit so Akaashi could crawl past him and untangle the cords holding his bag into a roll as Oikawa tried to stop him. “Wait! There’s a LOT we have to unpack here!”

“If you are going to just tease me endlessly like you tried to do with Kenma a month ago with Kuroo,” Akaashi hissed, “then I’ll go home.”

“The trains have all stopped,” Suga commented. 

“I’ll walk.”

“Relax,” Oikawa groaned. He stood and walked over to Akaashi’s bag before sitting down on it and kicking Akaashi’s kneecaps to keep him away from his possessions. “We just did that because we wanted to see if Kenma would get flustered. You already are.” 

Akaashi’s ears burned. 

“I’m not talking about this.” He didn’t know if he could give a cohesive explanation to the whirling hollow he felt.

Suga sighed at Akaashi’s tone. He threw the pen he was using across the room, missing the side table he got it from by three feet. If Akaashi was in a bit worse of a mood, he might have mentioned his aim could have been why Kageyama was the main setter of Karasuno nowadays. However, he wasn’t as cruel as some of the others in the room, and was holding onto that fact to prevent him from losing his mind. 

“You don’t have to,” Suga replied, “but we are a squad for a reason. We might not always be nice to each other, but we have each other's backs. If you ever want to talk about it, we want you to know that what’s said here will stay here.”

“Everyone else has already unpacked their love struggles,” Kenma noted, “what makes you think you wouldn’t be allowed to?”

Akaashi kicked Oikawa off his sleeping bag. His senior landed on the floor with a grunt, then crawled back to his spot by Suga as Akaashi unrolled his bag. No one spoke as Akaashi set up his pillow and got beneath his covers, pulling the material up to his chin. Kenma followed his lead, but ended up too tired to unpack his sleeping bag entirely and just decided to use it as a thick pillow.

Oikawa stood and turned off the light, then headed to his stuff. Just as everyone got settled, Akaashi let out a deep breath. “Thank you.”

“It’s no problem,” Suga whispered back.

“We always got your back,” Oikawa mumbled in a rare moment of sleepy honesty. Akaashi felt his eyes burn, the aching feeling welling up slightly upon hearing the other setters. 

“Shut the fuck up, it’s like 2 AM,” Kenma growled. 

  
  


Akaashi wished his revelation at the sleepover didn’t affect his life outside the setter group chat. The opposite was his reality. The group hadn’t uttered a word about it since that night, but now Bokuto was constantly on Akaashi’s mind. 

He didn’t know why. He didn’t expect a setter to skip over to Bokuto the following day and rave about how Akaashi apparently had a crush on him. The weekend wasn’t over and yet he felt he needed to start walking on eggshells near the captain, especially since he didn’t actually know if there was a crush or Akaashi just had his head in his ass. 

When he got home from the sleepover, he got a message from Bokuto. He sank down onto his bed and stared at the text.

[12:32] Bokuto: Hey hey hey! If you get done with your plans soon, do you want to come over? We can go bowling, or go to that coffee shop you like! They are open til 6, right? We could go before or after bowling! 

[12:33] Bokuto: There’s crane machines by the alleys. I’m really good at them! I could win you something! 

[12:36] Bokuto: Or we can spend a night in. I could bring over your coffee and we could finish our movie? Or play a game?

[12:37] Bokuto: Caramel makkiatoe with two extra pumps of caramel, extra whip, six extra shots of expressio and you like getting two stir sticks and two sugar packets with it just in case! :D 

[12:38] Bokuto: … I actually forgot the size… is makkiatoe the size..? :(

He felt his guts squirming in a warm mush upon seeing Bokuto’s message. He could imagine Bokuto helplessly staring at the menu at the shop, trying to convey the order to the waitresses while speaking in tongues. Even if he didn’t have the full order, it was endearing that he got so close. Akaashi reached over and pulled a pillow onto his lap, hugging it close as he stared at the message. 

He had to help his parents once he unpacked his stuff, but it wouldn’t take long. Realistically, he could go out and see Bokuto. He could try his hand at bowling, though he couldn't recall ever doing it before wasn’t certain if he’d be able to get too good of a score. 

He wasn’t certain how to bowl either. He knew the balls weighed different pounds and that the end goal was to knock over pins, but he didn’t know how to throw or aim it properly. Maybe Bokuto would laugh at his attempts and help him figure out how to hold the ball, hands guiding with his own. A chill ran up his spine at the thought of Bokuto’s beaming grin inches away as he maneuvered Akaashi’s hands. 

A smile crossed his face. While that would be a nice scenario, it was a fantasy. In actuality, Bokuto would accept Akaashi’s nonexistent bowling skills and would enthusiastically start throwing the ball however he saw fit. They’d end up laughing like idiots as Bokuto managed to miss all the pins three rounds in a row. He'd probably accidentally chuck the ball and it would land on the land with a smack large enough to rattle Bokuto to the core and result in him hiding behind chairs to avoid the staff's looks of exasperation as Akaashi tried to contain himself. Before they started the next game, Akaashi would add bumpers to make sure they both scored over fifty points. Bokuto would likely be upset to have the safety net in play, but would be soaring high once he got his first accidental strike.

Bokuto would then try winning him a stuffed animal from the crane machine. Akaashi would stand at the side of the machine and mash his finger against the glass white coaching Bokuto how far back to move. It didn’t matter if they got a good score, or if they managed to snag a dollar store plushie. It already seemed like a perfect way to end a day. 

Bokuto would walk him home. They’d talk on the way and eventually their hands would brush against each other like a romance movie… And just like that, Akaashi slammed his head into his pillow. He yelled into his blue pillow case, then jerked his head up and messaged Bokuto back.

[12:45] Akaashi: No

[12:46] Bokuto: Aww, okay.

[12:47] Bokuto: Everything good…? 

Not really, Akaashi thought. His head was in the gutter. He was going to ring the setter’s necks for making him think and fantasize like a stereotypical teenage girl. Next thing he knew, he’d be doodling Bokuto’s name in a notebook somewhere. He may even write about how much he likes him and keep the notebook like a treasured diary. 

Akaashi sighed and tossed his pillow aside. He rose from his bed, ready to go help his mother when he spotted his familiar yellow notebook on his desk. He stared at it for a good moment before he hung his head. “Ah. I am a teenage girl.”

“... Keiji dear, are you talking to yourself?” He heard a soft knock at his door. His cheeks turned red as he stormed over to the door. 

“No!” Akaashi exclaimed as he headed over, leaving his phone on his bed. He’d figure it out another time. He’d learn how to act around his newfound crush. All he had to do was act natural.

  
  


The next three days of practice he missed the mornings entirely. He blamed it on him being tired and the fact it wasn’t actually required, but he was aware it wasn’t just that. The mere thought of seeing Bokuto made his mind begin to spin like he was in a loop of constant migraines. When Bokuto said his name during afternoon practice, Akaashi felt his heart skip a beat. It wasn’t comfortable. He always felt more at ease with Bokuto around, but now it felt like he’d only be worse off near his captain. It made him want to rip his hair out, especially when Bokuto appeared once during his class to have Akaashi help him with his tie since no one helped him in the morning. Akaashi made quick work of it, then stepped away before he could be wrapped up in Bokuto’s waiting gaze and small frown. 

“Kaash!” Bokuto chirped during practice Wednesday afternoon. Akaashi felt himself perk up at the nickname, but then he faltered and a scowl crossed his lips. He could no longer understand if his reactions were based on what the setters drilled into his mind or how he felt. How did he feel? Could he just set a ball and not worry if Bokuto was watching him for one minute? Why did it suddenly matter if his form was perfect? He knew his posture was always as best as he could manage, so he didn’t need to strain his ears to hear Bokuto’s ceaseless compliments. “That was amazing. That was the perfect toss!” 

Akaashi hooked his fingers together, eyes darting to the ball on the other side of the net. “Your… spike was great.”

Bokuto looked like he ascended into heaven. He whipped his head around to the others on the team who were getting ready to start cleaning up the gym. “Wait, did you guys hear that? You heard it, right?”

Konoha gave him a tired look. “Heard what?”

Akaashi’s lips twitched upward as Bokuto whirled around once more. His chest lightened upon seeing Bokuto’s pout, a look he was familiar with. It was almost like before the sleepover, where a little laugh would bubble in his throat as he tried to get Bokuto back in shape. Bokuto put his hands together, expression akin to a dog waiting to be adopted at a shelter. Akaashi took a step closer and, with his old self coming forward, slammed the door on the puppy’s face. “Heard what, Bokuto-san?”

He suppressed laughter upon meeting Bokuto’s disheartened gaze, but in an instant, Bokuto was smiling again. Akaashi blinked, laughter dying in his chest as his senior chuckled and patted his shoulder before running to get the ball. His shoulder burned at the contact, cheeks throbbing with dull pain as well. Bokuto’s smile could make soldiers willingly disarm themselves and bear their heart to him. He needed more time away from it. Perhaps, he mused dully, if he spent enough time separated from Bokuto, he’d forget about what he possibly felt towards him.

Akaashi packed up the net with a first year once practice ended. He purposely avoided Bokuto’s expectant gaze as he held two mops in his hand by the janitor's closet, obviously waiting for his vice captain to help him out. Eventually Komi took one of the mops and started badgering Bokuto to get moving. 

When they all got to the locker rooms, Akaashi changed quickly. He ignored the chats amongst his friends and threw on a light coat to protect himself from the winds outside. Just as he slung his bag over his shoulder and made his way to the door, someone called out to him. 

“Wait, Kaashi.” He turned to see Bokuto throwing on a shirt. He didn’t acknowledge the way his eyes drifted briefly, once again chalking it up to the setter’s comments getting to him. “I have to talk to you about captain and vice captain things. Totally confidential. I’ll meet you in the gym in a minute.”

“Another meeting?” Komi scoffed. “Wasn’t the last one just you trying to show off that you could do a backflip?” 

“And then you missed it and knocked your head so Akaashi had to help you to the nurse’s office?” Konoha added with a smirk.

“Confidential!” Bokuto barked, cheeks turning pink. 

Despite the light atmosphere, Akaashi felt like there were stones in his gut. “I’ll see you there.” 

He really debated just going home. Something about Bokuto and the way Akaashi had been not-so-subtly been avoiding him meant that that was likely going to be the subject of discussion. It was immature and he knew it. Avoiding morning practice wasn’t going to help anyone, and refusing to meet Bokuto’s stare was going to create a riff in their connection as a setter and spiker. He needed to get himself in gear. 

If he liked Bokuto, nothing should change. If he was beginning to think about him in class in a more romantic way than usual, that was his issue and he should keep it to himself. If he was debating adding to Bokuto’s weakness list the fact that he was absolutely distracting to his setter when fired up, that was his problem. He’d have to fix that one too, not push it down. He never realized how much he liked to stare and witness an excited Bokuto. Just hearing him cheer out was enough to make his heart valves flutter. 

Lost in thought, he managed to keep himself rooted in the gym until Bokuto came to greet him. 

“Kaash! How’ve you been?” Didn’t they just practice for two hours? 

“I’ve been good. And you?” 

Bokuto gave him a grin and nodded. The nod continued a few seconds longer than expected, then shifted into quick shakes of his head as the smile was replaced with a deep, cartoonish frown. “No! Not good! You are mad at me, right? Or you are disappointed. Whatever it is, it’s not good!” 

Akaashi watched as Bokuto raised his hands to his head, one holding his temple while the other punched his head, though not enough to be too painful. “I didn’t mean to make you upset! I’m sorry!” 

Akaashi reached up, taking Bokuto’s hands into his own. He tugged them away from his skull, eyes scanning Bokuto’s head for any signs of injury, his eyebrows knitted tightly in concern. When he found nothing, his grip tightened on Bokuto’s hands, a threat to stay still. His mind unhelpfully noted how warm Bokuto felt. 

“What are you apologizing for?” Perhaps because an apology wasn’t necessary. Bokuto hadn’t done anything that upset Akaashi, and he didn’t think he was mad at anyone, even Oikawa. Well, he may be beginning to get mad at himself and his overworked brain.

Bokuto glared at his shoes, cheeks puffing out. “Because I messed up, obviously. I did something I shouldn’t have, and now you are avoiding me.”

“I haven’t,” Akaashi lied. Bokuto didn’t look convinced. 

“You’ve been missing morning practice! You never skip out on those, or you’d at least text me if you were running late!” Bokuto’s voice died down momentarily as he glanced down to his shoes, pouting. “That’s supposed to be our practice.” 

Akaashi bit his lip. “I’ve been staying up later to study.” 

Bokuto’s expression faltered. His eyes fell to the floor, hair looking like a balloon deflating as he pondered over Akaash’s lie. Within seconds, Bokuto’s hands clasped his with newfound strength. “Then can we do something now? It doesn’t have to be volleyball! Anything you want, we can do. I am missing out on valuable kouhai time and won’t stand for it!” 

Akaashi didn’t have a chance at rejecting him from the moment he saw wide golden eyes staring into his soul like he held the key to happiness. He coughed into his hand to distract himself from the sight. Bokuto really did look like the sun. He could feel the heat of Bokuto’s rays casting down on his cheeks.

“We can go get food?”

Bokuto beamed and jumped in the air. “My treat!”

  
  


Even though he didn’t hang out with Bokuto much after school like this, Akaashi couldn’t help but feel like his day was on track when he stood in the candy aisle of the nearest convenience store, watching Bokuto look over the nutrition labels of each option. Perhaps he was also missing his daily dose of Bokuto. 

“Bokuto-san, there really isn’t a difference between those two,” He butted in, leaning over Bokuto’s shoulder. He enjoyed the familiar closeness, even with direct contact.

“I’m thinking,” Bokuto whined in response before putting them both down and picking up a bag of marshmallows. “These probably wouldn’t be good so soon after practice, huh?” 

“No, I don’t think so.” 

Bokuto set the bag down with a sigh and glanced around the aisles. “We could get instant noodles.” 

“Those are also not good after practice,” Akaashi said, watching with amusement as Bokuto leaned back to rest his head lifelessly on Akaashi’s shoulder for a split moment. Akaashi relished the feeling, and as soon as it was gone, he didn’t understand how he was just fine with being near Bokuto moments earlier. 

The dilemma seemed to annoy Bokuto, who grumbled as he tried to find a solution that’d make him happy. In the end, he clapped his hands together. “Cheat day!” 

Akaashi watched as Bokuto picked up three boxes of candy and juggled them all to the counter. A box slipped from his pile, which Akaashi picked up with a sigh. He blushed as he read the bold white font. It was a classic box of pocky, a normal snack to anyone except for those with their heads in a gutter. He placed it on the pile Bokuto formed on the counter. 

Bokuto paid in crumpled bills, refused a bag, then stumbled out to the curb with all the snacks bundled in his arms. Akaashi helped him set the boxes down as Bokuto sat on the curb. Once their pile was neat, Akaashi took a seat right beside Bokuto, who noticed immediately and scooted closer until his shoulder was pressed firmly against Akaashi’s along with his leg. He sent Akaash a large grin as he began tearing open a box.

Akaashi leaned into the touch, cheeks dusting pink at the thought of Bokuto noticing. He brushed a hand through his short hair and averted his gaze. Clearing his throat, he gestured vaguely around them. “Are we eating here?”

“Yeah, it’s kind of in between our houses, so it’s a good middle place,” Bokuto replied as he opened the marshmallows, “I also don’t want to keep you out late if you’ve been studying so much. Must have some killer tests coming up, right?”

Bokuto dropped a marshmallow on the ground and it rolled several feet away before it stopped. Akaashi examined the dirt stains on it. He could feel his fingers moving against his command, twisting together to combat the weird feeling stirring in his chest. He let out a long breath in hopes of easing the strange tension, but was snapped from his thoughts as something soft pressed to his lips. He let out a gasp and jerked back to find Bokuto was holding out a marshmallow for him. 

“Uh, no thank you,” Akaashi mumbled. He shoved his hands in his pockets, subconsciously leaning away from Bokuto’s doe eyed look and tilted head. Without a remark, Bokuto tilted his head back and popped the marshmallow in his mouth. He set the bag down as he chewed and picked up the pocky in turn.

“Do you want this?” Bokuto asked as he waved the box in front of Akaashi’s eyes. He could practically see Bokuto with a stick in his mouth, leaning forward with that same gaze, teasingly moving the end toward Akaashi up and down in impatience. Akaashi shrunk further into his coat, gulping down the fake scenario. 

“Not hungry right now.” 

Bokuto frowned and held the box to his chest. “I guess I forgot to ask what you wanted, right? I just assumed you’d want something sweeter than an apple or something.”

Akaashi watched Bokuto open the box. He ate two sticks at once, staring off down the street where the lights were beginning to turn on. It was around the time they’d normally head home, long past the teams’ practice since Bokuto was always eager to get in as much spike practice each day as possible.

“I was hoping I could get you to eat some junk food because I heard chocolates and such were good to eat when you are sad… Or at least, candy always cheers up my siblings.” Bokuto took another piece out, and examined it between his fingertips. “Since lately you haven’t been acting like yourself.”

Akaashi’s shoulders scrunched close to his ears, hair pricking up at Bokuto’s assessment. “I’m fine, Bokuto-san. Nothing is wrong. Just have some things to sort out.” 

Akaashi words left an unfinished note to them, and they would remain that way. He wasn’t well versed in this. He didn’t know feelings and emotions like Bokuto, and he wasn’t sure if he was sad. Is that what the feeling was when he avoided Bokuto? When he didn’t show up to practice? He had no idea, and there were a hundred other issues swirling in his head to care about. 

He leaned back and stared at the dark sky looming over their heads. A gust of cool wind calmed his cheeks. He recalled Bokuto’s over-caring nature as a weakness in the notebook he wrote, but debated crossing it out for a brief moment. Even if Bokuto was the cause for so much confusion, his presence and light made him feel better than any other company. 

Yet another reason to fall for him. 

His jaw clenched at the passing thought.

His friend didn’t seem to notice as he reached down to stuff his cheeks with more marshmallows. “You shouldn’t eat so much of that. We have a game this coming weekend, right?”

Bokuto didn’t respond verbally, but Akaash can tell what he wanted to do. He can feel the push Bokuto wants to give, the force he’s dying to exert in order for Akaashi to talk to him, but he’s not doing it for one reason or another. Akaashi isn’t sure whether to be thankful or not. Bokuto clutched the pocky box and poured a few rods out into his hands, then ate them just as quickly as they appeared. 

After eating two boxes of candy, Bokuto once again held out a piece to Akaash. He refused it, waited in the silence that followed, then said his goodbyes. He left Bokuto sitting on the curb aside an empty bag of marshmallows, one still neglected from the moment it fell to the ground. 

  
  


Akaashi believed he had himself together on game day. Well, as together as he could. He was appearing at practice and wasn’t avoiding Bokuto for the most part. There were times he couldn’t meet his upperclassman’s stare, but Bokuto didn’t seem to notice. 

They were facing Nekoma for a practice game, which meant that there was no real stakes to worry over, but they did have a decent chance of having the first years’ confidence shattered. And Bokuto’s, but Akaashi already knew the steps he’d have to take to prevent that. 

The whole van ride to the other highschool was spent planning strategies and ignoring others attempts to drag him into a conversation. Bokuto sat beside him in the middle as usual, occasionally knocking their knees together as he turned as far as he could to look at the players behind him. The drive was an hour long without including the ten minute break to get gas and have a tiny bathroom break. He spent the time he had trying to school his thoughts into only thinking about the game. It proved to be harder than he thought when halfway through the trip, Akaashi was knocked from his thoughts by a heavy weight on his shoulder. 

He glanced down, movements restricted. Bokuto was resting his cheek on Akaashi, his hair almost brushing Akaashi’s reddening chin as he stared down at the other. Two white earbuds were in his ears, stopping him from hearing the pounding of Akaashi’s heart. 

His hand jutted out and shoved Bokuto. He didn’t even process the movement until Bokuto jumped, eyes snapping open in surprise. He quickly ripped the earbuds out, glancing around as if something drastic happened, like he was napping through a car accident. When he found nothing wrong besides a few curious and confused glances, he tilted his head at Akaashi. 

“Sorry, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi mumbled, voice cracking, “I need to focus right now, and you are distracting me.”

He turned to stare out the window and didn’t dare look back. His cheeks were burning, and flared up more as Bokuto tugged on his collar, trying to get his attention. He ignored it until Bokuto leaned back into his own space, choosing to stare at his earbuds for the rest of the trip. When they arrived, he snatched his bag off the ground and fled the car. He spotted some of the Nekoma players walking around outside. Kenma was amongst the few, and he only nodded toward Akaashi. Akaashi swallowed the knot in his throat and nodded back. 

Rule number five of the pretty setter squad: People were allowed to theorize if they saw anything suspicious, but the pretty setter squad remained a secret.

Akaashi waited for the rest of the team to exit the van. He tapped his foot on the asphalt, brow twitching as they lumbered out, wiping their eyes and cracking inside jokes. Bokuto lagged behind the rest. Immediately, Akaashi knew it would be a long day. Bokuto’s ear buds were dangling out of his pocket, hair almost notably deflated, and his eyes were downcast as he made his way to the gym while passing Akaashi without a word. Suzumeda jogged over to Akaashi, clipboard in hand. 

“So, what’s the plan, vicey?” She clicked her pen, pointing toward the downtrodden captain. “Is his stomach upset or something?”

“No, he’d be complaining in that case,” Akaashi replied. He frantically searched for a time when Bokuto was ever quiet in this way, but couldn’t produce any solutions to his predicament. Par for the course for Bokuto to try and surprise him moments before a game and leave him scrambling for answers. Akaashi sighed, staring at Bokuto’s slouched back as he walked, feet dragging. 

“Not feeling confident then!” She marked something on the board and sent him a grin. “Want me to tell him I heard a girl passing by saying he was cute?”

A gross feeling climbed in his chest, but he mumbled through gritted teeth, “Go ahead.” 

Suzumeda saluted, then darted off, calling to the captain. Akaashi adjusted his bag and headed into the gym. His mind attempted to wander to thoughts of how he should set and in what order they should try their attacks, but his brain favored to think about Bokuto’s usual grin of satisfaction after hearing a girl had complimented him. He unintentionally dropped his bag with a loud thud near one of the last chairs, ignoring the open spaces between the players. Kenma was joining his team in a small huddle, but shot him another look before getting pulled in. 

Deciding it had been enough time, Akaashi glanced over to see how his captain was fairing. He… looked the same as he did earlier, and a few feet away, Suzumeda stood puzzled. 

Akaashi bit his lip. It wasn’t completely impossible, but Bokuto could be nervous? It didn’t sound right in Akaashi’s head, but he still nudged a first year nearby to get his attention. Upon meeting his eyes, Akaashi leaned down and muttered, “Go say something nice to the captain.”

“Ah, alright!” The player, Anahori, exclaimed. He jumped up from his seat, accidentally knocking over a water bottle. With a muttered curse, he snatched it back up, taking his time putting it in a safer place. “Are you guys alright?”

Akaashi frowned. “What?”

“Uh, it’s just-” Anahori stuttered, “you guys just seem like… are you fighting? This week you’ve both… Then the car ride…”

“I don’t understand what you are referring to.” Akaashi folded his hands together to keep himself from moving too much as he waited for Anahori to finish. He got a shaky smile. 

“Well, Bokuto-san and you haven’t been practicing as much, or talking,” He mumbled with gaps of hesitation, as if he wasn’t certain how Akaashi would react, “and then you looked upset in the car when he leaned on you.”

Before he could explain his situation, about how he was sleeping in from cramming late at night (a lie, but an acceptable excuse), Anahori continued, “And that was weird ‘cause he always does that. Once he’s knocked out, you always make sure everyone stays quiet and then sleep leaning against him if the trip is too long. Today you didn’t even look at him until that moment.”

Akaashi bit his lip and glanced at Bokuto, whose head was still hung as Konoha hit his shoulder repeatedly, trying to get a rise out of him. Anahori leaned forward into Akaashi’s space as he blabbered on, “And you are also the one always saying to never change routine before games so he’s in the right headspace.” 

He met eyes with Suzumeda, who was previously hovering in Bokuto’s space to tell him the news about the girl. She gave him a frown and shook her head, relaying answers Akaashi already was aware of. He rubbed his eyes, taking the time to not look anyone in the eyes as he tried to formulate a new plan. Of course his running mind was causing the team to have issues. He really needed time to think once this was all said and done. 

“Anahori, enlighten me,” Akaashi urged, making a beckoning motion with his hands as he lifted his head, “what do I usually do? We need to get Bokuto-san in shape before the game starts. We have about ten minutes.”

“You- you don’t remember?” Anahori exclaimed. “Do you have memory loss or something? Maybe you did hit your head last Friday, that’s what Washio said-“

Akaashi raised an eyebrow. He could feel a small headache coming in. He beckoned for the student to continue, eager to get the show on the road and cheer Bokuto up. “We really don’t have the time for this.”

“Oh, right!” Anahori stood up a little straighter. “Well, for starters, you always sit by Bokuto in the gym instead of at the end of chairs. And I mean like, you two are practically glued to each other. You guys always give each other a pep talk before any game. If Bokuto is in a mood, you are always patting or rubbing his back and trying to get him out of it. If you are thinking real hard about something, you play with his hands and he just says random stuff and I’m pretty sure you are never paying attention because some of the stuff that he says-”

Akaashi was barely processing Anahori’s rambling. He tried to think back to all the games they had last year and the few they had this year, but came up blank for any of the instances spoken about. Warmth crept up his cheeks as he imagined fitting his fingers between Bokuto’s so casually and without a worry in his mind, his senior never bothering to stop his annoying habit of fiddling with anything he could get his hands on. 

“Is that all?” Akaashi coughed into his hand to cover his gaze as he peered over Anahori’s shoulder to look at the dejected Bokuto. 

“That’s all you can do now. Well, besides making up for whatever happened between you guys.” He glanced at his peer, who froze. “Uh, I don’t mean to pry though! He can say and do some stupid things sometimes, but you know he means well.”

That’s what made the whole situation feel worse for Akaashi. He stepped over a bag on the floor and made it over to his captain, avoiding meeting the eyes of his teammates, who immediately moved away. He couldn’t suppress the shock that passed his expression at the sight of a vacant seat next to Bokuto without anyone’s stuff tucked underneath. He knew there were players dying to sit by and be closer with the ace, but assuming everything Anahori said was correct, that seat was left purposefully for Akaashi. 

He took a seat, breathing out some of the negative emotions caught in his throat before looking down to his captain, who remained slumped in his seat, elbows on his knees. 

Knitting his fingers together, Akaashi looked to see the other Fukurodani members being distracted by Konoha as he showed off his strength with weird pushups. Konoha eased himself down, then pushed up, clapped, then caught himself on the way down, stopping before his face collided with the ground. He huffed a laugh at their antics, imaging Bokuto in any other mood just about bursting to have a chance to try out the move. 

“Bokuto-san,” Akaashi greeted with a little nod. He didn’t receive a response, which was concerning, but not completely out of character when Bokuto got in his funks. Cautiously, he unknotted his fingers and placed a hand on Bokuto’s knee pad. The fabric felt familiar, but the action was so foreign to do purposefully. It took seconds for Bokuto to scoot away, allowing the hand to fall from his knee. 

“You don’t…” Bokuto mumbled, then sat up a bit straighter, lips curled downward. He looked more put together than Akaashi expected, but he didn’t look like Bokuto. “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”

“Anahori said I may have snapped at you earlier. I didn’t mean to upset you, or to sound harsh.” 

Bokuto nodded his head, hand swooping down to grab his water bottle. Akaashi allowed him the time to take a long drink, uncertain of what to say as Bokuto set the bottle down and wiped the corner of his lips with the back of his hand. Across the court, Nekoma was talking to each other, looking more like a team than Fukurodani at the moment. 

“Agaashi,” Bokuto finally sighed. He dropped a hand down on Akaashi’s shoulder, heavy and warm, but immediately pulled away with a quick breath sucked in. Washio shouted something unintelligible, and that almost stole Akaashi’s attention away, but he strained his hearing long enough to pick up Bokuto suddenly spewing pitched sentences his way. “If I do something or say something that makes you uncomfortable, please tell me and I’ll avoid doing it, okay? I know I can mess up a lot, but I don’t want to make you upset or anything like this again. We can move past this, right? F-Forget it, or something?” 

Akaashi’s heart thudded hard in his chest at the sudden declaration that sounded… sweet. He may have considered it touching, but he felt that Bokuto was adding too much of a dramatic flair to it. It wasn’t that big of a deal for Akaashi to scold him lightly, but even so, he now wanted nothing more than to bring Bokuto that same warm feeling. His eyebrows drew together as he leaned a little into Bokuto’s space, making a show of placing his hand on Bokuto’s shoulder. The captain avoided his eyes, but didn’t move away. “Bokuto-san, I meant it when I said I wasn’t angry. I overreacted.”

Bokuto didn’t look convinced, but before he could retort, the whistle blew. Akaashi glanced to his teammates who all shifted back and forth in their spots, eyeing the two of them with a certain look. He knew what they were thinking: This was going to be a long game.

  
  


“You all seem so distracted today!” Kuroo laughed a few serves in. Akaashi narrowed his eyes at the tone. It wasn’t entirely a taunt, it was a clear wake up call about how messy their team was that day. He met Kenma’s eyes from the other side of the net as a player grabbed the ball that was just spiked down in front of Washio. 

“Even if this is a practice match,” Kenma muttered, “you still need to give some effort.”

Akaashi clenched his fist, but said nothing. Needless to say, they lost their first set. The team was shaken due to their silent captain and the vice captain taking the lead, almost barking to certain players to get moving and to do certain things. Bokuto managed to get a spike or two in, but it wasn’t enough to get his mood up. 

“Can we call time?” Komi yelled to the coaches before the ball was tossed again. Their coach held no hesitation in accepting, grumbling under his breath. Akaashi managed to ward everyone off with his glare as he stalked his way over to Bokuto. His shoulders were slouched, head hanging low in defeat though they still had a fighting chance. He had to make him see it. 

“Bokuto-san,” He urged, crossing his arms together, “what do you need?”

“I don’t understand it, Kaashi,” Bokuto whimpered, hands flailing uselessly, “I hit the ball, but it doesn’t have the same… ‘oomph!’ factor, you know?”

Akaashi recalled his past sets, praying that he hadn’t been the one messing up spikes. He couldn’t remember messing his structure up, but there was a chance that Bokuto being off his a-game was messing up Akaashi’s order of importance, prioritizing watching over his captain than serving as best as he can. He bit his lip and bowed his head. “I’ll try harder this time.”

Creases appeared on Bokuto’s forehead as he deciphered Akaashi’s words. Once he processed them fully, he pointed at Akaashi with a frown, “Hey, this isn’t your fau-”

“Akaashi.” Akaashi jumped at the sound of his voice from the other side of the net. He glanced over to find Kenma standing there with a blank look on his face. His wide eyed stare almost uneased him since he only saw that calculated gaze directed toward video games. “Did you tell Bokuto-san yet?”

Akaashi’s shoulders shot up and his throat tightened. Bokuto peered up with a quizzical look, which egged Kenma to step closer to the net, face almost pressed up against the material. 

“Tell me what?” Bokuto whispered as if he was being introduced to a conspiracy. 

Kenma sighed at Akaashi, shaking his head. Akaashi felt his heart lurch as the setter grinned, cat-like and full of mischief. “My team decided to celebrate our match afterward with a BBQ. You all were invited. Guess the news wasn’t relayed.”

“Kaashi!” Bokuto cried, bouncing on his heels. His smile was back, and Akaashi was filled with relief. “You forgot to tell me?” 

He took a deep breath and nodded. A small smile made its way on his cheeks, but he didn’t feel too happy inside. He should have known to bring up food if nothing else was working, and this oversight was upsetting to say the least. He felt like he knew Bokuto completely, inside and out. He had a whole notebook dedicated to him, but he was slipping up. Shaking his head, Akaashi turned to Bokuto, “That's right. I’m sorry, Bokuto-san. It must have escaped my mind.”

The team resumed their positions on the court, but before the whistle blew, he glanced back to Bokuto. Despite the promise of his favorite food even if they lost, his smile was slipping, eyes downcast. He turned back to the game, sucking in a deep breath. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoped you like the new chapter and art!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akaashi takes advice from the setters on how to make Bokuto like him. It goes as well as you'd expect.

[8:23] Oikawa: I bought this new shirt and the sleeves are too tight.

[8:24] Oikawa: This is my usual size too…

[8:29] Oikawa: You guys would tell me if I started gaining right.

Akaashi sighed the moment he opened the groupchat. He decided Oikawa didn’t deserve an answer and then typed in his message.

[8:33] Akaashi: I need help.

[8:36] Oikawa: I’ll take that as a “No, Tooru-chan! You look fantastic! You've never looked better!

[8:37] Kenma: I thought being honest was a setter rule

[8:40] Oikawa: Fuck you. 

[8:42] Oikawa: Kash, please start spilling before I go off on this bitch.

[8:55] Akaashi: I’ve put some thought in what happened sunday. About bokuto. I can understand it now. He’s sweet, caring, and apparently we are a lot closer than I thought, but there’s still stuff that I don’t know about him. I want to make him happy however I can, but Im afraidiwontbe able to do so. I dontknow what to do with this information.

[8:58] Oikawa: omg. Wait. So what you are saying is that you are sooo getting a boyfriend

[9:04] Akaashi: If… he will have me…? 

Akaashi threw his bag on the ground by his bed. Exhaustion seeped into his system as he flopped down on his grey sheets. He held his phone close, switching between the chat and the photos he took that day with his team. There were multiple Bokuto taken and sent to him, including the usual selfies he took with Akaashi dragged in. To his dismay, there was far less than usual, but then again, he doubted his phone could take fifty new pictures he’d save and never delete. Four was manageable. 

[9:08] Oikawa: Should I remind you of the rules, little owl? Or is your wise old memory up to snuff?

He frowned at the message. The pretty setter squad was great, he appreciated them a lot, but there were some things he never cared for. He never complained since most of the rules of the squad were easily followed and didn’t involve anything he was doing. However, there was one rule that now seemed like hell to have to follow. 

Rule number whatever: You have to be asked out in order to date someone. 

It was one of the first rules, most likely made by Oikawa (and the reason Iwazumi and him haven’t paired up yet, if Oikawa’s pining in the chats had anything to prove). 

[9:10] Akaashi: Right. He has to ask me out. I don’t think that’ll work.

[9:10] Oikawa: That’s not an issue! You are a total catch! If my type was a silent, kinda nerdy, analytical setter, and someone who could probably out Resting Bitch Face a statue, I’d be head over heels for you!

[9:12] Akaashi: Thanks. I think.

[9:21] Suga: It’s not so bad. You just have to find a way to get his attention and then, like, keep reeling him in ‘til he's on his knees, groveling for love.

Akaashi laughed at the thought of Bokuto being so dramatic. 

[9:23] Suga: I can show you how I got Daichi, but we’d have to meet up or do a video call.

[9:24] Oikawa: I don’t think you ever actually told me how you and Daichi got together. Can I join in on the call? Could learn some things for the next time I wanna steal someone’s heartttttt < 3

[9:29] Suga: Yeah, no. Strictly between me and kash. This won’t help you with Iwaizumi, promise. 

[9:32] Oikawa: D:

[9:32] Oikawa: Wait, who said anything about Iwa-chan? I meant other people! Cute ones, not mean bullies XP

[9:33] Suga: Uh huh. 

Akaashi got a separate chat opened with just Suga. He followed along and dismissed Suga’s attempts to meet, too busy with practices to have the time. In the end, Suga sent him a video of himself. It was five minutes long, but Akaashi got less than a minute into the tutorial before his face turned bright red. He exited out and entered the main chat. 

[9:36] Akaashi: Suga, I don’t think you teaching me to ‘throw it back’ will help me score.

[9:40] Oikawa: Seriously, Refreshing? I know what throwing it back is.

[9:41] Suga: You may know what it is, but you don’t have the ASSets for it. 

[9:44] Kenma: Suga tried to spare your feelings, but I guess you had to hear it the hard way. 

[10:12] Oikawa: I hope you jerks know my legs are now trembling from how many squats I just did. 

[10:19] Oikawa: I messaged Iwa-chan and he said I couldn’t throw it back either :(

Akaash ignored Oikawa’s whining and went to bed. Well, actually he stared at his ceiling with thoughts coming and going, all centered around one person. His hand kept drifting to the yellow notebook he had dedicated to Bokuto, but couldn’t bring himself to open it. The more he stared at it, the more he remembered their last match and how all his usual methods hadn’t worked. He prided himself in knowing his captain better than the back of his hand, but even with all the information he had, he was surprised so much by what he learned.

Bokuto felt like a fable. He didn’t notice how natural it felt to be around him when even his team noticed. Everything about him felt like turning a page, new information absorbed and used to help his captain whenever possible. Now it felt like he was throwing the book of Bokuto open, fumbling through the pages to read into the signs and understand when things shifted for him. The more he read back through, scenes he thought he memorized, the more he realized that there may not have been a specific moment that caused him to fall, though that sounded too cliche for his tastes. 

He felt something when he first saw Bokuto play. He dropped everything, even his chance on student council to play volleyball with him. Then there was the time Bokuto first wrapped his arm around Akaashi’s neck and shoulders, his other hand messing up his short black hair. More and more, memories poured into his mind and a smile graced his face. He recalled the time when Bokuto learned he missed Akaashi’s birthday and showed up on his doorstep at 9PM the following day with a messed up, crumbling cupcake. He met Akaashi’s eyes, then bellowed out a Happy Birthday song that had Akaashi scared of the police showing up for a noise complaint. 

Akaashi laid down on his bed, hand resting on his yellow notebook. He made a mental note to rewrite it later. He closed his eyes, but they snapped open when he heard his phone ding. He silenced the main chat a while ago, so he quickly rushed to check the message.

[11:01] Suga: Hello love bird ;) So I’ve been thinking about a new plan. Since you don’t want to throw it back (you really should), I have a few other ideas if youll hear me out

He indulged him, opening up the yellow notebook. He clicked his pen, opening to a fresh page. 

[11:02] Akaashi: I’m listening.

[11:06] Suga: Okay, so I happen to know that Daichi absolutely d i e s over some things I do. I’m guessing twerking isn’t your thing?

[11:08] Akaashi: I can block your number.

[11:09] Suga: Sassy! Anyways, the easiest way to capture a boy's attention is with your body. Truth hurts, men are dogs. Well, besides us. We are the glorious cuts of meat they are drooling for. 

[11:09] Suga: I have some really cute tight shorts I can lend you, one is faux leather and looks Really Nice. Or you could always try and borrow his clothes, that makes everyone weak in the knees. Daichi always lends me his jacket when I’m cold! So sweet -u- Anyways, if you really want to step it up a notch after those… have you heard of the bend and snap? :)

[11:10] Akaashi: Unfortunately. 

Akaashi regrettably wrote down both suggestions. He knew he could eventually erase them later if the thought of doing them got too embarrassing. Once he was finished making the small list of suggestions, he moved his wrist up to the top of the page and crossed out the dash named ‘wear tight, used shorts’, but paused over the one below it titled ‘bend and snap’. 

Akaashi laughed at the idea of him doing that, but when his laughter died, he sat in the room, silent and waiting. He waited for the urge of disgust to make him cross it off the list, but ended up leaving it on. It was a last ditch effort, definitely. 

Before he fell asleep, he wrote a title for the top of the page. A Love Guide For Owls. He thought Bokuto would get a kick out of it. 

  
  


Early in the morning, Akaash arrived to practice with a small notepad in his jacket's pocket. He hummed under his breath, though would forget a few times that he was and would pause, the autumn's chilly, howling winds picking up his song as he recalled his upperclassman’s texts. He’d have to try the easiest task on the list first. He tugged his jacket closer to his body, nuzzling his cheeks against the collar for extra warmth. 

Akaashi entered the school yard, and could see right away the gym door was propped open with a rock. He kicked it aside and walked in, spotting Bokuto’s water bottle on the ground. The storage closet was open and he could hear rustling inside. He huffed out a breath and recalled Suga’s advice. He shrugged his coat and stuffed it in his bag. He stepped into the cold for a minute, then came into the gym once more, shivering. 

“Bokuto-san, are you changing in the closet again?” 

“Akaashi!” Bokuto squealed, stumbling out soon after. He was fully dressed in his athletic uniform, his normal school clothes being unceremoniously dropped in a pile on the ground. He paused upon giving the setter a once over. “Did you forget a coat?”

“I thought it’d be warmer than it was,” Akaashi mumbled, wrapping his arms around himself. He curled his shoulders inward and brought his legs closer, remaining stilted. Part of him thought it was ridiculous to try and position himself in a way that depicted a stereotypical vulnerable person. After a moment of silence, he added, voice lacking any desperation for warmth, or any emotion for that matter, “I’m freezing.”

Bokuto shook his head, shaking a finger at him. “If we start practicing, you’ll warm up in no time!”

Akaashi’s eyebrow twitched as he took a few strong steps closer. He remembered then to pretend to shiver. He awkwardly moved his jaw, creating a horrid teeth chattering effect that wouldn’t have been believed by even a five year old. “T-Too cold to move that much. I’ll wait.”

Bokuto frowned a little, fiddling with his hands until he seemed to get an idea. His face lit up and Akaashi thought he might have gotten the hint. However, instead of picking up his school blazer from the floor, he reached out and grabbed Akaashi’s hand. The moment he did, Bokuto dropped it and jerked away, eyes widening. 

“U-Uh, is that okay?” Bokuto sputtered out, waving his hands in the air in vague gestures. Akaashi breathing stilted as he tried to understand, but ended up going with his usual instinct: Trust Bokuto. He slowly nodded his head, a wave of goosebumps creeping up his arms, though it wasn’t from the cold nipping at his neck. Bokuto blushed. Slowly, as if encountering an injured rabbit, Bokuto reached a hand out and took Akaashi’s wrist. Though the movement was anticipated, Akaashi jumped at the contact, his cheeks catching fire as Bokuto jerked him forward, tugging him into a warm hug. 

His mind blanked. Bokuto held him tight, his free hand rubbing up and down his chilled arm to try and warm the numb skin. Akaashi let out a shuddered breath, which made Bokuto pull back just enough to gauge his reaction. Unable to meet his captain’s eyes, he tugged on the ends of his shirt, waiting for something. He was met with a sigh of his own, which made his eyes flicker up for a brief moment to see the Bokuto’s eyes downcasted. He stepped back, removing his warm arms from Akaashi. 

“I’m sorry, it’s a bad habit,” Bokuto mumbled, glancing aside, “you can push or yell if I do that too much so I can get it through my head quicker.” 

“Bokuto-san?” Akaashi whispered, not trusting his voice to not crack, but also feeling a spike of distress upon seeing his crumbling expression. “What are you talking about?” 

Bokuto shuffled in his spot, but froze when someone walked into the gym complaining about a test they’ll be talking about later. Bokuto took the surprise to escape from Akaashi, rushing over to tease his peer. Akaashi waited to see if he’d at least turn for one last look, but when he saw he was being dismissed, he took his bag and darted toward the club room nearby. 

Akaashi changed fast, but lingered in the club room until others came in and got dressed as well. He recalled Suga’s advice, most of which made Akaashi wish he could be Thanos snapped out of existence. However, failing to get a jacket was a bit ridiculous. In fact, he seemed to have upset or confused Bokuto in some way, if his behavior said anything about his feelings, which it often did. He’d have to be bolder. He’d have to make his intentions very clear with no room for second guessing, even if it burned up in his face by a harsh rejection. Akaashi had to use his nonexistent assets, like Suga insisted, to get where he needed to go. 

When he entered the gym, he noticed his teammates bellowing voices as they began to stretch out or challenge each other to little athletic competitions. He decided to stay out of the way of the noise, choosing to begin lunges across the gym. Stretching his legs out, he let his eyes wander, soon landing on Bokuto, who was trying in vain to touch his toes a few yards away. Upon noticing Akaashi’s staring, he straightened out and darted over. “Kaash! Toss me a ball?”

Akaashi glanced to the sidelines, where a ball was laying by a tipped over water bottle. Suga’s advice cut through his thoughts as he stared at the ball. While he was still against ever throwing it back, there was the bend and snap advice. He felt like he was signing away his soul to a devil as he nodded. Bokuto’s cheers didn’t reach him.

His cheeks turned pink as he took a deep breath and walked over. He pictured Suga standing beside him, coaching him with a voice filled with hope and innocence. What a vision of bullshit. How did Suga serve as a perfect image of a team mom, but actually be so far from it? 

His fingers grew sweaty and clammy as he approached the ball. It mocked him, looking so natural. He’s picked up so many of them, but this ball in particular felt like a guillotine. There was a split moment he wanted to turn and make sure Bokuto’s eyes were on him. He wasn’t usually scrutinized over posture or skill in scooping up a wayward volleyball, but he wanted to be. He wanted to get over this as quickly as possible, but also as effective as possible. 

Ignoring the dread and discomfort building a home in his stomach, he stopped before the ball. He rolled his spine as he bent down. His fingers grazed the sides of the volleyball, but his attention focused on keeping his knees as straight as possible. Gliding his hand up, he curled the ball into the crook of his arm, then straightened out, his other hand roaming up the side of his thigh. His fingers tugged his shorts up an inch before the fabric was freed, his hand still trailing up to smooth over the tiny curve of his hips. 

He turned on his heel to face Bokuto again, using his free hand to run his fingers through his hair in an attempt to hide the blush climbing his cheeks. It was only then he noticed the gym was relatively quiet. No, quieter than Akaashi could ever remember it being. He could drop a pin and hear the aftermath of the crash ringing off the walls. 

Konoha spoke first, clearing his throat. “Akaashi, what was that?”

Komi wheezed. “Okay, so I wasn’t the only one that thought that was like-”

He didn’t finish his response, but the damage was done. Akaashi’s brain was malfunctioning, searching for any composure or left over tidbits of wisdom Suga could offer. However, instead of any advice on how to not seem like a dumbass for being caught showing ‘the goods’, his mental version of Suga was cheering like a mad man. 

With a knot building in his throat, he faced Bokuto, who was looking at the others with a strange expression. When his eyes met Akaashi’s, the floor felt like it was going to swallow him up. 

“Huh?” Bokuto hummed, tilting his head. “Did Agaashi fall or something?”

Akaashi had to ask himself what the point of trying was. 

  
  


[12:01] Akaashi: Thank you, Suga, for the advice. However, due to personal reasons, I will no longer be looking to you for anything.

[12:03] Suga: :( My advice was flawless. What happened?

[12:05] Akaashi: I embarrassed myself in front of the whole team because they saw me do the ‘bend and snap’ thing. Well, everyone saw Except Bokuto.

[12:06] Suga: You win some, you lose some. That’s just how the cards fall. 

[12:09] Oikawa: Come to the Aoba Johsai side. We are actually competent. 

[12:10] Suga: Competent at what? You haven’t had a partner last over a month, like, ever.

[12:11] Oikawa: No one keeps my attention long enough it seems~

[12:11] Suga: I could name one.

Akaashi rolled his eyes, ignoring wherever their conversation was heading. He bit the inside of his cheek as he packed away his notebooks. His eyes remained trained to his phone despite the nagging feeling of being lured into yet another trap that’d leave him emotionally scarred. 

[12:12] Akaashi: I’m listening. 

[12:15] Oikawa: Have you ever heard of the Damsel in Distress role?

Akaashi was beginning to develop an awful habit of hearing people out. He watched the rant of texts that followed as he took out his bento from his school bag. He intended to eat in his classroom, but upon seeing a familiar face at the door, he began to pack up his stuff. Tucking his bento into his bag, he made his way through his classmates and to the door. No one batted an eye at the upperclassman waiting there, too used to his presence. 

“Agaashiki, want to eat together?” Bokuto asked as if Akaashi could tell him no when he gave him that wide eyed, expectant pout. He nodded, smiling to himself as he spied Bokuto’s bag strap balanced on his head. 

They found a place in a vacant hallway to eat. Sitting on the small window sill ledge, they opened their bentos. Bokuto immediately began talking about a class he was in. He apparently got called to the head office for being a distraction, which wasn’t entirely unusual. Akaashi found it amusing to see his friend puff out his chest, a satisfied grin on his face as he boasted about his accomplishment, if it could be referred to as such. 

Akaashi picked at his food, only speaking up to give Bokuto time to stuff his face with food. His fingers twitched, rolling the chopsticks between the pads of his fingers. He watched Bokuto swallow a chunk of meat whole, and was relieved when he didn’t start choking. 

Speaking of choking, Oikawa’s mention of a damsel in distress came to mind… He wasn’t about to start choking. He wasn’t certain Bokuto knew the heimlich maneuver, and even if he did, Bokuto was so strong that he’d likely crush his lungs. Akaashi unfortunately entertained the thought for longer than he intended, because when he broke out of his thoughts, Bokuto was no longer talking. He sighed, shaking his head to get his thoughts together.

It’d have to be something simple, Akaashi decided. He set his chopsticks down on the side of his bento and brought a hand to his lips. Turning his head around, he tried to find something to help him. Across the hallway was a single flyer for a cooking club, and beside it was a fire alarm. A smile graced his lips as he remembered when Bokuto once pulled the fire alarm to test how firmly he’d have to grip it in case of a real emergency. It was out of the goodness of his heart, so he didn’t get in much trouble once the faculty realized he was genuinely trying to be helpful. Akaashi still made him go through a punishment that was more than a mere slap on the wrist. For one whole practice, he refused to set for Bokuto’s spikes. He could still recall the heartbroken look in Bokuto’s eyes and how it didn’t sit right with him… He may have tossed Bokuto a few balls after practice. He couldn’t bear to leave his senior looking so downtrodden.

Moving his gaze, he examined the rest of the hallway, but found nothing that stuck out. He could always trip on accident, but Bokuto could be following too closely and fall over as well. Biting his lip, he reached out for his chopsticks, but paused when he saw his opportunity. He jutted one of his knees up and eyed his chopsticks as they rolled off the side and crashed to the floor. He forced on his best surprised expression, a simple raise of his eyebrows and a hand to his lips. “Oh.”

Bokuto leaned forward, almost spilling his own bento. “Five second rule!”

“No.” Akaashi resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose, instead choosing to sigh down at his bento. He gathered the lid and napkins he had, setting them over the rest of his food. “I guess I’m done eating for now.”

“Whaaaat?” Bokuto pouted, glaring at the other’s lunch. “You ate like three bites! You won’t have enough energy for after practice practice.” 

“I suppose not. I probably won’t be too useful today. I apologize in advance, Bokuto-san, but I might not be able to give you the best sets.” Bokuto gasped. Akaashi could feel the rusty gears in Bokuto’s brain turning. He expected it was likely Bokuto trying to picture a quick route to the cafeteria on the other side of the school, or if it’d be faster to try and mooch some untouched ones off of a fellow classmate. He waited, suppressing a smirk as the captain suddenly sat up straight. 

“Wait! Just use these!” Bokuto grinned as he shoved his own chopsticks into Akaashi’s hands. His breath caught in his throat as he stared down at Bokuto’s chopsticks, admiring their warmth and the small BBQ stain on the side of one. He could see the shine of leftover saliva on the ends, and blushed at the thought of using them. 

Bokuto seemed lost in his world as he absentmindedly picked up some food with his fingers and ate it. He chewed it twice before swallowing and facing Akaashi again, who didn’t even adjust the sticks yet to begin eating. 

Akaashi wished he knew if this was Bokuto being Bokuto, a sweet, caring teammate, or his way of being sweet and caring for him alone. Either way, the thought of an indirect kiss, no matter how juvenile and pathetic it was, was enticing. He glanced to Bokuto out of the corner of his eyes. The captain gulped down the meat in his throat, Adam's apple bobbing before his relaxed expression changed. It was a flash of something Akaashi recognized, but it wasn’t so common in this setting. He saw it in Bokuto’s eyes when he was suddenly thrown into a position in-game that he didn’t like. It was the same quivering lips he had when he was getting antsy during a deuce. Bokuto’s knee jutted up twice before the action was schooled, the energy traveling to his hands, which reached toward him as fast as lightning. Before he knew it, Bokuto ripped the chopsticks from his hands and threw them across the hallway. They slammed against the wall, then fell to the ground in a pitiful heap. 

Jumping in his seat at the fast movement, Akaashi sent Bokuto an incredulous stare as the other laughed, loud and excessive. It carried on four seconds longer than his usual outbursts, something that made Akaashi’s eyebrows furrow, luckily distracting him from the slight hurt of being denied what was given. 

When he managed to catch his breath, something that was a bit too schooled for Akaashi’s tastes, Bokuto peered up and mumbled, “Uh, five second rule?”

  
  


Akaashi’s stomach growled as practice ended that afternoon. He sat down at the sidelines, dreading putting away the equipment when the rest of the team was gone and it was only him and Bokuto. After his defeat at lunch, he messaged the setter chat to announce the results of Oikawa’s advice only to get a direct message from Kenma with his own tidbits of wisdom. 

[1:23] Kenma: When I’m with Kuroo, all I usually do is pat him or lean on him and he’s in the clouds for the rest of the day. Bokuto’s like a puppy, too. I think it will apply to him as well. 

He glanced to the clock, debating if he had enough time to get a snack from the vending machine outside. None of it was healthy, definitely not something he should eat after an exhausting practice. However, hunger was gnawing at him like a stray dog being kept away from a bone, and he found himself leaving his packing up teammates to their own devices so he could grab something. 

He jogged out of the gym until he met the vending machine, luckily uncrowded despite how many people liked to stop by for snacks after clubs. He punched in the buttons for a bag of popcorn after staring at a small box of pocky through the glass for what could only be described as far too long. Everyone was leaving as he entered the gym again, and he was not surprised to see Bokuto running back and forth with boundless energy. Akaashi popped a kernel in his mouth, chewing the hard shell as he stood by the entrance. Bokuto whipped his head around as if he could sense Akaashi’s presence like incoming storms. His golden eyes glinted under the harsh gym lights, a shine reflecting off his wide grin as he raced over. Akaashi swallowed harshly at the sight, almost gagging on the kernel as he straightened himself out, holding his gaze with the other as best as he could. 

“Do you want to start by doing a quick lap around the school? Or two?” Bokuto asked, bouncing on his heels. Akaashi nodded slowly, opening the bag more to fit his hand in. The crinkling of the plastic caught Bokuto’s attention, and as if on cue, his stomach let out a loud growl. 

“Are you hungry, Bokuto-san?” Akaashi asked, popping another piece into his mouth. Bokuto rubbed his neck with a sheepish look. Enough was said with the simple action. “Would you like some?”

Bokuto beamed at the offer, reaching over to bury his hand into the bag, but Akaashi pulled it back quickly. It earned him one of the most betrayed looks he’d ever witnessed. 

“Your hands are dirty. I’ll pour some out.” 

Bokuto blinked, then cupped his hands together. Akaashi tilted the bag and let a generous amount of the contents fall out. Bokuto threw his head back, pouring the popcorn into his awaiting mouth. He managed to diminish half his share in seconds, then ate the other half. His cheeks were puffed as he chewed on the cheesy goodness, eyes closed in bliss. 

Akaashi spied his hands, now stained with cheese dust along with dirt. His own hands were still clutching the small bag, inches from Bokuto’s wider palms. Kenma’s advice lingered in his head, reluctancy to touch the stained hands winning out as he looked back up at his teammate’s peaceful expression. His eyes narrowed on a small line of yellow dust on the side of his bottom lip. 

His finger brushed over the line, leaving the dust imprinted on the pad of his thumb. A smile fell on his lips as he pulled his hand away, but his grin slipped when he met Bokuto’s wide golden eyes. They froze in place like deer encountering a car. Paralyzed, yet aware that the car was about to slam into them and leave them gasping for breath and time. What was the car? 

Bokuto lurched forward, his hands falling to his knees as he wheezed, mushy chunks of popcorn flying out onto the slick gym floor. Akaashi was pulled from his trance at the sight of his captain choking, an indescribable noise of surprise passing his lips. He reached out to give him a pat on the back, but froze in place as he recalled the look on Bokuto’s face as they stared at one another. A thick blush crossed over his cheeks as he recalled how close they were and how time seemed to stop.

Akaashi watched his captain gasp, but forced himself to hold his hands together to resist the urge to help. He was certain if he touched him again, he’d be pulled back into the same lullaby that made him weak in the knees with a fluttering heart. That wouldn’t be useful now, especially with Bokuto only now starting to get a full breath of air. 

Bokuto whipped up, pants passing his lips. Strands of his hair fell into his face, a sharp contrast to his bright red skin as he bit his lip. He threw his head back down, bowing lowly. “I’m so sorry for touching you!”

“Touching me..?” Akaashi’s eyebrows furrowed. His grip tightening around the popcorn bag, once again begging himself to not smooth a hand over Bokuto’s shoulder, or lift his chin so he didn’t look so distraught. Bokuto stood up straight, stiff as a board. His refusal to meet Akaashi’s gaze caused a sudden pain to spike in his core. He felt his eyes burn.

“I-I’ll do the laps on my own! I’ll be back!” Bokuto ran out of the gym like a bat out of hell. The door slammed behind him and echoed off the walls. It rattled Akaashi’s already shaken self, sending a shiver up his spine as he bowed his head. He raised a hand to his chest and pressed down against the fabric of his jersey. His heartbeat was missing a beat, likely causing the blunt pain that filled his lungs. He coughed to see if he was choking, but it only served to log the lump deeper into his chest. He tossed the rest of the popcorn in a waste bin and did his laps inside. 

  
  


[9:00] Akaashi: I don’t think it’s working out.

[9:10] Akaashi: I thought it might have been going well, but then theres a moment of the universe snapping before me and suddenly its all wrong.

[9:23] Akaashi: I think I made him uncomfortable.

[9:30] Kenma: By touching him?

[9:32] Oikawa: Okay you did fucking what 

Akaashi felt a groan escape him as he stared at Oikawa’s text. So, he thought ruefully, I did mess up. In hindsight, Oikawa did have the most relationships out of everyone combined. Sure, most ended within a month, but the fact that he did date people meant he had some words of wisdom. Meanwhile, Kenma, as good as his intentions were, only dated Kuroo to Akaashi’s knowledge, which was his childhood best friend. Akaashi buried his head into his pillow as he tried to come up with a response. 

[9:32] Akaashi: I think indulging in this has gone too far. I appreciate the effort in trying to help my love life, but I knew this wasn’t a good idea from the beginning. I have to focus on school and volleyball. 

[9:33] Oikawa: Woah, hold up. I don’t know who told you to touch him, but that’s a bad move. You have to be more direct with boys like that. Touch can be taken so many ways

[9:34] Oikawa: It’s late, but I’m going to send you a few links. Please look into them and trust me.

He wondered if he was considered selfish for continuing to listen to the setters when he obviously made Bokuto uncomfortable earlier. Maybe he was still holding onto false hopes. Akaashi glanced at his bookshelf, only a few feet from his bed. If Bokuto was the sun, could he liken himself to Icarus in this situation? Wanting to be too close to something so amazing, but knowing he could never reach something untouchable? 

[9:34] Akaashi: Okay.

Akaashi laid in his bed, opening the five links he was sent. His heart twisted as he read the article's headlines, all among the lines of ‘50 best pick up lines’. He closed his eyes tight and tossed his phone. It landed on his notebook of Bokuto at the foot of his bed, which he promptly pushed onto the floor with his foot.

His phone buzzed until he reluctantly peered over the edge of the bed to see the messages. 

[9:43] Suga: Really?? Your idea is pick up lines??? That’s probably why you can’t keep a date

[9:45] Oikawa: NO TALKING ABOUT EX’s IN THE ChAt

[9:46] Kenma: Suga, are you an angel? Because you look heavenly

[9:47] Suga: Kenma, is that a mirror in your pants? Cause i can see me in them

[9:48] Oikawa: FiRST OFF THAT ONE WORKED ONCE SO JOT THAT DOWN

Akaashi fell back in bed and ignored the beeps of his phone until the groupchat fell silent. Curling up on his side, he snagged a pillow from the top of his bed and hugged it tight. He spotted the notebook sitting at his bedside table, the love guide for owls. It felt like a sick joke, but it didn’t stop him from thinking about owls and the stupid formulas for crafting the perfect pick up line. 

  
  


Akaashi woke up with heavy limbs and a dull headache. There was a brief moment where he stared between sheets and the door, debating if he wanted to face the world today, but eventually he got up and changed. He walked with a sway in his step, exhaustion fogging up his brain. Akaashi slugged his bag over his shoulder and headed downstairs to make breakfast. His body moved on its own around the kitchen as he recalled the links he was sent. There’s been a fair share of pick up lines he’s had the misfortune of being the recipient of, and none of them were flattering enough for him to gain the smallest bit of interest in the one flirting. Then again, his eyes were always on the games, on his studies, on making sure Bokuto was fired up for their next match.

He stared at his toast with a crumby look. His teammates told him about how close Bokuto and him usually sat, how they helped each other during games, but those days were long gone. He didn’t appreciate them like he should have. Now Bokuto seemed to reject his touch. If only pick up lines could actually fix something so confusing. 

He entered practice late. Everyone was packing up to go to class the moment he walked in, but no one jabbed at him for sleeping in. Some looked him up and down, noting his red rimmed eyes and creased pants, then continued on their way to the club room. He waited until everyone was done, then walked with them to class. Bokuto easily fell into step with him near the back of the group. 

“Good morning, Sleepy-kaashi,” he teased, nudging Akaashi’s cheek with something cold. Akaashi jumped, scrambling back a step in shock before he recognized what Bokuto was holding out to him. It was a skinny, brown and white can with bright orange lettering littered all over it. He accepted the coffee immediately, opening it up with every intention to chug it before class began.

“Thank you, Bokuto-san.” He took a small sip and relished the taste. “Good morning.”

“Decided to sleep in today? You look really tired,” Bokuto noted, leaning close to inspect Akaashi’s dark circles and pale skin. 

Akaashi waved a hand dismissively. “I had a lot of homework to do and tried to get the rest of it done this morning. Once I finished, I realised I was already late.”

“Ohhh, keep putting that off and you will end up like me!” Bokuto laughed, though it wasn’t much to be thrilled about. He knew Bokuto was aware of how important academic scores were, but his senior had simply got used to being teased for his low marks and began to make jokes about it himself. “I still have no clue what math class I’m in!”

“I’m not certain that’s a good thing.” Akaashi let out a small sigh. “Please, if you need help, just come and ask me.”

“I know I can always come to you.” Bokuto grinned, rolling his shoulders. Akaashi shooed away the thought of Bokuto’s voice almost sounding fond for that one moment. 

“Good.” Akaashi felt a little wave of satisfaction roll off him as he walked into school. His ears burned as the warm air surrounded them, the feeling reminiscent of how his cheeks heated around his teammate. He pulled his coffee closer to his chest. 

The group chat’s messages crossed his mind when he remembered his moment with Bokuto in the gym the other day. He lowered his gaze to the floor momentarily, waiting until his blush died down so he could look up again. When he did, he spotted an image of the Fukurodani mascot in a photo near the trophy case. His mouth ran before his thoughts could become coherent. “Are you an owl?”

Bokuto seemed to ponder this longer than he should have, but eventually clapped his hands together with a smile. “I guess we are all owls, right? So yes! Though, I’d prefer to be a great horned owl specifically. They look so cool, right?”

Akaashi paused in his step. His grip tightened on his coffee before he took a long swing of it, swallowing down the uncomfortable feelings climbing up his esophagus. Wiping the corner of his mouth with his sleeve, he spun on his heels and met Bokuto’s gaze. His confidence was slipping the longer his eyes bore into the other’s, and he noted that this wasn’t what movies meant when people said they needed ‘liquid courage’. Still, with as much confidence as he could muster, he stated with clear diction for emphasis and cohesion, “Because I think you are hoot-iful.” 

Bokuto stared for a moment, then gasped, a hand coming up to his lips. “Oh! You mean beautiful, r-right? Hoot-iful. Well, in that case, I think you, that you, uh you… you are really hoot!”

Bokuto’s hand dropped to his neck, rubbing the skin roughly with his sleeve. Akaashi frowned a little as Bokuto started walking faster, mouth running as well. He followed as best he could, moving through his other teammates like obstacles on a field. “Like, hoot as in hoot, right? Like an owl. Like because owls are cute, they are, like, hoot? That works, right? Because I think you are hoot. F-For an owl, I mean!”

“Oh my god.” Konoha turned and gave them a glare. Akaashi stumbled, his brain catching up to him when he realized everyone was watching them. He paled, easing back behind everyone while staring at Bokuto’s back. “Is that the best you two got? Hey, Komi! Komi, are you an owl? Because you took my heart soaring!”

Komi cackled. “Seriously? No, that’s also mega lame! Hey, Sarukui, I think I might be an owl, because I’m active all night thinking about you!”

Akaashi groaned at the fight of pick up lines breaking out before him. He cast Bokuto a glance to see if maybe he didn’t imagine the pick up line he was sent, but found the captain instead was back with the group, making the argument that owls weren’t necessarily nocturnal. He sighed and pulled out his phone. 

[7:59] Akaashi: Did it. He called me hoot.

[8:00] Akaashi: *cute

[8:02] Oikawa: That’s proof he likes you. No one calls you cute unless they mean it.

Akaashi didn’t mention that his team was currently spouting off compliments like that to each other like it was going out of style. He didn’t want to face the possibility of it being a joke, like all the other pick up lines are.

[8:04] Oikawa: Now that you are on the Tooru Train, time for the next step in my foolproof plan for love. One sec, I know a little someone at Fuku who owes me a favor ;) What class are you in? 

Akaashi answered Oikawa with little hesitation, then silenced his phone. They neared his classroom, and he made his move to slip away from the group undetected. Just as he reached the door, he heard his name called out. He glanced over to see Bokuto waving to him, a wobbly grin on his lips as he averted his gaze to the wall. “Lunch again?”

His chest tightened as he felt a buzz from the group chat. He had to trust in Oikawa, even though the idea of it sounded like a death wish. Shuffling his feet into a power stance, he gave Bokuto a curt nod. “I’ll meet you in the hall again.”

He casted a glance back before he entered his class and spotted Bokuto being jabbed by one of the third years. Bokuto shouted something before following after them, going back to his boisterous self. Akaashi smiled and went to his desk. 

  
  


Class went by as it usually did. Akaashi wrote his notes, occasionally drawing little circles in the margins of his assignments. When they were allowed to pair up and work, he found himself alone, work already complete. His circle doodles turned into little fat owls under his pen’s tip,his chin resting on the heel of his hand as he turned some of the smaller circles into volleyballs. 

He pushed his papers in his folder when the bell rang. He was about to head out for lunch when a classmate met his gaze. She smiled and stopped before his desk, asking for guidance on a problem. Irritation nipped at him, but he remained seated and explained the problem, using his pen to mark what mistake they made and where to go from it. By the time he was able to return his attention to the front of the class, the teacher was already packing up to head to their next room and an unfamiliar student was standing before his desk. 

She had long, tied back blond hair and bright eyes. Her uniform was tidy and neat, her hands folded behind her back as she leaned closer into his personal space. She was likely a year older, but he couldn’t hazard a guess as to why she came to see him. He wasn’t involved with much outside of volleyball. Ah, unless she’s here to get him to give a note to an upperclassmen on the team. His mind drifted to a certain upperclassmen, and a frown pressed onto his lips. He glared up at her. 

“Keiji-kun?” She asked, voice like the birds chirping outside his room each morning. She untucked her hands from behind her back, revealing a white box with a pink ribbon wrapped around it, ending in a neat bow. His nose twitched at the nickname. “Sorry, Tooru asked me to give this to you? I made it in Home Ec earlier while I was waiting for my other stuff to cook! I hope this helps!”

Akaashi looked over the box as the girl left. He expected a note on top or some guidance, but the group chat hasn’t messaged recently, if the lack of vibrating in his jacket pocket meant anything. Refusing to ponder over the situation longer, mostly to avoid his classmates' stares and whispers at the girly box he held, he stood up. He made sure to take his bento from his school bag along with the box before slipping out to meet Bokuto where they ate the day before. The halls were devoid of students, so he had time to freely stare at the box with a little frown. He was tempted to open it, but he was already running a little behind schedule and didn’t want Bokuto to get antsy. Or worse, have Bokuto find him with the box opened. He wasn’t certain how he’d explain that. 

Akaashi sighed and took a deep breath in. He had to trust Oikawa. Once he was able to reign in his nervousness, he turned the corner to find Bokuto sitting at the window sill. 

Bokuto was already eating, but paused to wave Akaashi down, as if he hadn’t been heading over. Sparing him a smile, Akaashi took a seat beside him on the window sill. Bokuto swallowed, about to begin telling a story, if the glint in his eyes hinted to anything, but paused. Akaashi followed his blank gaze to the ribbon tied box in Akaashi’s lap. 

“Are you, uh, holding someone’s lunch for them?” Bokuto asked, giving him a tight lipped smile. He watched as Bokuto put down his chopsticks, something he rarely did in the middle of lunch unless it was early spring and Bokuto saw a toad across the courtyard. Even in that case, he’d have Akaashi hold them as he swatted down and tried to coax the amphibian into his palm. 

Akaashi was pulled from his head at the humorless laugh that left Bokuto, lacking all the fire and joy Akaashi was accustomed to. 

“Oh, or is it a secret admirer?” Bokuto’s lips twitched downward, but was quickly replaced with a smirk that Akaashi could recognize easily. It was the same look he had when he entered a court, confidence radiating off of him like he was truly untouchable. “Well, I mean, maybe you shouldn’t eat it in that case. They probably don’t know you can’t have dairy, and that you have a nut calgary.”

Akaashi laughed under his breath. “Allergy?”  
  


Bokuto nodded, pointing to the box. “So it’s probably not safe to eat it. You can have some of my lunch instead, if you are hungry.”

“It’s fine, Bokuto-san. I wasn’t planning to be the one eating it.” Bokuto’s eyebrows shot up at the claim. He leaned closer, waiting for him to continue. Akaashi shifted the box between his fingers, biting the inside of his cheek as he pondered for a moment over how to phrase his words. There wasn’t much time to think. With a shaky sigh, he mumbled, “T-This is a… thank you for the bento a while ago. And for letting me use your chopsticks for all of four seconds.”

Bokuto gasped, eyes sparkling before a different expression passed over him. His eyes widened, lips fumbling for a moment before he let out the loudest cough Akaashi ever heard. He bashed his fist against his chest as if to get back in control of himself, then pointed a finger at himself. Akaashi sat up straighter upon seeing the way Bokuto’s eyes shined with wonder. “That’s for me? From you?”

With a smile, Akaashi untied the ribbon for him. “Yes, you were on my mind and I wanted to return the favor for all you’ve done for me. It’s-”

He froze as he opened the box. Right smack in the middle of the box was an owl shaped rice clump with designs made from little morsels of other ingredients. Right on it’s chest was a large pink heart. Surrounding the tiny bird were jelly desserts with pink blossoms in them and strawberries bordered the container, cut in a way that reminded Akaashi of hearts but he knew they were merely just cut in half. Nonetheless, it looked like the creation of a fifth grader in love. 

Too direct, Akaashi thought as he slammed the lid back down. Bokuto jumped a little at the sound, still trying to get a peek at the inside of the box even when Akaashi was holding it shut with as much strength as he could muster. Cheeks pale, Akaashi floundered for an excuse. 

“I jostled it too much!” Akaashi announced with an uncharacteristic yelp. “Uh, it looks really bad!”

Bokuto’s eyebrows furrowed, but soon a gentle smile took over his features, nothing but good intentions at heart. “I don’t mind, I’d love anything you make.”

Blushing, Akaashi scratched his neck. “It’s hideous. I’ll make a new one right now.”

He stood, ready to flee to the other end of the country, but was stopped when Bokuto grasped his wrist. When he met Bokuto’s gaze, pleading and encouraging, he couldn’t help but sink back into his seat, heart racing. He debated shaking the box vigorously in order for Bokuto to not see the pink and red mess inside, but he didn’t want to risk a heart decoration staying intact. 

Bokuto gently put his hands on the box, but Akaashi tugged it away once more. “You can’t look at it.”

A laugh escaped Bokuto as he tossed his head back a little, but it wasn’t the same uncaring, sporadic movement Akaashi was used to seeing from him as of late. He looked like the old goofy Bokuto. “Then how am I supposed to eat it?”

Akaashi’s gaze drifted to the chopsticks on top of his bento, an idea he was sure to regret forming. He refused to turn toward Bokuto as he snapped his chopsticks in half, then opened the top of the box slightly. “J-Just close your eyes.”

Bokuto did so without a word, but Akaashi could see his form go perfectly still. After making sure Bokuto wasn’t looking, Akaashi picked up the big heart and part of the owl’s wing. He made a mental note of where all the worst and most girly parts were, deciding they’d be the first to go as he shifted to face his stiff upperclassman. Biting the inside of his cheek, he guided the food up to his face. “Uh, open up..?”

He did, and Akaashi made quick work of placing the food on his tongue before jolting away as if he was about to be bitten. Bokuto closed his mouth, humming in satisfaction at the taste swirling around his mouth before parting his lips once more, awaiting more food. Lips quivering and blushing brighter than a christmas tree, Akaashi fed him a strawberry. He felt that some unknown force was about to strike him down from the tingling, anxious state he was cursed to be in, ready to die the moment someone else stepped out into the hallway and saw them. It didn’t happen, even after the owl was completely gone and only a few of the strawberries remained. 

He slowly lowered the chopsticks, staring holes at the ground. “You can open your eyes now.”

Bokuto did, grinning ear to ear as he licked his lips. “That tasted really good! M-Maybe sometime we could, like… do a lunch exchange? One day I make your food, and you make mine in return?”

Akaashi’s cheeks burned. “I wouldn’t be opposed to it.” 

Bokuto managed to pick up the conversation without difficulty, occasionally bumping shoulders with his friend as he explained how he saw something outside his classroom window that he thought was an owl, but turned out to be a crumpled newspaper. Akaashi ate as he spoke, realizing halfway through his meal that he had used his own chopsticks to feed Bokuto. 

“Actually, while we had a small break, some girls in my class were doing a weird game!” Bokuto exclaimed, gesturing to his hands. “I really wanted to try it too, but they didn’t let me.”

“We can try and play it,” Akaashi offered, “if you know enough to teach me.”

Bokuto nodded. “I just need to see one of your hands for a second.”

Akaashi raised his eyebrow, but held his left hand out, his right busy playing with his chopsticks. Bokuto sent him a smile before cradling his hand, one one top and the other on the bottom. He glanced down at Akaashi’s long fingers, eyes narrowing as he moved his top hand around in small circles. Akaashi wasn’t certain if he should ask what he was meant to do, so he instead chose to be prepared for whatever would follow. Bokuto eventually settled his hand back on top of Akaashi’s, their palms together as he let out a frustrated groan. 

“Okay, maybe I wasn’t paying as much attention as I thought!” He admitted with a pout. He flopped his hands down, the one that was under Akaashi’s hand roaming up to tug at his hair in annoyance. Akaashi allowed his hand to fall with Bokuto’s, more concerned over the possibility of Bokuto getting into another funk. “I didn’t get a good glance at what they were doing. It was something to do with the lines on your palm meaning certain things about you. Like, one of the creases means something about your life, another is about fate, and there’s one connected to your heart too! It looked so cool, Kaashi. I wanted to tell you about yours.”

Akaash smiled, releasing his chopsticks. He was about to offer to read Bokuto’s palm to distract him, though he also had no ideas as to what the lines meant and where they were. He’d just speak from the heart and call it fate. Simple enough.

He went to raise his left hand, but found it stuck. Eyebrows shooting up, he glanced down between them to see Bokuto’s hand still on top of his, fingers curled ever so slightly around his, the pressure of his palm as light as a feather. Bokuto’s fingers tightened minutely and Akaashi stared, unblinking. His mouth went dry as he slowly pressed upward, finishing their connection. Bokuto’s palm felt warm and slightly sticky, likely from tiny bits of sauce that slid down his chopsticks. Akaashi wasn’t going to complain as he looked up at Bokuto, who turned as white as a ghost. How could Akaashi be floating on cloud nine and crash to the earth all in a single second?

Bokuto jerked back, falling off the window sill with a thud. His bento landed on the ground, food spilling out all over the ends of their pants and the ground surrounding them. Before Akaashi could process the sudden actions, Bokuto was on his knees, scraping up the food with his bare hands. His mouth ran so fast that Akaashi couldn’t bring himself to move, unable to focus on so much at once. 

“I-I didn’t mean to- Oh shoot! I’m sorry I read that wro- No, I mean!” Bokuto scrambled, dumping good unceremoniously into his bento. Akaashi bit the inside of his lip hard. “I didn’t notice my hand was trapping yours! So dumb of me, right?” 

Akaashi glanced down to his own hand, the warmth fading. It... was a mistake? Akaashi’s fingers curled as he brought his hand to his chest, embarrassment crushing down on his shoulders. His cheeks darkened enough that his cheeks felt inflamed, eyes burning as he stared at his lunch. It didn’t look appetizing anymore, even though he only got a few bites out of it. 

“Actually, I think that was part of the girl’s game, if I remember right. Yeah, they were doing that too! Yep!” Bokuto kept rambling, each word branding Akaashi with a scalding iron. “It was stupid. I’m stupid. I’m sorry, Kaash. ”

He paused for a brief moment in his clean up, hand frozen as he reached for another piece of dirty meat. His fingers flexed as he lost himself for a moment, but then he picked it up. Akaashi could barely hear the mutter that left Bokuto’s lips. “I just keep getting my hopes up.”

Akaashi knew that feeling all too well. A bitter taste coated his tongue as Akaashi got a tight grip on his bento, then stood up, not wanting to have his all across the ground as well. He didn’t want to be there any longer than he had to be.  
  


“I.” That’s all that came out. Bokuto didn’t stop moving. He didn’t even pause to look up at Akaashi after the choked word left his throat. Even so, Akaashi won’t have looked him in the eyes if he did. He refused to move his gaze away from his trembling hands. Unable to force more pathetic, fake words of assurance, he took off down the hallway and back to his class. The bell rang the moment he reached the door. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you once more for reading! And thank you for commenting and leaving kudos, it really makes our day! Art is once again from Konerrupine!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After receiving bad advice from the setters in the previous chapter, Akaashi takes matters into his own hands by continuing to take bad advice from the setters!

Akaashi was beginning to hate himself for missing practices. He saw Komi in the hallway before the day ended and told him he felt unwell and wouldn’t be going. Komi tried to follow him and ask questions, but left when he heard someone calling for him. 

He slipped out of the school yard when most of the other students did, hiding amongst the crowd in fear of being found by a teammate and dragged to practice. He didn’t think he could face them. There wasn’t a chance he’d be on his a-game, so there wasn’t a point in him being there, he reasoned. It was a poor excuse, but it was enough for him. He couldn’t face Bokuto so soon after he mistook Bokuto’s innocent mess up for him possibly feeling something toward him. Akaashi sniffled, whipping his nose with his coat sleeve as he turned a corner on the road. He just prayed Bokuto didn’t realize that he wasn’t trying to free his hand when he pressed up against it. He wanted to hold his hand. He really wanted to. 

As he walked home, he messaged the setter squad and updated them about his afternoon. He described how he fed Bokuto, how their hands touched, and then how it all came crashing down. He had to wipe his eyes angrily when he was done. 

It took a good two hours of homework and wallowing in self pity on his bedroom floor until someone got out of practice to read the messages. 

[7:00] Oikawa: Are you sure he wasn’t playing it off as an accident? He could have been shy and thought he messed up

[7:00] Oikawa: He looks like he’d be confident, but he could be nervous around you like that. A lot of guys are like that actually, like Iwa-chan~

[7:01] Oikawa: I mean… You guys have been friends for a while..?

[7:03] Kenma: Akaashi, are you free this weekend?

Akaashi frowned at the message, glancing at his calendar by his desk. His heart cheered upon seeing that it was Friday and he had the weekend to get over his heartbreak. 

[7:05] Akaashi: Yes, why?

[7:06] Kenma: We are going somewhere. I’ll come get you tomorrow at 5.

[7:11] Akaashi: Did a new game release or something?

[7:23] Akaashi: Kenma?

Akaashi set his phone down. A notification came in, but it wasn’t from the group chat. He watched as Bokuto’s name came across the screen followed by a few little messages.

[7:25] Bokuto: Komi said you weren’t feeling well.

[7:25] Bokuto: Feel better soon. If you need anything just give me a call and I’ll be right over, okay?

Akaashi didn’t respond, decicing to leave Bokuto on 'read'. He marked his calendar and then proceeded to watch videos on his phone until it was late. Right before he fell asleep, he was sent another message. 

[9:25] Bokuto: I missed you at practice. 

He closed his eyes tight, burying his head in his pillow. 

  
  


Akaashi hung out with Kenma occasionally. They didn’t live too far, nothing that couldn’t be solved. He mostly was dragged out to help Kenma get a game, being the one talking during the purchase in Kenma’s stead. Afterwards, they’d eat and talk, or Akaashi would be leaning over Kenma’s shoulder, watching him get engrossed in his new game. 

One thing that was consistent in their hangouts was the fact that Kenma always arrived late. He walked slow and took his time, so Akaashi usually got ready to leave an hour after he was told to be. Saturday was different. His doorbell rang three minutes before 5, and panic shot up his spine. He threw on a coat and socks, then opened the door to greet his friend. He didn’t look at the door swung open, instead rushing to jam his shoes on, hopping awkwardly on a foot. When he looked up again, his breath caught in his throat. 

Kenma wasn’t standing there. Instead, it was Kuroo, the captain of the Nekoma team. He gave Akaashi a wave, a smirk washing over his face upon seeing the frazzled teen. “Hey, Kaashi. Ready to go?”

His eyebrow twitched at the sound of one of his many nicknames being used by someone he hardly knew.

“Go?” Akaashi muttered as he forced his shoes on. He followed Kuroo out his door, fingers trailing against the door frame. His confusion melted a little when he spotted Kenma sitting outside the door on the stoop. Kuroo nudged him up, then allowed the setter to take the lead down the path and to the sidewalk. “Where are we going?”

“Did he not tell you what’s up?” Kuroo asked with a laugh. He looked to Kenma, as if expecting an answer, but received none. He seemed satisfied with being blatantly ignored, turning back to Akaashi. “Kenma said we were going to have a double date! We are watching a movie.”

Akaashi stumbled over his own feet at the claim. Cheeks darkening, he pressed his lips together tight. “A-Ah, I see. I really should leave then. We can hang out another time-”

Just as Akaashi was about to turn and run home, Kuroo’s hand jutted out and grasped his wrist. He gasped at the tight pain it caused, but the middle blocker didn’t bat an eye as he continued strolling a foot or two behind Kenma. 

“He told me you guys aren’t an item yet.” Or ever, Akaashi thought, vivid images of the day before crossing his mind. “Bokuto and I were planning to hang out today, but he was acting weird yesterday during our call. Kenma overheard and later suggested we all chill together and he seemed all for it. Well, if anything, he seemed a bit nervous, but better than the Bokuto I was first talking to.”

Akaashi despised the tone in Kuroo’s voice, as if he was baiting him. He kind of was. “I’m sure Kenma has told you about all this then?”

“Not at all.” Kuroo grinned, folding his arms behind his head, oozing confidence that Akaashi could only dream about possessing outside the court. Akaashi raised an eyebrow at Kenma, but upon meeting his gaze, he understood. What is said in the chat, stays in the chat. A seed of relief began to grow in Akaashi’s chest, though it was being overwhelmed with the thought of seeing Bokuto again. His hands moved up toward his hair, running through it in an attempt to look more presentable. “I trust my boyfriend to know what he’s doing though.”

Kenma crossed the street, not glancing both ways before making his journey. Kuroo reached out to grab the back of his hood just in case, but let the setter continue to walk once he assessed there was no danger around. 

“So, a movie?” Akaashi questioned, putting his hands down. 

“Yeah. We thought it would be the best way to show you how to interact with Bokuto.”

“How to,” Akaashi paused, “interact with him? I’ve been doing that since we met a year and a half ago.”

Kuroo nodded, though he didn’t seem to consider any of Akaashi’s words, already intending on expanding on his thoughts. “You know how to interact with him as a friend, and now anything else you try likely feels like a friend thing, or could be confusing him. I want you to watch Kenma and I tonight and copy us. If you follow our lead, there’s no way he could misinterpret your actions.”

The rest of the walk to Bokuto’s house was relatively quiet. Akaashi practiced deep breathing techniques to ease himself into the situation he was about to walk into. Occasionally, he’d glance over to see Kuroo leaning over Kenma’s shoulder, or picking a stray leaf from the other's hair. It comforted him a little to see the two. They were both different, but they looked like a pair, even if they weren’t clinging to each other. It gave him hope that he wouldn’t feel like an awkward third wheel along with Bokuto. 

Did Bokuto know this was a double date? Could he call it as such? Akaashi shook his head, an aggravated sigh passing his lips as Kuroo pushed the gate to Bokuto’s house open. The yard was well kept beside several yard toys and a few volleyballs lying around. Akaashi had been there enough to know that that was a norm. 

The moment Kuroo reached for the door, it flung open. Bokuto was quick to step aside, eyes gleaming as he welcomed everyone into his home with a voice loud enough to shake the neighborhood. Kenma flicked off his shoes, then headed to the kitchen without a second glance. Kuroo followed him in, giving Bokuto a hug. “Bo-bro! Are you ready for this?”

“Ready as ever! This is going to go great!” Bokuto exclaimed, pumping his fist in the air. He then faced Akaashi, and some of his energy drained out, closing in on himself. His feet shuffled as he brought a hand to his neck, rubbing the skin roughly with the palm of his hand. Akaashi felt the same jitters as he gave his friend a little nod. Bokuto clasped his hands together, his skin tinged red. Akaashi wondered how warm his friend was, especially upon entering the house. Why was the air inside so cold? Did Bokuto shut off the heating? Did he know how to turn it on?

“Aka, I’m happy you came!” Bokuto sputtered, his smile going wonky as his hands fell back to his sides. “I’m really sorry abo-”

“Bo!” Kuroo shouted suddenly. “I forgot, where is the popcorn again?”

Akaashi thanked Kuroo mentally for cutting him off, not ready to have a talk about the lunch incident. He hoped Bokuto forgot about it, but it was a foolish thing to wish for. 

Bokuto’s shoulders lifted, attention diverted as Akaashi took off his shoes and set them neatly aside. “I already have it made! I got a little excited waiting for h- us! I mean, you guys, not us! Uh, I also brought as many blankets down as I could find.” 

“Perfect,” Kuroo cooed, watching as Kenma exited the kitchen with a glass of water. Akaashi followed Kenma, letting the other two take their time. He took a seat beside Kenma on the big couch in the living room and admired the two large bowls of popcorn on the coffee table along with a few bags of candy. There was a huge pile of blankets right underneath the table in desperate need of folding.

Kenma put away his game, his elbow brushing Akaashi’s side as he moved. Kuroo soon entered, sending them both a wide smile before moving right in front of them. “Hey, scoot over a bit, Kaashi.”

Akaashi blinked, but shifted toward the other end of the couch despite Kenma having a large gap on the other side of him. Kuroo plopped down, spreading his knees out to the sides and his upper arms along the back, his forearms dangling. Akaashi scowled and scooted more until he was well and out of the space Kuroo obviously needed. 

He turned to look back at the blank TV in front of them, noticing Bokuto walking over slowly, eyes trained on Kuroo. As if a light bulb went off in his head, he pounced on the other end of the couch, fitting himself snug between the couch arm and Akaashi’s already squashed body. Kuroo took the remote from the table and turned the TV on, going to the Netflix app on the sidebar as Kenma grabbed a blanket from underneath the table. Akaashi watched them if only to not make eye contact with Bokuto, but the moment he met Kenma’s gaze, he remembered their plan. He observed Kenma as he cuddled up into his blanket and sent him an expectant look.

Clearing his throat, he leaned forward and grabbed a white, knitted blanket. He was about to pull it close, but paused when Bokuto nudged his shoulder. “Wait, grab my blanket!” 

Akaashi dropped the one in his hands, instead reaching further until he grabbed the blanket Bokuto always had on his bed. He handed over the grey blanket, then went back to taking the white one. Before he could get far, he heard Bokuto pipe up once more. “This blanket is pretty big. We can share it… if you want.”

His fingers twitched. Bokuto was hugging the blanket close, the fabric bunched in his hands. If it was stretched out, they’d easily fit under it without even grazing their shoulders. Akaashi hoped Bokuto would hog it, if only for the fact he could be right against him. He snapped from his thoughts to look at his guides for help. From the corner of his eye, he could see Kuroo nodding his head. If that wasn’t a big enough hint, Kuroo’s foot stretched out, effectively kicking the white blanket far from Akaashi’s reach. Akaashi’s cheeks puffed out in slight irritation, but then remembered he was going to share with Bokuto and dropped it. Leaning back, Akaashi gave Bokuto a nod of his own, trying to calm his breathing as Bokuto grinned, throwing the blanket over the both of them. 

Kuroo finally selected a movie, one that had Bokuto practically vibrating with excitement, fingers curling around the fabric of the blanket. Akaashi, on the other hand, began to sit up right away. “A horror movie? I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“It is,” Kuroo claimed, waving off his concerns, “Bokuto has been wanting to see this since forever.”

Akaashi bit his lip, but refrained from saying anything else, especially with Bokuto moving almost impossibly closer to him, bouncing in his spot. “Don’t worry! If you get scared, I’ll protect you!”

Kuroo grinned at Bokuto’s claim, then nudged Kenma. “You too. If you get scared, I’ll protect you.”

Kenma gave him a nine yard stare. “We will see about that.”

The movie was about zombies. Or aliens. It was about something scary, but Akaashi couldn’t figure out what it was for the life of him. He was too focused on watching the couple out of the corner of his eyes while also avoiding shivering whenever he felt Bokuto’s breath tickling his neck. It felt awkward sitting right up, blanket draped over his lap while his arms were attacked by the cold air in the room. Bokuto’s leg and shoulders were almost uncomfortably squished against him and he was dying to adjust, but couldn’t figure out how. 

Unrelated to whatever was playing on screen, Akaashi let out a shiver to release the cold chill in his bones. Bokuto’s attention snapped from the TV at that, eyes gazing over his form before he moved the blanket. He lifted it over their heads, adjusting it until the blanket was perched on their shoulders and their view of the TV was back. Bokuto leaned back, content. Akaashi wanted to protest the change, his legs undoubtedly going to be cold sooner or later, but then he realized the blanket felt heavier than it should have. He tensed. It didn’t take an idiot to know Bokuto had his arm very loosely around his shoulders. Well, that or the back of the couch, but Akaashi wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. And he most certainly wasn’t going to check or even spare a look toward Bokuto.

Kenma moved after ten minutes. He tilted his head until it rested against Kuroo, the rest of his body turning to curl up beside the man who still was taking up way too much space. Kuroo fluidly threw an arm around Kenma’s shoulder, an action that wouldn’t have been noticed if Akaashi wasn’t focusing hard on the couple. 

Akaashi curled his hands into fists, then did his attempt of mimicry. He slowly leaned closer to Bokuto, hoping he’d remain looking as unbothered as Kuroo did. He waited expectantly to find Bokuto’s shoulder, but it was a bit difficult when he was refusing to look in that direction entirely. 

When he finally touched Bokuto, it wasn’t his shoulder. Instead of being like Kenma, who was still relatively upright, Akaashi was at a 45 degree angle, cheeks on fire as he found himself leaning completely against Bokuto’s reclined chest, head almost in the crook of his neck. His arms tensed, Bokuto unmoving as if he didn’t notice the sudden weight of his setter on half of his body. He couldn’t see Kenma from where he was laying, but he caught the small smirk on Kuroo’s lips as he turned and whispered to Kenma. He wanted to kick him. 

Bokuto shifted, pinned between the corner of the arm and the back of the couch, but didn’t say anything as he dropped his arm from the back of the couch. The blanket fell on Akaashi, covering most of his body. Bokuto’s arm followed, resting along Akaashi’s back. 

Akaashi really didn’t know what was going on in the movie anymore, too distracted by Bokuto’s hand, fingers drumming and tracing random patterns on Akaashi, attention mostly on the screen. He could feel the other’s chest rising and falling beneath his hand and cheek, and shuddered at the hiccup Bokuto released as he swallowed dryly. Akaashi tried to tilt his head once more to gain a better view at Kenma. In the end, he just ended up nuzzling against Bokuto, something that made his blood burn in his veins, hands twitching in embarrassment. He mentally scolded himself, forcing himself to not cover his face to hide his red stained cheeks. 

Akaashi jumped as a loud scream filled the air. It was high pitched and grated on his ears, and he was about to tell Kuroo to shut up when Bokuto screeched in return. His legs jumped up and almost hit Akaashi, who jerked away in shock. Kuroo squeaked in return, slapping his hands over his eyes to guard himself from the image on screen. Akaashi dodged Bokuto’s flailing limbs, almost falling off the couch in his hurry to avoid getting hit and also access what caused the chaos to erupt.

His eyes darted about the room, but then his gaze landed on the TV. There was a girl crying on the screen, cradling a bloody hand as a large man wearing a mask loomed over her, cackling. His eyebrows raised as he watched the blood drip onto the cement floor. It was the same consistency as ketchup. “Bokuto-san, Kuroo-san, you may be overreacting…” 

“She just got her fingernails pried off by Blood Face!” Kuroo howled, shaking his head. Kenma covered his ears, sending his boyfriend a look that had Akaashi’s skin crawling. He caught Akaashi staring and let out the most tired sigh he ever heard. He was almost impressed. 

“Y-You aren’t s-scared?” Bokuto whimpered. Akaashi almost gasped when he saw Bokuto had adjusted into a new position in seconds. Now he was sitting upright, back erect, with the blanket draped over his head to block out the world around him. He could only see part of Bokuto’s foot sticking out of the blanket. Akaashi poked his sock, then watched as Bokuto jerked back, a whine falling past his throat. 

“Every fucking time, Kuroo. I told you we could just watch Tangled again, but no, you had to try and be a big shot again…” Kenma turned the volume down on the TV, eyebrow twitching. 

“I-I can handle the movie!” Kuroo complained, though he looked like he was saying the exact opposite. “You are the one who is too scared to continue!”

Akaashi watched as Kenma reluctantly tugged Kuroo up and guided him to the kitchen, all the while quietly berating him for being so foolish. Once they disappeared behind the door, Akaashi took a deep breath in. 

Akaashi scooted over a little to give Bokuto a bit more space. Once he was settled, he faced the mound of grey on the couch that was still besides a few quivers. He schooled the amused smile on his lips as he waited to see if Bokuto would willingly come out. After waiting a minute, he decided to try and calm him down, the movie affecting him way more than he originally thought. He raised his hand to the fabric, mocking a knock. “Anyone home?”

“Just me.” Bokuto mumbled from inside. “Is it turned off?” 

Akaashi reached over to Kenma’s old spot and pressed the power button on the remote. “Yes.” 

Bokuto didn’t move. Akaashi guessed he didn’t trust him to be telling the truth, but within a minute, Bokuto lifted up a small corner of the blanket. “You can come in.” 

Akaashi lifted the blanket and slowly crawled under. Bokuto sat with his knees to his chest, arms around them to keep himself tucked up tight. Akaashi settled, kneeling on the couch with his back arched down to meet Bokuto’s height. Golden eyes met his own. 

“I promise I am braver than this,” Bokuto pouted, then glared down at his knees, “I would have protected you if it was real.” 

Akaashi wanted nothing more than to take a picture of Bokuto’s pout, but refrained. He, however, couldn’t stop the smile creeping on his face, heart fluttering with adoration at Bokuto’s claim. “I know, Bokuto-san. You are my hero.”

That comment had Bokuto’s eyes twinkling once more, his body leaning close to Akaashi as he breathed, “I am?”

Akaashi gave him a nod, biting his cheek to suppress the wider grin growing across his cheeks upon seeing his teammate practically glowing. Bokuto noticed Akaashi’s expression, turning bashful as he scratched at his neck. Once Akaashi managed to get a reign on himself, Bokuto spoke, voice quiet even in the silent living room. “Can I ask you something?”

Akaashi sat up, ready to answer. His mind was already running with ways of convincing Bokuto that Blood Face wasn’t actually real. “Of course.”

Bokuto breathed out deeply, closing his eyes tight. Akaashi recognized that look and steeled himself, ready for a rant. It was most likely going to still be about Blood Face though, so he had the upper hand in this conversation in his eyes. “I’ve been confused lately and it involves you. I don’t mean to make you feel weird when I touch you, and wanted to know if there were times it was okay. Like, if I should only do high fives from now on. Or, I guess, if it's okay to ask, why hugging you the other day and touching your hand wasn't fine, but today cuddling was okay. I know some things fly over my head, and I don't mean to miss them, but it happens anyways and I don't want to make you feel bad for me being stupid. I don't ever want you to be uncomfortable around me, but I keep messing up and I know I am.”

Akaashi froze. Of all the answers he was coming up with in his head, none of them were about himself. Akaashi’s eyebrows furrowed, trying to catch up with Bokuto’s train of thought while also knowing Bokuto never responded well to delayed answers. “Did I ever say I wasn’t fine with it?”

“No!” Bokuto exclaimed, frustration rising in his voice. “But you always tense up or don’t look at me, and I don’t know what else it could be. The absence of no doesn’t mean yes.”

Akaashi stared at him for a good while. He thought back to when he was hugged in the gym, and when Bokuto touched his hand during lunch. He recalled how his heart skipped a beat, and how he had to make a conscious effort to breathe when Bokuto smiled at him. He didn’t realize his hesitations and nerves were taken in such a horrible direction. Then again, he wasn’t exactly upfront with things when it came to how he was feeling, his words always dying in his throat whenever a situation arose.

Akaashi slowly reached out and grabbed hold of Bokuto’s hand. It was just as warm as the other day, and his fingers curled around it tight, leaving Bokuto with no choice but to accept the behavior. Though he could feel his nerves wanting to shut down, unable to process and take in the fact he was holding Bokuto’s hand and it was alright, he ran his thumb along the top of Bokuto’s hand.

“This is okay,” Akaashi said, lips pressing in a tight line as he reached over and grabbed Bokuto’s other hand. Before he could hold it, Bokuto broke free of his grip. Akaashi watched with bated breath as Bokuto’s cheeks turned pink, eyes flickering back and forth from multiple points before he placed his hand on Akaashi’s shoulder. The touch was as light as a feather, but trembled as it floated there. Akaashi let out a small huff, a smile easing on his lips as he nodded. “Yes, that’s okay. I’m not fragile either.”

Bokuto set his hand down firmly. He remained there, eyes searching Akasshi’s for something. Akaashi allowed him to stare, maintaining eye contact as best as he could. With a big breath sucked in, Bokuto moved his hand along Akaashi’s collar bone, fingers dancing at his neck before it trailed up and settled, cupping Akaashi’s cheek. 

Akaashi stilled, but made no move to pull away, focusing all his energy on keeping the blush on his ears from creeping over his face and also making sure his smile was intact. He wanted Bokuto to be certain his words were the truth, but that didn’t mean his gut reaction to hide himself from his intense gold stare wasn’t trying to convince him out of it. He hoped Bokuto couldn’t see how clammy his hands had become. 

Bokuto tilted his head, a wonky grin finally spreading across his features. Akaashi’s heart fluttered as Bokuto leaned forward, nervous laughter escaping him. When he managed to collect himself from his giggle fit he glanced up, so close to Akaashi’s face that he could feel his small pants for breath. He rocked forward, almost brushing their foreheads together. Akaashi chuckled a bit in return at his odd behavior, but it ceased when he saw Bokuto’s grin change to a tender smile. His eyes were focused solely on Akaashi, no longer darting around or glancing away every few seconds. 

“Kaashi, I... I don't know if I messed up before. I guess... I keep assuming things, that's what Kuro says at least- Uh, I mean... I think I… No, scratch that. I want you to tell you-” A loud voice from outside the blanket cut him off.  
  
“Alright!” Their warm cocoon of stale air and protection was ripped away. Suddenly, they were back in the dimly lit living room, the stench of popcorn filling their noses like rancid meat. The hand resting on Akaashi’s cheek jerked back as Bokuto scrambled away, eyes wide as if he was caught with his hands inside the cookie jar. Kuroo laughed, wrapping the blanket around his arm. It was odd to see Kuroo with his shoulders straight and chest puffed out after he was practically shaking in his boots less than five minutes ago. “Enough of that, lovebirds!” 

“Enough?” Bokuto muttered, eyebrows furrowing before they shot up quickly. He brought his hands up, shaking his head quickly as if he did it enough that Kuroo would believe his every word. “W-We were just talking!”

“He’s right,” Akaashi assisted, still adjusting to the new room. A part of him was scowling inside for being interrupted, but a bigger part of him was trying to shoot himself for being caught in such a position by Kuroo. His bed head was probably filled with ideas of what was happening, misinterpreting their actions and thinking-... Akaashi frowned, turning to stare at Bokuto, who still was floundering around. No, Kuroo wasn’t going to be misinterpreting it. Or, at least, Akaashi hoped. He began to tug at his fingers until he felt a dull pain near his knuckles, teeth gritting down on the inside of his cheek.

Kuroo raised an eyebrow, glancing between them. He waited for a moment, then crossed his arms. That simple action made him almost look more serious about getting a clear answer from Akaashi, but the gesture was enough to have Bokuto babbling. A gross feeling akin to slurping down sewage welled in Akaashi’s chest as Bokuto stood from the couch, “Oh hush! We aren’t like you and Kenma!” 

Akaashi recalled Kuroo and Kenma earlier. He remembered how Kenma cuddled up to his partner, and how touch seemed natural and unforced between them, like two trains, moving on their own, yet heading in the same direction. It was a far cry from where he was, coaching Bokuto on how they should touch. 

Bokuto and Akaashi were two trains on completely different tracks. Akaashi was heading slowly one way while Bokuto moved erratically. He couldn’t tell where the spiker was going, but it didn't entirely seem to be the destination Akaashi was hoping for. 

“I’m going to get some water,” Akaashi mumbled, standing up and snaking past Kuroo. Kenma was in the doorway, a frown settled on his lips as he stared at the two silent boys in the living room, no longer arguing upon seeing Akaashi leave in a rush. Kenma followed after him, resting a hand on Akaashi’s back. 

“I told Kuroo to leave you be,” Kenma grumbled under his breath. Akaashi took a glass down from the cupboard, holding it close in fear of his shaky hands losing their grip. He felt Kenma’s hand rubbing his back, regretting letting him continue the comforting action. It only served to remind him how close he was to Bokuto and how much he enjoyed how his hand felt against his spine. Akaashi was certain the gesture could lull him into a peaceful sleep in minutes, but now the action was triggering his freeze response. 

“You heard him, right?” He didn’t want to repeat Bokuto’s words, and was very relieved when Kenma nodded. “Then that’s it. We aren’t like that. ”

Kenma’s hand brushed against the hair on the back of his neck. The touch was comforting, but his facial expression screamed annoyance. He was likely still frustrated at Kuroo for jumping to conclusions and ruining the tender moment. “You aren’t, but that doesn’t mean you won’t be like Kuroo and me one day.”

“I doubt that.” Akaashi let out a humorless laugh. He filled his glass with water from the tap. 

“Kuroo isn’t completely dumb.” Kenma winced after the words left his lips, but he continued on with confidence. “He wouldn’t have said or interrupted anything if it was going bad. He must have thought things were going well under there.”

Akaashi’s lips pressed together in a thin line. “I… thought they were.”

“Then you just have to trust in that,” Kenma muttered, frustration dripping in his tone. Akaashi ignored it and held back a bitter laugh at Kenma’s suggestion. Kenma always was one for logical thought. He rarely came to a conclusion without cold, hard facts to back it up, but now he was blindly trusting something he didn’t even experience and is hoping for the best. 

“Kaashi! I’m sorry!” Bokuto called from the living room. Akaashi could easily imagine his pout. “You can pick the next movie!” 

“He’s trying to make it up to you,” Kenma noted, then headed for the door. Akaashi followed him, playing with his hands as he entered the living room again. Kuroo was sitting again, his legs closed so Akaashi could sit comfortably without touching either boy. He took his spot and snagged the white blanket from the ground, throwing the thick material around him. 

  
  


“But you are sure he wasn’t about to kiss you?”

“I appreciate you driving me to the practice game, but I don’t want to talk about this, Suga-san.” 

Akaashi leaned against the seat of Suga’s parents car, his duffle bag pressed to his chest. He woke up that morning to Suga practically breaking down the door to hear the ‘juicy’ details from last night, slightly jealous that Akaashi was following Kenma’s advice more than his own. He humored the upperclassmen as he went about his day, then tried to kick him out so he could head to school to catch the bus. 

“Nonsense, I’ll just drive you. Your game is closer to my school than here anyways,” Suga said, waving his hand in a way that told Akaashi there was no room for arguing.

He texted Bokuto about the change of plans, then tucked away his phone. To his relief, Suga drove cautiously and played relaxing music. He knew Suga’s true music taste was a lot raunchier than what he was being subjected to, but he knew to just accept this change with gratitude. 

“Kaash, I wouldn’t encourage you if I didn’t think you had a good chance,” Suga replied as he turned a corner. Akaashi could see the school they were playing against peering out over the trees. “And I know you know that. You don’t have that gay, panicked and worried expression from before. You are a lot more relaxed today, and it’s because you feel reassured.”

“I’m relieved that I haven’t messed up anything so far with Bokuto-san considering me a friend,” Akaashi hissed unintentionally, gripping his bag tightly, “he thought I was just uncomfortable with him touching me.”

“Yeah, and why would that fear rise so suddenly?” Suga pulled into the parking lot. Dread took over Akaashi’s expression as he saw Suga park and unbuckle his seatbelt. “Maybe it’s because he’s consciously making an effort to touch you now and is awkward about it because he feels like he’s crossing lines when in actuality he’s been doing those actions all along.”

Akaashi huffed, eyebrow twitching. “You sound like you have experience with this.”

Suga glanced at him, eyes steely. “Plenty.”

Akaashi paused at the grave tone, but then brushed it off. He unclipped his seatbelt and held his bag tight as he climbed out of the car. 

Suga followed Akaashi to the gym while sipping out of a thermos from his car, his eyes scanning the crowd as if looking for Waldo in a picture book. Akaashi rolled his eyes, guiding him to the bleachers wordlessly. The rest of the Fukurodani team were already setting their stuff down, Bokuto leading them with loud shouts of excitement. Komi spotted him standing by Suga, and pointed. Bokuto followed his gaze with a grin, but then stumbled mid-stretch. Akaashi stepped forward, as if he could stop Bokuto from tripping across the gym, but Bokuto caught himself and hurriedly made his way over.

He marched up, slinging an arm around Akaashi’s shoulders. Akaashi jutted forward under the sudden weight as Bokuto slouched against him. “Agakashi! You brought a friend?”

Akaashi nodded, gesturing to Suga with as much excitement as a kid with a stalk of celery. “Yes, this is-”

“I’m Suga. It’s so nice to meet you, Bokuto!” Suga greeted, holding out a hand. “Akaashi has told me so much about you.”

Bokuto shook Suga’s hand with a tight grip, his muscles tensing under the strain he put into it. Akaashi tensed upon noticing Suga’s eyes narrow, his smile turning less friendly and more vicious by the second. Bokuto’s arm fell from around Akaashi’s shoulders as he spoke for a moment more to the setter, then turned to Akaashi. “We are going to get started with some stretching. Come with me?”

“I will in a moment, Bokuto-san” Akaashi hummed. Bokuto pouted a little and sent Suga a final, indescribable look, then jogged off to where he was before. Akaashi watched him leave, then turned to Suga with a deadpan glare. “Are you staying, or leaving?”

“I mean,” Suga hummed, drumming his fingers on the side of his thermos, “I was intending to stay for awhile and think of a way to help you with your little Bokuto-san, but I think I now have an idea… I just need to figure out how to pull it off since you had to so rudely agreed to the claim I was 'just a friend'.”

Akaashi raised an eyebrow at Suga, who responded with a wink and a finger pressed to his lips in a cheeky way. “Rule one for figuring out if a boy likes you, Akaashi. If he gets jealous, chances are he wants your attention all to himself.”

“I don’t think I’m following.” Akaashi folded his arms over his chest as Suga rolled his eyes, then his gaze drifted. His lips quirked up as he side-glanced Akaashi, then looked back to whatever caught his eye.

“Akaashi, I promise with all my power that if you don’t do as I say, I will make you regret being born,” Suga threatened, voice as sweet as sugar. The hair on Akaashi’s neck stood on end, a shiver running down his spine as Suga leaned a little closer and mumbled, “Three o’clock.”

He bit his lip and turned his head to where Suga told him. His eyes widened in recognition when he spotted a familiar face walking over to them, head held high and smirk plastered on his face. His eyes were locked on Akaashi. 

Akaashi whipped around to face Suga. “No.”

It wasn’t the first time he saw Terushima. In fact, Akaashi made it his goal to try and avoid the spiker as much as possible after being hit on at a training camp last year. He forgot Suga knew about their history and likely had a plan brewing in his head as the Jozenji player walked over. 

Suga shook his head, taking hold of his shoulders and forcing him back to face the spiker. He leaned over his shoulder, whispering into Akaashi’s ear, “You want undeniable proof Bokuto likes you, right? Or doesn't like you?”

Akaashi bowed his head. “I, yes? But I don’t see how this could help.”

Suga shook his head, muttering something about ‘young love’ under his breath that made Akaashi frown. Pulling himself together, Suga shot him a blinding smile. “Here’s your chance. I’m not asking you to kiss him or something, you just need to flirt a little. I’ll make sure Bokuto notices.”

Akaashi fumbled with his words, trying hopelessly to wrench himself from Suga’s tight grasp. When he managed to free himself, he stumbled forward, almost knocking into Terushima, who lifted his arms to steady the uneasy setter. “Woah! Can’t have you getting hurt before the game! What would Fukurodani do without their star setter?”

Though the compliment wasn’t bad, Akaashi could already feel himself moving away, sneakers squeaking against the wood floor. Before he could excuse himself, his eyes drifted to the sidelines. He spotted Suga standing there with a peaceful look. Without a word, Suga raised a hand and made a cut motion across his throat. Akaashi quickly turned back to Terushima, who seemed pleased to regain his attention.

“You don’t have to be nervous,” Terushima assured, misunderstanding Akaashi’s jittery movements. He ran a hand through his golden blonde hair, sending his prey another dazzling smile. “I haven’t seen you in a while. I wanted to know if you wanted to go get ice cream after the game? You know, to catch up.”

Akaashi was certain he had a maximum of five conversations with Terushima, each being in a group or Akaashi walking away as Terushima followed and chatted, undisturbed by the setter ignoring him. However, explaining that to the spiker was only going to lead him to a painful death by Suga… He still didn’t want to accept though. 

“I’m not sure,” Akaashi admitted, knotting his fingers together. Terushima leaned forward, a glint in his eyes.

“How about a friendly wager?” Terushima hummed. “If we win this game, I will take you out to get ice cream and walk you to the train station.”

  
Akaashi bit his lip. He had confidence in his team, but the slight probability of losing was going to chew at him all throughout the game. He could picture himself sitting across from Terushima, who ceaselessly would compliment him or try and have Akaashi taste some of his ice cream. His eyes narrowed as he looked Terushima up and down, then wrinkled his nose in disgust. He looked like the type to enjoy rainbow sherbet. 

“No phone number required on my end either,” Terushima continued, throwing his hands up to show the deal was just that, cut and dry, “it would be completely your choice, Kaashi-kun.”

Akaashi ignored the wink thrown his way. He brought a hand to his chin in thought. If it was a bet, then he had to see what his reward would be. He doubted it would be worthwhile, but wanted at least something if he had to go through this. Akaashi opened his mouth to speak, but paused when an unpleasant thought crossed his mind. He could see Suga from the corner of his eyes again. He bit his tongue, but released it upon seeing his upperclassmen’s expectant gaze. With a tone too coated with honey to be his own, Akaashi fluttered his eyelashes, wincing at each bat. “But what if I win, Teru- _senpai_?”

Akaashi felt the urge to gag at the sound of the honorific, but Terushima seemed very pleased, grinning like he owned the court. He crossed his arms behind his head, getting comfy while Akaashi plotted how to make Terushima develop memory loss. He remembered reading somewhere that a blow to the head could help. Perhaps he could manipulate Bokuto somehow on the court and get him to spike a ball right to Terushima's face. He shook his head at the thought, dismissing his horrible thoughts. “Anything you desire. I always keep up my end of a deal. You could always reserve a favor from me, though nothing that could jeopardize my team winning in the future. They’d kill me for doing that again.”

  
Akaashi ignored that comment. 

“But yeah, you can keep your side of the deal in your pocket for a rainy day. I can give you my number and whenever you want to take me up on that offer for ice cream, or want to have a fun night out, just give me a ring.” 

He briefly wondered if he could have his side of the deal be to restrict Terushima from talking to him. Frowning, he turned his head to the side to give him time to formulate an answer. In the end, his bluntness won out, something he never seemed to have regarding his actual feelings. “Wouldn’t it be more effective to just ask me out on a date?”

“Not at all.” Terushima’s grin was unwavering, even when Akaashi’s head tilted, eyebrows furrowing. “If I asked, you’d say no. If it’s a bet, I can at least have a shot to show you I’m serious and deserve a chance.”

Akaashi paused. His cheeks warmed a little at the returned honesty. Terushima’s eyes locked onto the sight, but he didn’t mention the change in Akaashi’s expression. Instead, he unfolded his arms and reached over. He nudged his hand lightly against Akaashi’s cheek, mumbling out with a singsong tone in his voice, “And it’s more fun this way, right?”

Before Akaashi could respond, someone stepped into the corner of his vision. He tensed, praying it wasn’t Suga believing he was trying to be rude, but relaxed when he saw Bokuto’s familiar piercing gaze and spiked hair. 

“Kaashi!” Bokuto greeted, leaning forward to grab one of Akaashi’s hands. Terushima stared at the movement, his tongue piercing clinking against the back of his teeth audibly at Bokuto’s appearance. Akaashi looked up, ready to convince Bokuto to drag him off to do warm up’s, but paused when he got a good look at his spiker. 

Bokuto usually radiated kindness. He almost always had a grin and sparkly eyes. He looked as huggable as he was, and was eager to lift anyone up for any reason. There were rare occasions where he’d use tough love, but it would be followed immediately with guilt ridden affection and compliments. 

Bokuto didn’t have that same aura to him now. His eyes were half lidded in an expression that reminded Akaashi a bit too much of a mischievous Kuroo. However, instead of having Kuroo’s relaxed stance, he was tense, eyebrows drawn tight. He glared into Terushima’s eyes, unwavering. His grip tightened on Akaashi’s hand. If he didn’t know any better Akaashi would have advised Terushima to walk away, but he knew Bokuto wasn’t the type to make a huge fuss even if his expression screamed it.

“Did you forget we were going out after the game?” Bokuto questioned innocently, finally facing Akaashi. 

“We were?” Akaashi asked, scolding himself for getting too lost in his thoughts to forget he apparently made plans with Bokuto. Was it to study? Did Bokuto mention a test recently?

“We are.” Bokuto corrected curtly, shifting toward the other spiker. Akaashi stepped back as Bokuto’s arm grazed him, and simply watched the scene unfolding with curiosity. He gave him a wide grin. “Sorry, I don’t think Akaashi’s ever talked about you before. I’m Bokuto.”

“I’m aware,” Terushima chirped, unperbed. “Terushima.” 

“Pleasure to meet you.” Akaashi winced at the politeness spilling from Bokuto’s lips, his expression portraying the opposite. “We have to practice now though. Maybe we will see you around after the game some day.”

With that, Bokuto tugged Akaashi back to their side of the court. Akaashi didn’t miss Terushima exclaiming, “Nothing? Don’t want a good luck kiss?”

Bokuto squeezed Akaashi’s hand so hard that he could feel his knuckles pop. Akaashi expected a bigger reaction, but Bokuto continued on as if he didn’t hear a word, though nearly half the gym froze at the previous shout. When Bokuto finally got Akaashi on their side of the net, he dropped his hand. The rest of the Fukurodani team eyed them, then retreated briefly to the benches to get a drink of water. When Akaashi turned to check if Suga was around, he spotted the setter disappearing behind the gym door, waving goodbye from afar. It looked like he got the answer to whatever he was searching for. 

“That Teru guy seems kinda lame,” Bokuto sighed out, rolling his shoulders once, “right? It wasn’t cool of him at all to be bothering you like that.”

Akaashi refused to look in the general vicinity of the Jozenji team. He nodded along with Bokuto’s claim, the energy he drained while talking to Terushima slowly filtering back into his system. 

“Shi, right?” Bokuto urged after being greeted with silence. Akaashi frowned, but before he could mumble out in agreement, Bokuto hit himself on the side of the head. “Gah, sorry. You don’t need to answer. I’m not meaning to pressure you too.” 

“It’s fine, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi reassured, folding his hands together. 

“If he bugs you again, just call for me. I don’t get good vibes from that guy…” Bokuto glared over in the direction of the Jozenji team. Akaashi watched as Bokuto frowned deeply at something, his shoulder’s stiffening up. Akaashi reached forward to try and massage the tension out, a few words ready fall off his tongue to bring Bokuto’s spirits up, but they died when Bokuto’s hand jerked up and clasped his. 

“Bokuto-san?” Akaashi shivered. He felt a dull pain swelling in his wrist as Bokuto tugged him close. He stumbled forward, eyes scanning frantically to try and see a crack in Bokuto’s serious, almost angered expression. Though he put so much force in tugging Akaashi, he himself didn’t move an inch, eyes still glued to something across the gym. 

“He just keeps staring,” Bokuto grumbled as Akaashi finally stood with steady feet. He glanced up, lips parted as he caught the gasp echoing in his throat. Bokuto finally settled his eyes on Akaashi, who helplessly tried to grasp a hold on the situation. Akaashi tilted his head to the side to try and throw Terushima a warning glare, but before he could meet the spiker’s eyes, he felt a pressure on his cheek. 

Bokuto’s nose was mashed into his cheek bone, scrunching visibly from the corner of Akaashi’s eyes. His chin was against the edge of Akaashi’s jaw. He could feel the warmth radiating from Bokuto’s skin, and he could see the redness of his cheeks darkening for the three seconds he held himself there, eyes squeezed tight. When Bokuto jerked back, he let out a loud gasp for air, cheeks almost tinged purple before he squeaked out in one breath, “That’s your good luck kiss, okay?”

Akaashi remained frozen, eyes wide and heart racing out of control as Bokuto sped toward the benches. His fingers twitched, trying to tug at threads of reality. 

“Dude, did you just see that?”

“I think the captain of the Fukurodani team just headbutted their setter!” 

“... Is their setter okay? He’s just kinda.. Standing there…”

“Concussion?”

He could vaguely process the conversations he heard from the Johzenji team. Part of him wanted to simply answer, in complete confidence and a smug aura, “No, it was a kiss”, but he was also very much aware that he felt like he was choking on his own spit. 

He hadn’t expected his first kiss with Bokuto to be… that. Logically, it didn’t make sense to fantasize about getting an on-court kiss since Bokuto was only focussed on volleyball before their games, not feelings. He also didn’t anticipate it to be a direct effect of him talking to a spiker from the team they were facing. Akaashi also didn’t take into account that he had no clue if Bokuto ever kissed someone before or if he simply believed pressing his entire face against Akaashi’s was needed in order for it to be called a kiss. 

Either way, Akaashi was thriving. Collecting himself, he finally met eyes with Terushima and gave him a smirk before turning and heading to the bench as well. He felt like he was floating above the wood boards as his team got into a huddle and cheered for their victory. 

As he headed to his spot on the court, Bokuto walked up beside him. Akaashi looked away, feeling his cheeks warming. He didn’t know if he could look the other in the eye after what happened minutes ago, but he knew that by the end of the game his nervous sweating and rapid heartbeat would feel natural and he’d be normal again.

“Hey, hey,” Bokuto whispered, “we good?”

Akaashi didn’t trust his voice, lungs feeling as light as a feather as he nodded. Bokuto let out a sigh, shoulders relaxing as he sped over to his spot on the court. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thanks for leaving kudos and comments, they are very much appreciated!!!  
> It's very fun to hear your questions and theories as it helps Kon and I edit a little bit of each chapter in order to help you guys get a better picture of what is happening beyond Akaashi's obliviousness, lol. 
> 
> Art is once again by Kon. It's so cute. Save me. 
> 
> Thank you once again, see you next week !


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akaashi takes matters into his own hands and decides to confess to Bokuto himself. Who needs Oikawa's weird rules anyways?

Bokuto kept him back ten minutes in the changing room, apologizing relentlessly when he realized they didn’t have any after practice plans. He insisted on walking Akaashi home, but got a call from his mother to pick up some groceries. Akaashi left as Bokuto mumbled responses into the receiver, jotting down the shopping list.

On his way home, Akaashi texted Suga to recount all that had happened to make sure he wasn’t imagining things. He was still high in the clouds, exuding contentment from having spent the hour drive home with Bokuto sleeping on his shoulder, hugging Akaashi’s closest arm to his chest. When he shook Bokuto awake, he blinked owlishly up at Akaashi, then gave him a lopsided, big smile, “Hi.’

“Hello, Bokuto-san,” He had greeted in return, plucking one of the earbuds from Bokuto’s ear so he could hear him better. Bokuto scrunched up his shoulders before releasing the tension with a loud yawn. 

“You are warm,” Bokuto cooed longingly, but followed Akaashi out of the bus a minute later, swaying on his feet from leftover grogginess. Still feeling high off the team’s win and his personal win, Akaashi rolled Bokuto’s sleeves down to help stave off the cold. 

Akaashi smiled at the memory.

[8:23] Akaashi: It worked, i think. It went better than any other time.

[8:26] Suga: I told you he liked you. No one gets that jealous unless they are interested

Akaashi didn’t feel the same nip of uncertainty that usually plagued him.

[8:27] Akaashi: I think you were right all along. Well, you were right this time, not about the throwing it back thing earlier.

[8:30] Suga: It’s as my mama always said- use it or lose it. 

[8:31] Suga: So what else happened? Did he ask you out? That would be sooo cute!! Uh, it would be cute if he did that but only if you guys won. Otherwise it would be a bit awkward. 

[8:33] Akaashi: … No, not really. But he did kiss me

[8:35] Suga: With tongue?

Akaashi stumbled in his step, tripping over a crack in the sidewalk. He braced his hands out and caught himself before his face slammed against the concrete. His phone skittered across the ground a few feet, then collided with a fence. With bright red cheeks, he glanced around the street to see if anyone saw his blunder. Upon being met with nothing but empty street, he dusted off his phone, admiring the perfectly intact screen. His palms stung.

[8:35] Akaashi: Cheek kiss.

[8:35] Suga: Oop.

[8:36] Suga: Then it’s a good thing he didn’t use his tongue! So, any plans on how to finish this off?

Akaashi bit the inside of his cheek. His house came into view, but he didn’t feel ready to go into his warm, brightly lit home. It felt like the conversation, no longer masked by the darkness of night aside from some street lamps, would fade out. He clutched his phone, remembering the warm kiss he got earlier before the Jozenji match, and pushed open the gate to his yard.

[8:39] Akaashi: I don’t really know. I don’t know how to make it more obvious right now unless I confess and that’s against the rules, right?

[8:41] Suga: … rule?

[8:42] Akaashi: You can’t date someone if they don’t ask you out, remember?

Akaashi closed the gate behind him, securing the little latch as he stared at his phone.

[8:43] Suga: Right. Well, I mean. Like. 

[8:43] Suga: Bokuto doesn’t seem like the type to you know

[8:44] Suga: Maybe you should take the reins on this one. I won’t tell Oiks if you break his rules. Besides, with the way things are going, you two will get together. Just is a matter of sooner or later, and I think if you did it, it’d be sooner. 

Akaashi froze, his hand hovering over the knob to his front door. A thousand thoughts crossed his mind, but they were hushed immediately. There wasn’t a chance he read that right. He laughed to himself, strained and taut before rereading the message, whispering the words to himself for the sake of clear comprehension. 

Suga wanted him to break the rules. The rules set that everyone was meant to follow. The ones plaguing Akaashi’s mind day and night as he was pulled around like a dog on a leash throughout all their suggestions. He fumbled with his phone, fingers beginning to move on their own as a nervous habit. 

Did Suga really think he was so hopeless he had to have an advantage over everyone else playing the same game of love? He could feel the bubbly giddiness draining out of him.

He resisted the urge to sink to his knees and stare at his phone for several minutes. Instead, he placed his hand on the door and took a shaky breath. Everything he had done thus far had been partially scripted by the others and had provided him decent enough results that he, before receiving Suga’s last message, really thought that maybe things would work out. To get rid of the rules meant he’d be stranded on his own. He didn’t know if he could do that. The rules built up his plans so much, they were the backbone keeping the spine of his plots from breaking in two.

[8:456] Akaashi: … I don’t think I’d be able to ask him directly. 

[8:46] Suga: And I don’t think he’d be able to ask you directly.

Akaashi’s heart burned in his chest. 

[8:50] Suga: Can you keep a secret?

[8:51] Suga: Daichi was honestly the worst before we started dating. If I so much as nudged him, he’d get soooo flustered. I literally said stuff like how people like him were my type, I complimented him to hell and back, and, yes, threw it back for a real one.

[8:52] Suga: I asked him out because I was getting grey hairs from the stress of him not making a move. 

Akaashi’s fingers twitched against the keyboard, creating a messy text of random consonants. Suga didn’t follow the rules Oikawa made. Did Oikawa know? No, that’s why it was a secret. His thumb tapped on the side of his phone and he bit his lip. 

He didn’t buy it. Suga was never one to push the rules like Oikawa, but he wouldn’t break them. He always was the model setter of the chat, managing to snag Daichi a week after admitting his crush, and always helping the others out no matter the problems that they had. He was right beside Oikawa in teasing Kenma and him about the rules of dating. Akaashi couldn’t imagine him actually deciding to forgo the rules without at least mentioning it to someone or asking them to change the rules. It wasn’t fair. It didn’t make sense. 

Akaashi’s brain hurt. He didn’t want to be mad at Suga, either for lying to him right now or about breaking the rules, but he could feel something boiling under his skin. The feeling of wasted time and potential rose in Akaashi’s throat as he remembered all he had done to only just now possibly catch Bokuto’s eye. All the embarrassment and hopeless attempts that now seemed pointless. He breathed in a deep breath to cool himself down as he messaged the one thing he knew for certain. 

[8:56] Akaashi: I don’t know.

He darted inside and up to his room without bothering to greet his parents. He set down his school bag on his desk and began to pull out his homework to try and distract himself. Burying himself in his worksheets, he steered his thoughts away from Bokuto and Suga’s confession. Still, between questions on his pages, he was clicking his pen mercilessly.

Evaluate the function. f(-4)= [x^2+5]. 

He remembered helping Bokuto with this kind of problem last year. His teeth clinked together as the name passed his mind. No. Focus.

Sketch the graph of the function below. 

Akaashi pulled out some graph paper from his desk to do a beginning sketch before translating a polished one onto his homework sheet. He pulled out a half-used sheet and turned it over, tensing when he saw a scribble in the corner written in lime green ink. 

“Akaashi, make sure to take a study break soon! :D”

He crumpled the paper in his hands, biting his lip harshly as he threw it into the waste basket under his desk. Even when he was away from everyone, Bokuto somehow was still there. 

It took him longer than ever to finish his sheets, and when he did, he reached for his phone. He needed to check something.

[10:41] Akaashi: Did you follow the rule? Where you have to be asked out by someone in order to date them?

Akaashi resisted the urge to pull his hair out as he waited, not wanting to respond to the few messages he got from Suga in the meantime. He sat on his bed, staring at the screen until three dots appeared, showing Kenma was typing. A breath of relief escaped him, pleased to be receiving an answer right away. Kenma must be heading off to bed, which meant Akaashi could probably hold him in the conversation for a max of ten minutes. That was enough. He only needed one answer, possibly another if it quelled his fast beating heart. 

[10:53] Kenma: ? 

[10:54] Kenma: The rule things Oikawa did? I thought he was joking. No, I asked Kuroo out.

[10:54] Kenma: … Well, kinda. I gave him a confession note and then he asked me out to the arcade. Got tired of waiting. 

Akaashi dropped his phone back onto his sheets. Annoyance crept into his system upon knowing he could have ended his stupid pining long ago if he knew he was allowed to walk up to Bokuto and just confess. He wasn’t privy to the others breaking the rules, remaining just as in the dark as Oikawa while they did what they pleased.

What good friends he had, to constantly be convincing him of radical ways to get his crush to ask him out, and yet be concealing the easiest way because of what? Possibly having to deal with a bitchy Oikawa? Did they not trust him enough and that’s why they didn’t say anything until now? 

Akaashi rubbed a hand on his face, tugging at the skin below his eyes as he heard his phone buzz beside him. He debated checking it, knowing what was on the screen was likely garbage. He felt silly. He hated this feeling. He could have just waltz up to Bokuto at any time and just spill his guts, but no, of course others had to complicate matters to be this huge mess. All the stress and pain he went through felt so meaningless, and he wanted to punch himself. 

“Then I’ll just tell him tomorrow,” Akaashi huffed to himself, chest tight as he glared at his phone. He remained still as he watched the dark screen, and the next thing he knew, his shoulders sagged and his eyes were downcasted. 

That’s rich, he thought dully, as if that was as easy as pie. Even in his frustration, the thought of staring into Bokuto’s eyes as he confessed was… awful. He could feel his hands sweating, and he wasn’t even near the spiker. Pulling his knees to his chest, Akaashi settled his chin on his knee. Even after getting a kiss, it was too much. It would all be too much.

His phone screen lit up. When he spotted Kenma’s name, he reluctantly reached over and read through the message. 

[10:58] Kenma: If you are thinking of how to ask Bokuto out, try writing a letter. It’s easy since you don’t need to speak on the spot. Everything you want to say is already written and conveys what you want. 

It’s a stupid idea. Akaashi slowly reached over and grabbed his Love Guide off his night stand. He shouldn’t even be listening to Kenma right now, the feeling of betrayal still thick in his system. He clicked his pen once, then placed it against the margins. He really needed to figure out his true stance on how he felt about his so-called friends. 

At the top of the page, he wrote Bokuto’s name as nicely as he could. He made sure not to write in cursive since he knew Bokuto couldn’t read it very well. 

He took a deep breath, rolling his tense shoulders. To start it easy, he should start by explaining how his feelings came to be. That would be the best course of action. He blocked out the sound of messages coming in, mainly from Suga, and began to write. 

He began with when they met, but quickly came to realize he didn’t actually know when his affections began. Would saying he liked him from the start be weird when it could be a lie? Akaashi decided to start with what he admired first about Bokuto. From there, a story would unfold before his eyes about how exactly he became the mess he was today. 

When he pulled away, satisfied with his explanation of how his feelings were discovered, which contained very vague statements as to not uncover the setter squad (why was he even bothering to give them the courtesy?), he realised he had filled out the entire first page and half of the back of it. Upon reading it through, he noticed that it was pure rambling, over twenty words per sentence, and led absolutely nowhere. He didn’t hint at or even mention his feelings once. How he managed to do that was beyond him, but he truly wasn’t all that surprised. He always got comments on his English papers about them wishing he wrote with more emotional appeals. He turned to a new, fresh page. He’d have to make multiple drafts for sure, just to make sure he didn’t make a fool of himself on paper... 

Then again, they’d all turn out the same if he couldn’t get a reign on how to truly explain his emotions. And now, as of a few minutes ago, he’s not eager to ask for Suga or Kenma to help him out. Akaashi grabbed his phone, ignoring more of Suga’s messages. He pulled up his search tab, nervously glancing at his closed door before he typed in Youtube and looked up ‘How to write a confession letter easy”.

“Here’s how to write a love letter for dummies!” The voice chirped from his speaker. Akaashi cringed before lowering the volume. He prayed to any God listening that his mother wasn’t in the hallway and heard it. He didn’t need her getting ideas or deciding to sit Akaashi down for an hour to try and pry into his non-existent love life. “First, think about all the things you like about your special someone!”

Akaashi bit his lip, thinking. It was never too hard to come up with ideas for why he liked Bokuto. He admittedly adored every part of him, and would continue to enjoy them. He loved picking Bokuto up and showing him his worth by setting for him well past practice ended. His heart felt fuzzy and warm when he remembered the way Bokuto never seemed to say his name right, yet it was still music to his ears. Akaashi couldn’t help but grin to himself as he remembered all the times he spotted and helped Bokuto down from trees, including earlier that month when he tried to save a cat. Everything he did was beautiful. Despite how some people assumed Bokuto was some haughty ace who was more trouble than he was worth, he made Akaashi believe in the goodness of people. Sure, he could have been too altruistic and easy to crumble for his own good, but Akaashi refused to let him fall into the same group as the dull, rolled over peers he saw on the daily. Bokuto was his star. 

Akaashi blushed when he met the expectant gaze of the girl in the video. Averting his eyes, he scratched his neck and wrote ‘I like you’. Drafts were allowed to be sloppy, he has as much time as he needs to clean it up. He’d elaborate later. She grinned and began to rant about how he could write about his eyes, his style, his swagger. Akaashi tried to write a few sentences like that, but felt like his words were too forced, like he was pulling his teeth and using the blood that came out to write the note. It felt stiff. He scribbled out every single one. 

“Now, what’s one of your favorite physical traits about him?” She cooed. 

“His arms,” Akaashi replied quietly, halfway through writing his response before he crossed it out with a violent swipe. Taking a deep breath in, Akaashi changed his answer, a bead of sweat rolling down his forehead, “His eyes.”

She nodded along, not understanding the struggle he was facing. “Be sure to make it sound romantic. For example, when you describe, let’s say, their eyes. Say something like, ‘Your eyes are a lost treasure at the bottom of the sea. I could only hope to reach through it’s depths to behold the inner you’.” 

Akaashi didn’t hide the grimace that appeared on his face as he jotted down a note to himself about saying he liked Bokuto’s eyes. She continued to ramble before saying, “Remember to read it over outloud to make sure it sounds right! I hope this helped!”

He finished his note, then set his pen down with a deep breath out. Sitting up, Akaashi cleared his throat. “I like you. Your eyes are nice and deep. Please consider dating me.”

As he read it out loud, he couldn’t stop the cringe passing his expression at the clunky structure. Akaashi ripped the letter in half and threw it in the garbage can. Just as he was about to close the video, too frustrated in himself and inability to write what he wanted to convey, the woman spoke again. “It can be hard to be honest about this stuff.”

His thumb paused over the home button. She smiled. “It’s not easy to bear your heart to someone. It’s always fine to go for a to-the-point note too. It doesn’t make you shallow, or rude. It’s fine to be nervous. These notes are all tried and true, and I’d suggest them if you are struggling. I’ll link some examples below.”

His fingers curled around his device as he eyed the pictures on screen. He glanced at his pitiful note lying in the trash, then smiled hopefully as he opened the links on separate tabs. Relief washed over him, comforted by the woman’s gentle smile and calm voice. “I wish you the best of luck with your crush! You got this in the bag!”

“Thank you,” Akaashi mumbled with a blush.

“And remember, it’s only five dollars to subscribe to my Only Fans and get-” Akaashi slammed his thumb on the home button and threw his phone. It slid against his sheets, then landed on the floor. He eyed it wearily, but made no move to pick it up. 

  
  


Akaashi prided himself in getting high marks in all areas of school. English was his favorite, and he loved writing essays and sometimes writing lengthy fiction pieces on his phone when he was bored waiting for class to begin. Even so, the letter he had in his pocket felt like the most important thing he had ever written, even if it didn’t convey all he felt. In fact, it was a direct copy of one of the notes he found online. He only hoped that the aura of longing would roll off him and make the words sound more impactful in some way, even if it was only wishful thinking. 

He ran his finger along the folded sides of the note as he waited for Bokuto to finish up in his classroom. He always took a while when he was on the schedule to clean up, usually making a game of it with whoever he was stuck with. However, due to his kind hearted, yet strange personality, more often than not the other student would skip out on cleaning duty and Akaashi would come in and help. 

Akaashi was satisfied upon seeing a girl inside helping him clean off the boards. Closing his eyes, he leaned against the wall outside the classroom. He tapped the note in his pocket, pondering while he had a chance before they went off to practice. Though he wrote it days ago, he never took it out of his pocket. He debated doing so on Monday, two days earlier, but the moment he was about to fish it out, Bokuto accidentally slipped and scraped his knee. He blubbered, lip quivering as Akaashi rubbed his back, relaxing him as Suzumeda helped put a cream and bandaid on his knee. Once that was over, Akaashi decided that the fall was a sign that Bokuto or himself were plagued by bad luck that day. Giving it to him could only end poorly. 

So on Tuesday, Akaashi set his alarm early so he could give Bokuto the note before anyone else showed up for practice. He made sure they’d have more than enough time for themselves, but he accidentally took a lot longer than he intended that morning. He got dressed as always and ate breakfast, then decided to help his mother with the dishes. He double checked he had all his homework together before heading out, then chose to walk to school instead of lightly jogging like usual. He also stopped at the convenience store along the way to check out the latest Shounen Jump, though he admittedly wasn’t interested in it and read them only twice before while in a waiting room. By the time he showed up, Bokuto was helping two others with receives. He missed his shot. 

Akaashi was almost anticipating something to occur today, but nothing happened. There wasn’t any drama or little interruption that would lead him away from doing his confession, but he kept his eyes out for one. He waited patiently for Bokuto to spill his drink and soil his blazer at lunch, but nothing happened even when Bokuto nudged Akaashi over and over again as he told jokes. Bokuto didn’t forget his homework or freak out over a sudden test at lunch like he had a habit of doing between goofing around. He didn’t get scolded at for arriving a minute late to his class after lunch… Nothing. There was no reason for him to suspect his note wouldn’t go the wrong way, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t cautious. 

“Kash! Done!” Bokuto chirped as he jogged out of the class. The shoulder strap of his backpack fell from his forehead and almost choked him until Akaashi snagged it quickly, holding it away from his throat. Bokuto croaked a thank you, taking the strap from him. Akaashi gave him a moment to set the strap right before walking at his side down the hall towards the stairs. 

Though his note was ready, he was starting to think that since weekday confession attempts weren’t going well, he shouldn’t do it today either. Sure, things were going great _today_ , but he could never be too sure, right? Something could always come up, and he wasn’t a big risk taker. 

He’d do it after the game on Saturday just in case. If they won the game, that is. If the ride was okay too. A lot of things needed to go right, and Akaashi didn’t feel the need to list them all. If he listed them all, then the moment he had everything mentally checked off, signifying the perfect time to confess, then another thing would arise that he didn’t consider. He just couldn’t be too sure. 

All he knew was that he certainly shouldn’t give Bokuto the note today. It would go wrong. He knew it would, that’s why his hands were shaky and sweaty. It’s why he felt light headed too, and why his cheeks fluctuated between bright red and ghost white throughout the day as he thought of Bokuto. 

If he sprung it on Bokuto today, he’d be thrown off and wouldn’t use his practice time to his fullest. That’s what would happen. That's a fact. Bokuto would also need time to process the note entirely, so Akaashi would prefer having a whole week for Bokuto to adjust to his confession.

Bokuto hummed as they walked down the stairs to the second level. Akaashi followed, hand holding the rail as he did. The halls were empty for the most part. He could faintly hear papers rustling in a classroom and giggles from students in club rooms, something he wasn’t too familiar with hearing. It seemed almost eerily quiet for a Wednesday. 

Akaashi glanced at Bokuto, wondering if he noticed the lack of most of the usual sounds, but paused when he realized what was missing. Bokuto was quiet. Bringing his hands together, Akaashi cleared his throat. “Bokuto-san, did class go well...?”

Bokuto didn’t seem to notice he spoke. Akaashi stopped in his step, eyebrows furrowed as Bokuto kept walking in his little daze. Biting his lip, Akaashi caught up to him, sparing occasional worried glances at the captain. “I… heard Konoha say he was going to challenge you to a pull-up competition later. He said he could probably do ten more than you.”

That was all a fib, and he’d apologize to Konoha later when Bokuto would approach him about the challenge. However, he was once again thrown off guard when Bokuto said nothing. His lips didn’t even twitch up into a confident smirk. Akaashi frowned as he turned to the next stairwell. Before his hand to grasp the rail, Bokuto seemed to snap from his thoughts, and his hand reached out to grab Akaashi’s opposite wrist, giving him a sharp tug away from the stairs. Akaashi turned, breath catching in his throat. 

Bokuto’s gaze was locked on their hands. Akaashi turned away from the stairs and railing, hesitantly putting a hand on top of Bokuto’s knuckles. “Do you… need to see the nurse or something? Sit down for a minute…?”

He didn’t seem sick, but his behavior was worrying. If he was sick, he’d be moaning like a ghost and draping himself over Akaashi like he was on his deathbed. He also sneezed a lot when sick, usually around three or five times in a row. 

He grazed his fingers along Bokuto’s hand as he waited for an answer, hoping he concealed the worry in his features enough so Bokuto wouldn’t notice and panick. Bokuto blinked finally, letting out a ragged breath he had been holding in before he lifted his head to search around the hallway in exaggerated motions. Akaashi took a small step back, but then was jerked forward as Bokuto began to tug him away from the stairs. 

Akaashi allowed himself to be dragged down the hall. He stared at Bokuto’s broad back as they walked past empty classrooms. His mind briefly helped him remember a time Bokuto tugged him down the same hallway a year ago. Akaashi was still hesitant and a little wary around Bokuto at that time, and was beyond confused when the upperclassmen sought him out during lunch for one reason or another by him. When their eyes met, Bokuto rushed past Akaashi's classmates and snagged his wrist. He struggled against Bokuto’s grip, but gave up relatively quickly. He could vividly remember a white hot nervousness trickling down his spine upon seeing Bokuto’s expression, tightlipped and tense. 

Akaashi never saw Bokuto look like that, though, to be fair, he only knew Bokuto for a month or two at most. He gulped down his nerves and decided to trust his teammate. 

When his wrist was finally dropped, Bokuto had turned to him and pointed at a small beetle he found in the corner of the boy’s bathroom, asking if Akaashi knew what it was. 

“It’s a beetle,” Akaashi had replied quietly. Bokuto stared at it for a long time.

“And you are sure it’s not a spider?” Bokuto asked. Akaashi stared at him. 

“Spiders have eight legs.”

“That has eight legs.”

“No, those are it’s antennas.” Akaashi bit back a laugh at his upper classmen's ridiculousness, but then he noticed something. Bokuto’s expression changed to relief, a smile making its way to his face as he chuckled at his mistake. Akaashi narrowed his eyes on the change before he came to a hesitant conclusion. Before, when Bokuto was tense and quiet, he must have been afraid. 

Akaashi curled his fingers as he looked at Bokuto, still tugging him just like he did a year ago. He managed to step closer and peer at Bokuto's expression. He hadn’t seen that expression on Bokuto in a long time. 

Bokuto pulled him into a side hall where the bathrooms and a vending machine were located, then paused before dragging Akaashi toward the box of stale snacks. Once they reached the machine, Bokuto tucked him against the other side, shielding them from anyone who passed by to glance down the side hall. Well, it likely concealed Akaashi, who could feel his back brushing the cool metal behind him. Bokuto was standing enough away from the machine and him that someone could probably easily spot his mass of muscles or pointy hair. 

Remaining quiet, Akaashi waited for Bokuto to speak. He couldn’t help his eyes from darting around between Bokuto’s arms, how close he was, the oh-so-interesting drama club poster nearby, and Bokuto’s expression. He was starting to feel warm, but there was a small pit in his stomach daring Bokuto to point out a supposed spider somewhere near Akaashi. Akaashi wouldn’t hesitate to hit him over the head with his bag if a spider was close to his body. Then again, Bokuto wouldn’t know about a spider all the way on a different floor when he has been in class for so long, right?

“Aka?” Bokuto muttered, hand tightening on Akaash’s wrist before it drifted to trace over Akaashi’s fingers. 

Akaashi’s breath caught in his throat when he felt the feather-like tickle along his skin. Bokuto refused to meet his gaze for a moment, shoulders rolled forward as he shifted back and forth on his feet. He looked adorable, and Akaashi felt a little guilty though he wasn’t certain as to why. He poked Bokuto’s fingers back with a small smile, hoping that’d urge Bokuto to communicate to him. 

Without another second of hesitation, Bokuto’s hand jutted forward and clasped his. Oh. Akaashi felt his brain short circuiting as he stared at their locked hands. His eyes trailed upward and a thick blush covered his throat upon seeing two golden, unblinking eyes. Oh. Akaashi’s averted his gaze to the floor, somewhere behind his nose burning hot. Something told him, perhaps his heart beating out of control or his bated breaths, that he read Bokuto’s expression wrong. He couldn’t be afraid when his movements were now littered with confidence, making Akaashi almost shrink against the machine. 

“Kaashi…?”

Okay. This was happening. This was happening? His hand was being held, he was so close he could feel Bokuto’s breathy whisper against his cheek, and Bokuto’s cheeks were as red as his own. It had to be happening. It wasn’t entirely what he was expecting, but he wouldn’t complain about having to toss out his pitiful note later. He could only really see himself complaining later about Bokuto daring to confess to him in front of the bathrooms. That didn’t mean he’d say no though. He wasn’t certain if he’d be able to actually speak, but he’d just nod until Bokuto understood. 

“Agashi.” Bokuto ducked his head, trying to capture his gaze which only served to make Akaashi step back in growing flusterness. His back hit the metal, a loud clinking sound following it that nearly made him jump out of his skin. “Please?”

Biting his lip, Akaashi tucked his chin and stared daggers into the floor. His hair stood on end as Bokuto leaned closer, hand reaching out to wave his attention back where it should be. Akaashi refused to follow the movement. His free hand quivered as it fell to his side and settled along the cold machine. It felt like taking a drink from his water bottle after running laps. He was too warm and light headed for the situation. 

No, he needed to get his head on straight. This was it. This was the moment he was preparing for. He was going to get confessed to, and he’d accept, and he’d proceed to gloat about how he managed to follow the rules and get a date, unlike Kenma and Suga, who both cheated. Deep breaths. One. Two. Akaashi tried to meet Bokuto’s gaze once more, but he couldn’t do it. Everytime his gaze moved up, it’d settle momentarily on Bokuto’s parted lips and his mind would go fuzzy and when he managed to get control back over himself, he’d be staring at the floor again. 

His fingers curled tight as he nodded, beckoning for Bokuto to continue. Bokuto paused, cradling Akaashi’s hand. “I… I really want to-”

“Oh my god, Hina! You stupid slut!” Akaashi jerked back, head knocking the machine as he snapped his head to the side to watch two girls leaving the bathroom. “You didn’t actually do that though, right? I mean, that’s sooo-!”

The girls met Akaashi’s wide eyed gaze and froze in their spot. Bokuto blinked and turned Akaashi’s hand in his, patiently waiting. One of the girls, supposedly Hina, raised a hand to her mouth. The other seemed less shocked, simply grabbing Hina’s sleeve and tugging her aside. “Don’t let us ruin your moment! We’ll be leaving now.”

“Wait, that was Akaashi from 2-6, right?” Hina gasped as she disappeared past what the vending machine could allow Akaashi to see. His cheeks burned. 

“Yeah, but shh! He looked like he was about to keel over.”

“His cheeks were really red.” Akaashi needed his obituary written stat. He knew he should have been more focused and possibly had more foresight to ask Bokuto to take them somewhere else upon realizing his intentions. Now he felt like his organs were going to explode, and it wasn’t all from how Bokuto made him feel. He could still feel the girls eyes on him, even if they were out of sight. He couldn’t do it anymore. He knew Wednesday wouldn’t work. 

He slid away from the vending machine, stumbling into the open area of the hall. The warmth that surrounded his hand didn’t cling to him, letting him break free as he spun on his heels and darted toward the main hall. 

“Practice is starting soon. We have to hurry.” His voice was hoarse. He needed to run his head under a cold faucet. Bokuto slowly dropped his hands to his side. He waited a good minute before he sent Akaashi a nod. 

“Yeah, uh... I’ll meet you down there.”

Akaashi didn’t linger. 

  
  


Saturday morning, Akaashi was standing outside beside Suzumeda. The rest of the week went without incident. Bokuto was late to practice after the hallway incident, but Akaashi was relieved to have enough time to get his head on straight. They didn’t eat lunch together on Thursday, but Bokuto did help him carry papers to the teacher’s room. Akaashi wanted to ask Bokuto if he wanted to get food together on Friday, but Bokuo disappeared right after practice. He usually waited and walked with Akaashi to the gates, but Akaashi didn’t let it get to him. After all, Saturday was here, and he had his note ready. 

He held his jacket close as everyone put their bags into the vans. His phone vibrated against his hand a few times before he pulled it out to check the notifications. It was a separate chat opened with only Suga and Kenma. 

[2:11] Suga: Today is the day! Are you excited? 

[2:13] Kenma: Good luck. 

After Wednesday’s incident, Akaashi answered their texts once again. He told them about Bokuto’s almost-confession, sprinkling in a few little lies to make him sound more confident in himself and his assessment of the scenario. Akaashi claimed that he prepared a note for formality's sake since they got interrupted before they really got far into the confession. They accepted it immediately. So, technically, in a way, Akaashi was kind of following the rules. That comforted him a little. 

[2:13] Suga: You said you’d be home around 9, right?

[2:15] Akaashi: Yes, around then. I’ll tell you how it went later, I guess. 

[2:16] Suga: :) Oh Aka, you have no choice but to tell us. Now go get him, little love bird!

He smiled down at his phone, then threw it back into his pocket. He climbed into the can, taking his seat next to the captain. Ten minutes into the ride, Bokuto tapped his shoulder. “Kaash, tired. Can I…?”

It would be good for Akaashi’s health if Bokuto always asked like this instead of just cuddling up like he used to.

“I’ll wake you up when we arrive,” Akaashi replied, shifting more comfortably in his seat for the both of them. He smiled as Bokuto thanked him and snuggled into his shoulder. He could faintly hear the music from Bokuto’s earbuds over the sounds of his teammates talking amongst themselves, mostly about a new videogame coming out later that month. Akaashi tuned them out of it after a while, focusing on Bokuto’s soft breathing. As he did, he stared at Bokuto from the corner of his eye, wondering if he could consider situations like this the most peaceful he will ever experience.

He let out a small huff as he felt a wetness on his shoulder, likely a small droplet of drool sliding from Bokuto’s mouth. Raising his hand, Akaashi adjusted his jacket as best as he could without waking the captain, tugging his collar closer to his neck to have a barrier between his neck and the spikes of Bokuto’s hair tickling him. He paused for a moment, staring down at the stiff standing strand before his finger tips purposely poked one. It moved with his hand, but remained in it’s spiky form. It was rough to the touch at the top, but the base was a bit softer. His hair was too short to truly appreciate the parts that weren’t slathered in gel. 

He quietly laid his hand on Bokuto’s head, feeling the pin-prick sensation all across his palm as his fingers dug in, digits lying flat on the softer parts near his scalp. Bokuto shifted closer, leg almost moving above Akaashi’s, and nuzzled his squished cheek against his collarbone.

Akaashi bit the inside of his cheek, redness blossoming on his skin as Bokuto mumbled sleepy nonsense. His heart fluttered at the gruff voice, fondness seeping into his movements as he pulled his hand away a few millimeters, then allowed himself to brush through the locks once more. Bokuto hummed, tilting his head into Akaashi’s hand. 

The more he worked his hand through, running his fingers along the top and back of Bokuto’s hair, the softer it felt. He didn’t mind the stiffness in some areas, choosing to smooth over it. When he felt the small shaved parts at the back of his head near his neck, he’d run his fingers back up agan, feeling the hair as he went with the flow of the gel. It was calming. Bokuto, who adjusted a few times to curl closer or shift his head to give Akaashi more room to explore, didn’t seem to be bothered in the slightest. 

Akaashi paused a few times to rest his hand throughout the drive, chuckling under his breath as his sleepy companion became restless from neglect if Akaashi didn’t move his hand every so often. Akaashi settled for tracing small shapes along the curve of Bokuto’s neck when his wrist grew tired or twisting a small chunk of hair around his finger. Those also seemed to ease the captain. 

They arrived at the school they were facing almost forty minutes later. Akaashi pulled away and nudged Bokuto as they pulled up to the parking lot. With a grumble, Bokuto opened his eyes, tiredly gazing up at him like a dissatisfied cat. A yawn escaped his lips as he sat up, pouting. Akaashi caught sight of his droopy eyelids and tensed, a blush crossing his cheeks. “Did I keep you up?” 

Bokuto glanced at the floor, a small blush on his cheeks. “... No…” 

Akaashi rolled his eyes at the obvious lie, but not a lick of annoyance filled him as he opened the side door and climbed out. Bokuto stumbled out after, swaying on his feet as he squinted at the sun. Akaashi was about to stretch his legs, but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Bokuto’s hair, floppy with some wonky spikes. He slapped a hand over his mouth for a moment, trying to suppress a grin so he could explain the situation to Bokuto, but his teammates beat him to it. 

“Dude, your gel is all messed up!” Komi laughed as he brushed past Bokuto, who rubbed his eyes with a pout. He reached up to feel his hair, appearing genuinely shocked that most of it was lying down, some even covering his eyes.

“You look like a clown,” Konoha added, not sparing an ounce of sympathy for Bokuto’s feelings as he slung his bag over his shoulder, “you might want to fix that before you come in, or else they may not take us seriously.”

“Hey! It doesn’t look that bad, right?” Bokuto yelped, brushing his fingers through his hair to try and push it back up. 

Akaashi shook his head, schooling his amusement as he snagged his and Bokuto’s bags out of the van and handed Bokuto his. As his hand grazed Bokuto’s, he mumbled out, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you up.”

Bokuto glanced up, eyes bulging a little. “Don’t be sorry! I feel so relaxed right now, it’s crazy. You have to do that on the way back, okay? Please? And no worries, I always pack extra gel since I forgot to one time during a training camp back when I was a first year. Kuroo made fun of me resentlessly.”

“Relentlessly,” Akaashi corrected, all the while cursing whatever god that stopped him from being able to see a first-year Bokuto with his hair down for an entire week. Instead of voicing his thoughts, Akaashi simply nodded and began to head for the gym doors. Before he opened it up, he casted a glance back at his disheveled captain and said, “I’ll consider doing it again, but only if you are on your A game today.”

Bokuto grinned, tiredness washing out of his system as he began to bounce on his heels. “Just you wait!”

  
  


Bokuto didn’t disappoint. His cross shots were perfect, and so were his straights. Akaashi didn’t need to encourage him or help him clear his head even after only narrowly winning each set. Even the coach, who was used to having to ask Bokuto to contain himself at least a little, had nothing to say. Their ace was focused on the game. He hardly even made playful banter with the others trying to taunt him from across the net. 

Akaashi was impressed by his team’s performance, completely satisfied with how the game and the day would end until he grabbed his jacket afterwards. He was halfway through zipping up the zipper when Konoha tapped his shoulder. He turned with a hum, heart dropping when he saw a folded piece of paper in Konoha’s grip. His fingers jerked away from his jacket, feet stumbling over a stray water bottle as he tried to snatch the note. Konoha raised an eyebrow at the setter’s lack of grace. 

“Konoha-san!” Akaashi gasped as he steadied himself, “A-Ah, thank you for… finding my homework.”

“You dropped this just now,” Konoha explained with a smirk, handing the love note to him. Akaashi bowed his head a little and snatched it away with deft fingers. Based on Konoha’s amused expression he either read the note or had a pretty good guess as to what was actually on it. Akaashi wanted to hit himself. Why would he carry homework around in his jacket anyways? Even if he was known on his team for being one of the smartest around, they didn’t think he was that much of a nerd, or so he'd like to believe. “Interesting homework assignment, I bet. Well, don’t lose it before you need to use it, alright?”

Akaashi blushed as he shoved the note into his pocket. He spotted Bokuto bounding over from across the court, yapping about their victory like an excited puppy. 

“Thank you. I’ll be sure to be more careful.” Konoha shook his head at Akaashi, chuckling under his breath as he turned to go find his water bottle. Akaashi huffed a little in return, deciding to refuse to look at Konoha for the rest of the day so he could try and forget about this slip up. 

“Kaashi!” Two arms wrapped around his shoulders, a cheek pressed close to his. “I did a good job, right? So you’ll do it again, yeah?”

Akaashi leaned into the touch, his cheeks as warm as Bokuto’s embrace. He could hear a familiar laugh a few feet away, and recognized it as Konoha’s. He repressed the urge to bury his face in Bokuto’s jacket to hide his embarrassed expression. Instead, he moved his head, bonking it against Bokuto’s gently as he reached up to pat Bokuto’s forearm a few times. “Once we get in the van.” 

He made a mental note to add to Bokuto’s list of strengths. If his hair is played with before a game, he will be relaxed and focused. If he is promised hair petting after a game, he has the drive to push himself in order to secure his spot in the van later, content to nuzzled against the hand dangling in his gel ridden hair. Akaashi briefly wondered if this action would warm Bokuto up enough for the note, so when he gave it to him Bokuto could only think to say yes. 

He wondered if Bokuto would regret saying yes once the question actually sank into his system. He bit his lip, throwing his bag over his shoulder. He followed his team outside after waving their goodbyes to the other team, wishing them luck as the season progressed. 

No. Akaashi smiled a little, though it was riddled with uncertainty. If he was right, Bokuto was going to say something on Wednesday. Sure, he didn’t really get to say anything, but Akaashi wasn’t the only one who felt that way, right? It was mutual. It had to be. Probably. He was starting to overthink again. The urge to pull at his hair or tug on his fingers grew as he handed his bag to Bokuto to put by their seats. He tugged at the end of his coat, hoping the action would go unnoticed by Bokuto as he rambled about a play they did. To his dismay, Konoha spotted his fiddling. 

While Bokuto was distracted with the bags, Konoha punched Akaashi’s shoulder. Akaashi glared, curling his fingers together to force himself to stop playing with the end of his coat as Konoha whispered, “Don’t worry. It’ll all go great.”

Akaashi hoped he was right. 

  
  


The sun fell right as they left the gym, the cold autumn air sending shivers down their arms as the team haphazardly climbed into the vans. Coach congratulated their victory as he stepped into the drivers side and turned on the warm air. Akaashi felt bliss when the warmth batted against his cheeks as he settled in his seat and slid the van door closed. 

Bokuto wasted no time fishing out his earbuds and phone, bouncing in his seat at the thought of getting another mini massage. Akaashi wondered if he wanted this to become a weekly activity. 

He selected a song off a vaguely named playlist, then put a bud in the ear closest to Akaashi, leaving the other drooping. Shifting close, Bokuto rested against his shoulder, leg pressed right against his. He crossed his arms in his lap, waiting patiently. Akaashi smiled at him, leaning himself against Bokuto in return. He basked in the warmth radiating from the other as he raised a hand to settle on Bokuto’s head. His fingers grazed a spike, ready to work the gel loose once more, but paused when Bokuto picked up his dangling ear bud and held it out. “Wanna listen too, Kaashi?”

Akaashi blinked dumbly at Bokuto, hand frozen in the air. He drank in Bokuto’s wide eyed, curious gaze and felt fondness creep into his heart. Cautiously, he plucked the bud from Bokuto’s fingers. He inspected it before slowly sliding it in, surprised to hear a quiet, soothing melody. It wasn’t classic, but it was lyricless and had an electric thrum to it that made Akaashi’s muscles relax. He expected to get an earful of American rap, or some heavy beat mixed with unintelligible words. This was a bit of a surprise. 

“Do you like this?” Bokuto asked, pushing his phone into Akaashi’s hand. “You can choose what you want. Just search it in the bar.”

“This is fine,” Akaashi replied, but Bokuto still put the phone in his hand, then snuggled back up. Akaashi raised an eyebrow at the tired captain, but then noted how Washio was already passed out in his seat behind them. 

“I want to hear what you listen to,” Bokuto argued. He made it clear in his tone that he wasn’t going to change his mind, which meant if Akaashi hadn’t selected a new song in the next two minutes, he’d fall into a funk or become a pouting mess. 

Akaashi pressed the search bar and typed in the name of one of his favorite songs. He waited for it to load, then clicked the dark album cover. In seconds, a loud rumble rang in his ears. Bokuto jumped the moment the calm music ceased and a loud electric guitar filtered in through his earbud, but he made no attempt to take his device back as Akaashi lowered the volume a little. 

The lead singer screamed into their ears as the drums picked up in the background. Once he began to sing, if it could be called singing, Akaashi closed his eyes and took a relaxing breath in. He knew some of the words after looking them up, but preferred not knowing entirely what was being shouted through scratchy, growling voices. He didn’t need to know the reason the singer sounded so angry. He just liked how it seemed to release all his frustrations at the end of the day, like he was given the mic and allowed to let out everything at once without repercussions. 

It was a drastic difference from the previous song, and Akaashi was surprised Bokuto listened to the whole five minutes wordlessly. Once the song was over, Akaashi pressed pause on the next one that came up and gestured to the phone, wrist rolling back and forth to let go of his nerves from Bokuto’s silence. “Do you want to play your music again?”

Bokuto’s eyes fluttered open. A wonky smile crossed his face, and Akaashi had to stop himself from smiling back. “No, I want to hear more of your stuff. I thought you-”

He sat up, lifting his head from Akaashi’s shoulder. “I thought you liked that slow piano and violin stuff, but… This really suits you a lot too, Kash! It’s cool!” 

Akaashi raised a finger to hush him, which made Bokuto’s grin widen. With a roll of his eyes, Akaashi reached out to cup his head, then drag him back down to his previous spot snuggled into his shoulder. He clicked the play button on the next song, turning it down enough to possibly let Bokuto have some sleep during the ride home. His fingers didn’t move from Bokuto’s head, instead threading into his locks. As he did, Bokuto wrapped a hand loosely onto Akaashi’s sleeve, a few inches away from where Akaashi had his hand perched against his leg, still holding the phone. 

“I like the emotion in this type of music,” He explained to Bokuto as his senior let out a happy hum, nudging his head against Akaashi’s hand, “but I know lots of people dislike it because of the volume, and the-”

“I love it,” Bokuto blurted dumbly. Akaashi’s hand paused, but then dug deeper into the gel, tugging strands loose as gently as he could. “It reminds me of you.”

Akaashi didn’t know if he should reevaluate his actions and behaviors if Bokuto claimed music filled with frustrated screaming and guitar solos reminded him of him, but he decided to take it as a compliment until he had time to think on it later. 

Bokuto’s hand suddenly tightened around his wrist, then released. His fingers curled together in a fist that he dragged away to hold near his other hand in his own lap. Akaashi blinked down, barely catching Bokuto’s mumble as the guitar picked up in his earbud. “Sorry, I didn’t mean that. It's just that you remind me of-”

“It was just a slip,” Akaashi dismissed. He wanted to add that Bokuto was practically melting against him at this point and him holding his wrist wasn’t a big deal. In fact, he wished he cherished that moment a bit longer. A small seed of anxiety bubbled up from the missing warmth, but he smashed it down. If Bokuto had pulled away entirely, then he’d worry. He could settle for him. Akaashi breathed out and relaxed against Bokuto, who hesitated before burrowing his face in Akaashi’s jacket. Bokuto let out a sigh as Akaashi carded his fingers through his hair again. 

Akaashi’s hand got tired halfway into the drive, but Bokuto didn’t complain when he rested his hand on his shoulder. Tilting his head back, Akaashi closed his eyes, hoping to get a little rest before he had to do something about the note in his pocket, then walk home. 

The ride was quiet aside from his music. At this point, everyone seemed to be asleep besides the coach and Suzumeda, who quietly chatted about plans for next year. Meanwhile, he remained awake, occasionally glancing around to check on his teammates in boredom. He caught Suzumeda’s gaze twice during his scans, turning to send a smile to him and Bokuto. He prayed Konoha hadn’t told her about the note, but he knew there was no other reason she’d give him a look like that. Cheeks burning, Akaashi watched as they drew closer to Fukurodani. 

Bokuto took his phone and earbuds back as they came to a stop in front of the gym. Akaashi rolled the stiffness out of his shoulders before climbing out, Bokuto not far behind. The rest of the team took their time getting their stuff and heading inside for a debriefing from the coach. Akaashi stayed quiet as he praised everyone for their best plays, adding in things they could work on as well. From the corner of his eye, he could see Bokuto watching with rapt attention, treating each word like it was true nuggets of wisdom, even when the coach turned to Akaashi and chuckled, “And lighten up! You look like I’m about to make you do laps!”

Blinking in surprise, Akaashi nodded and bowed his head. He furrowed his eyebrows as he focused on his coach’s words. Sure enough, he felt tense. His mind was fuzzy and reeling at the thought of pulling out his confession note, so much so that he couldn’t recall a single thing the coach said Bokuto did well and what he needed to work on. With any luck, Bokuto would tell him so Akaashi would know what to work with him on for the coming week. 

That is, if Bokuto wanted to practice with him.

Akaashi closed his eyes. He knew all the signs were pointing to a mutual connection between them. There wasn’t many ways you could explain away a good luck kiss or snuggles without anything romantically coded into it. Well. Akaashi could remember last year at training camp when Bokuto was draped over Kuro, complaining about how his ‘homie’ forgot to kiss him goodnight. He never figured out if Bokuto was serious about that. He didn’t really care at the time. 

He wanted to kick his past self. 

There wasn’t any way that Bokuto didn’t feel something. Even if it was a small snippet of something, Akaashi could work with it. He didn’t know how, but if there was a glimmer of a chance, it would mean he wouldn’t be in tough waters after his confession. He could handle a maybe, even if he desired a yes. 

Akaashi opened his eyes and looked to Bokuto, who had managed to find a stray ball in the gym. He turned to meet his gaze, and Akaashi was about to respond to the unasked question. Yes, I can throw you some sets. Yes, we can stay back a little longer and work on their receives. Exhaustion was plaguing him from his restless drive, but he would force his joints to work through the burn. 

However, he looked over an important ability Bokuto possessed. 

“Do you think marrying a volleyball is legal?” 

His ability to catch Akaashi off guard the moment he thinks he can read Bokuto like the back of his hand. 

Akaashi glanced at the ball wearily, awaiting the captain's explanation. “I heard that someone once married a rollercoaster, so it should be possible in some way. And I think that that’s the only way, right?”

“Or you could marry a person,” Akaashi mumbled.

Bokuto dribbled the ball against the ground. He didn’t reply right away, instead only speaking again after their team left, shouting that they were going to get snacks before heading home. Akaashi made a mental note to avoid where the vending machine was so he wouldn’t run into them during his confession or after. 

“I could marry the person who invented volleyball,” Bokuto mused, though it lacked the joking, light air he had before. He caught the ball and swirled it in his hands. 

“That person is most likely dead,” Akaashi replied, “but you could marry a volleyball manufacturer and get an endless supply.” 

Bokuto set the ball down in the court. Akaashi was too lazy to get the keys to the storage closet in order to throw it in the ball cart, so he turned a blind eye to it. 

“I’d rather stick to a volleyball, I think,” Bokuto mumbled as he slung his bag up. Akaashi smiled as his senior adjusted the strap to rest over his forehead. “Volleyballs are… If you hit a ball wrong, you can adjust yourself and fix it. It just rolls with it and allows for mistakes. It’s gonna still be there if you practice for ten minutes or ten hours.” 

“People can be like that too.” Akaashi said that with the confidence of a man who never practiced volleyball for twelve hours almost straight to satisfy Bokuto’s wishes. He slept for thirteen hours after that particular incident. 

Bokuto tilted his head to the ceiling lights. He hummed lowly, mulling over his thoughts as he brought a hand to his lips. “It’s harder with people. You can only change your aim so many times before they just…” 

Bokuto shrugged his shoulders. “I'm sorry... I dunno. This feels like… You know, when you play a videogame for a week and defeat the final boss. You are upset you finished the game and it’s over, but you are still happy you went on the journey. You don’t regret getting attached. You can always play through it again and again, but things won’t change. They won’t make me more content for the game. It makes you wish all the work you put into the game was only the start, and there was much more… And actually, there is more, but it’s locked off. It's locked off for you. Uh, well, unless you buy those expansion packs for, like, 49.95. And even then it’s overpriced… But I guess worth it? I don't know, I guess this feeling is… Melancholy?”

“Melancholy typically has no direct reason toward the sadness you’d feel,” Akaashi answered, still trying to process the rest of Bokuto’s ramble, “but you are sad about the videogame.”

Bokuto bit his lip. “Bittersweet then?”

Akaashi shook his head and walked over to where Bokuto waited at the gym door. He zipped his jacket up completely, bracing himself for the cold winds outside. 

“Bokuto-san…” He pulled the door open. He took a shot in the dark, hoping he hit the nail on the head. “You… realize that this was only a practice match, right? And that we won? We have a whole year ahead of us. You don’t need to worry about it ending yet.”

Bokuto paused at that, eyebrows furrowing as he processed Akaashi’s comforting words. Slowly, his shoulders sagged and he nodded. Still, Akaashi could see in his gaze that there was something off about what he had said. Before he could worry about processing Bokuto's rant wrong, his captain responded with a simple, “Yeah. I guess so.”

Akaashi huffed at the breeze that brushed his cheeks. The moon was sitting in the center of the sky surrounded by different shades of blue. Stars twinkled overhead, along with a red blinking light from a distant plane. Leaves rattled as they were pulled across the concrete pathway by the wind. He could hear distant laughs and cheers, likely his teammates celebrating their victory. 

He reached into his pocket and clasped the folded note in his hands. 

Bokuto headed toward the front gates with him, steering clear of their friends. When they were halfway through the courtyard, Akaashi paused, glancing to the moon. It was hardly a romantic place to confess. On his way over, he spotted three pieces of litter and one banana peel. The school’s shadow covered all the beautiful flowers nearby, leaving them with only an empty bench, an overflowing trash can and a bush as their scenery. 

A small part of him mused if Bokuto would have found it more endearing and romantic if Akaashi did it in the gym. He would, but if he got rejected, he’d rather not have that painful reminder every time he went to practice. No. He wasn’t going to think that way. He was going to be fine. 

“Bokuto-san.” Akaashi called just above a sudden howl from the wind. Bokuto turned. Gathering his courage, Akaashi tugged the note from his pocket and held it out. He waited and put effort into his grip to make sure his hand didn’t shake as Bokuto stepped forward and took the note.

It took him less than a second to open up the note, and it wouldn’t take long for him to read it as well. Akaashi settled for the most simple, forward note available online. Bokuto wasn’t much of a reader, so he hoped he appreciated the directness. 

_Do you like me? Yes No_

Akaashi could see Bokuto’s smile as he read the note, and his heart dropped. It was a Bokuto smile, blinding and wonky. It was a tight lip press, something reserved for mothers dealing with unruly children, yet still fond. It was the type of smile you give to a girl on Valentine's Day as you awkwardly shift a box of chocolates in your hand before muttering something along the lines of 'Thanks, but no thanks' under your breath. Akaashi's breath caught in his throat. Instead of retrieving a pen from his messy backpack to circle an answer, Bokuto folded the note back up. Each crease felt like a finger curling around Akaashi’s throat. 

Ah. He messed up. 

Bokuto’s eyes didn’t meet his, even though Akaashi stumbled forward, desperately trying to meet his gaze. He pressed his lips together tight, biting back the sick feeling crawling up his throat as Bokuto let out a laugh. It sounded wrong. He never thought he’d find Bokuto’s laugh horrendous, but that was the only way to describe the feeling of nails being driven into his chest. Akaashi felt something shaking in his hands. He glanced down to see he had his hands folded together. They trembled in the cold, but not because of it. 

“Of course I like you.”

A laugh of disbelief almost fell past his chapped lips as he met Bokuto’s gaze, witnessing his shaky smile and furrowed brows. He stepped forward, feet heavy as his heart dared to pick up speed. He could feel his own lips twitching and finally he could breathe. He looked down at his hands, twitching as they shook, debating between reaching out to be met halfway or to give Bokuto a taste of his own medicine by throwing him into a hug. He wasn’t certain if he could handle the contact, but his heart was aching, begging him to do something. 

But then Bokuto continued. “You are my best friend.”

Akaashi’s head snapped up. His heart had filled with a swell of hope, only to have it crash and burn at Bokuto’s utterance. Best friend. He watched Bokuto wander up to the trashcan and toss the confession in, and how he dusted the pencil lead off that stained the pads of his fingers. Each swipe was akin to being slit over and over in his stomach, the warm bubby nervousness dying and being replaced by a thick mush of sludge. The soft clap of his hands rubbing pierced Akaashi’s ears, still ringing. Best friend. Best friend. Best friend. Akaashi managed to summon strength back into his limbs. 

And he ran. 

He heard Bokuto call his name, but he didn’t pause as he rounded the gates and took off down the sidewalk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for leaving this off on an angsty note, but I promise the warm, fluffy goodness will be coming soon. In the next chapter will be a lot of that sweet, sweet information we all crave, curtesy of some of the pretty setters. Want to know why those dumb rules are in place? Want to see the setters go apeshit? Want to understand Bokuto? Same. It's in the next chapter. 
> 
> Once again, thank you Konerrupine for the amazing angsty art! You really captured the emotions of the two well and It Hurts.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akaashi, didn't you know?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haaa, late update. Sorry, I was on vacation and turns out I had horrible connection there! I promise the next updates will be on time!
> 
> Also, everyone in this chapter at some point: Cut the cameras, d e a d a s s

[9:21] Konoha: ???? I heard Bokuto shout, are you guys okay?? We checked the gym but you weren’t there. 

Akaashi ignored the message. 

[9:29] Komi: Hey, r u good? 

Akaashi burrowed his face into his pillows. He only glanced up when his phone vibrated once more.

[9:20] Washio: We got you guys a soda. We are by the vending machine still- Konoha said he couldn’t find you.

“Keiji!” His mother called from somewhere in the house. He grunted and threw his pillow on top of his phone. Wiping his nose on the back of his hand, he gathered his breath until he was no longer hiccuping back sniffles. He refused to look in the mirror across the room. He felt gross, he didn’t have to know what he looked like. Rolling his shoulders, he prepared himself for when his mother would bust through the door to talk about his grades or a chore he needed to do. Hopefully she’d know enough to not ask about his red eyes. “Your friends are here!”

Akaashi jolted. He could practically see Bokuto making his way through the hallway, and it made him leap to his feet. He couldn’t have Bokuto see him like this. He rushed to his door to lock it, but it swung open and narrowly hit him in the face. 

“Congrats!”

Suga’s smile was blinding as Kenma reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of shredded paper. He threw it into the air, a small chunk plopping right onto Akaashi’s head. 

Akaashi’s lungs burned as Suga thrusted a box toward him with a clear cover. Inside was a small, round cake with pink icing. Across the entire surface was cursive writing that read, “ _Congrats on getting a boyfriend!_ ”

Akaashi’s eyes burned, but he held back the building tears. He could almost picture himself enjoying the surprise had the situation turned out different, but all he wanted to do was throw it in the trash as hard as he could. Then again, he heard eating your feelings was a good coping mechanism. Bokuto told him that when he sat him down on the curb. Akaashi remembered staring at the dirty marshmallow on the ground. He felt as gross as that marshmallow, looking horrible on the outside and all squishy and crushable on the inside. Turning his head away from his friend’s, he used his sleeve to dab at his lower eyelid. “He said no.”

Suga’s mouth fell open. Kenma froze as well, rigid as he stared up at Akaashi. Akaashi just shrugged, shaking his head as he turned to go sit down on his bed. 

Kenma followed him halfway, but stopped at his desk. He tore a small corner of paper from Akaashi’s homework, then snagged a pen. When he was done, Kenma smiled and he opened the cake box and positioned the paper so the cake said, “Congrats on _not_ getting a boyfriend!” 

Akaashi laughed at the ridiculousness of it, but the amusement was quickly replaced with small tears forming. Suga hit Kenma hard on the head while the shorter setter just shrugged, expression blank. Akaashi lowered his head, wiping his face with a frustrated groan. “I… I’m sorry… I’m sorry.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Suga cooed. He set the box down and made his way over. When he reached the bed, he sat down beside Akaashi and pulled him into a tight embrace, “you can let it out.” 

He didn’t know if he actually could, but he buried his face into Suga’s grey sweatshirt and breathed shakily. 

Kenma avoided joining the hug, instead pulling out plastic utensils he brought with him in order to begin cutting open the cake. Inside was marble. Akaashi half expected him to hand them a slice, but he only cut himself one before sitting on Akaashi’s desk, feet dangling off the side. 

“Alright,” Kenma muttered, mouth filled with cake, “what exactly did he say?”

“Gave him a note.” Akaashi curled his fingers tighter around the sweatshirt. Suga petted his hair, and Akaashi dully noted that it was soothing. He wondered if Bokuto felt the same way when he brushed his hands through his hair the whole drive. His heart was stinging again. “And he said he liked me as a best friend.”

Suga winced. “Oh.”

Kenma stabbed into his cake, eyebrows furrowing. “That… doesn’t make sense. He has to like you.”

“I wouldn’t hold my breath on that thought anymore,” Akaashi scoffed, turning his gaze from Kenma. His grip was hard on Suga’s sweatshirt.

“No, he _has_ to.” Kenma set his cake down in favor of biting his thumb nail. “He was the one who called Kuroo and asked for advice on you. That’s why we did the movie night. Bokuto was scared you hated him or something, and I didn’t want you getting upset if I told him the truth.”

“Well, I don’t hate him,” Akaashi remarked lamely, not bringing himself to try and analyze yet another thing he should have realized before confessing. If he knew he was reading things wrong, if he only had a sign, he would have stopped while he was ahead. “And him wanting to make sure his friend wasn’t mad at him doesn’t equate to love.”

Kenma pressed his lips tight, eyes narrowing as Suga ran his hand back and forth down Akaashi’s back. Suga pressed a kiss to the top of Akaashi’s head, then leaned his cheek against his unruly black hair. “What do you need, Akaashi? Want to put on a movie and cry? Want me to get you some fuzzy pj’s out and cut you some cake? What will help?”

Being left alone. A do over button. A different shoulder to cry on, one that was sturdier and accompanied by two arms that gave the best bear hugs. Akaashi curled closer and shook his head. 

“Cut the shit, Suga,” Kenma groaned, “you know that something is wrong here. There’s no way Bokuto rejected Akaashi.”

“While I have a hard time believing it,” Suga huffed as calmly as he could, hands stilling, “Akaashi needs to be comforted right now. That’s all we can do.”

Akaashi huffed into the sweatshirt, unable to meet Kenma’s scowl. He turned back after a minute of silence to see Kenma still sitting on the desk, phone in his hand. Kenma stared, cat-like eyes piercing into Suga’s before he nodded. 

His fingers pounded against the keys. “This may be all _we_ can do, but we still have another setter up our sleeve.” 

  
  


Akaashi sat on the ground, lip quivering as he watched two slippers gliding back and forth across the ground. They were white and fluffy, the bottoms stained tan from the wearer having ran over to the house as soon as they got the call. From the corner of his eye, he spotted Suga next to him, pouting, and Kenma on his other side, looking indifferent. 

“So,” Oikawa announced with a clap, slippers coming to a stop in front of all the setters, “whose idea was it first to break the rules of the group?”

“It was me,” Suga sighed, “and… I also kind of encouraged both of them to break them as well.”

“Not true. He didn’t influence me in the slightest. We all decided on our own what we wanted to do. I honestly just thought you were joking about that rule,” Kenma added unhelpfully. He didn’t shrink away from Oikawa’s or Suga’s glare. 

“I really did push Akaashi towards breaking it though,” Suga insisted, but was cut off by Oikawa looming over Kenma with a sneer. 

“Does this seem funny now?” Oikawa challenged, crossing his arms. “Those rules were set up for our benefit, especially that one. If you can only date someone who asked you out, you don’t need to worry about love, or getting rejected. You are safe.”

Akaashi winced as Oikawa jutted a finger at him. He suddenly felt more grubby and gross than he did earlier. He could feel the dry sweat on his arms from running all the way to his room where he laid in his suffocatingly warm sheets for so long. “And look what happened. If you guys just listened, he would have been much happier right now!”

“Sorry, Oikawa-san, I didn’t think this would happen,” Akaashi murmured, rubbing at the corners of his eyes with his sleeves. Oikawa freaked out on the phone when Kenma called, but he seemed to have relaxed on the train ride over. That did little to ease Akaashi though. Oikawa normally dressed to stun, but currently he was in mismatched pj’s, hair clips, and slippers like a slob. Oikawa was aware of his appearance and tried to never look less than 100% collected and clean. Akaashi eyed a small stain on the bottom of Oikawa’s cactus print shirt and breathed out a shaky breath. It made the gravity of the situation weigh Akaashi down further, who already felt he was sinking through the floorboards. 

“Oh, shut up, Akaashi!” Oikawa hissed. Akaashi winced a little at the raised tone. He was used to biting back comments to ease verbal blows at Oikawa, but now he couldn’t feel a single word wanting to leave his throat. He looked down at the ground, wanting to curl in on himself once again. Suga’s hand rested on his back once more. “I’m not joining your pity party. You broke the rules, so grow up!”

“Hey, don’t be a dick!” Suga rose, eyebrows knitted together as he placed a hand on Oikawa’s chest, shoving him a few inches away from Akaashi to give him space. 

“C’mon, you should have seen this shit coming and now it’s your fault Akaashi looks like he wants to throw his heart into a blender.” Oikawa clapped his hands together, returning back to his earlier pacing. “Why even bother taking the fucking risk when this is all that happens? 

“And he would have been sad without knowing right now too!” Suga threw his hands in the air. It had been a while since Akaashi saw him look so exasperated, but he didn’t possess the energy to help cool Suga’s slowly boiling anger. He brought his hands to his face, rubbing the skin under his eyes to not have to see the fighting in front of him. “Sometimes you just have to take that chance instead of constantly waiting like a certain someone standing right in front of us, judging us for growing a pair!” 

Kenma watched their interaction with wide eyes before sneaking a bite of his cake. Akaashi sent him a look before standing up as well upon seeing Oikawa’s gaping mouth, eyes wide with disbelief. 

“Oh, don’t even try bringing Iwa-chan into this.” Oikawa growled, shaking his head.

“The rule was made because of him, wasn’t it?” Suga stepped back to not be so close to Oikawa, teeth gritting. “Akaashi was following your fucking rules and it didn’t work. He tried, unlike you, who is still pining in the group chat about your crush and has been for over a year.” 

Oikawa bit his lip, hands trembling as they formed into fists. Kenma set his fork down as Oikawa took a deep breath, then threw his hands in the air. “Fuck this. This isn’t about me, this is about Mr. Mopey, but I guess now nothing with sense matters! Let’s just throw the rules out the window entirely!” 

“Sounds good to me! They were dumb as shit anyways!” Suga shouted with a harsh cackle. He shook his head, crossing to the far side of the room as Oikawa rolled his eyes. 

Kenma took his plate from the ground and walked across the floor to stand beside Oikawa. “I agree with Oikawa, kinda. I don’t really care what he does with Iwaizumi, but I’m not going to be coddling Akaashi right now.”

“Thank you.” Oikawa huffed, shoulders lowering slightly as he snapped in Akaashi’s face. Akaashi looked up reluctantly to meet Oikawa’s stare. “Now, tell us what the fuck happened?”

Akaashi resisted the urge to bury himself in the blankets on his bed as he began to explain everything that occured. “I followed your guys’ advice and did everything you said. I really… I got my hopes up that he liked me after he… kissed my cheek, but it was probably just to get Terushima to stop bugging me, right? That’s probably it. And I’m just dumb for assuming he liked me. I shouldn’t have confessed, and that’s that.”

Oikawa tapped his foot as Akaashi ran through what occurred. Suga stared at Akaashi, shaking his head when he heard Terushima’s name. Kenma finished his cake, expression unchanging. Once Akaashi was done speaking, Oikawa’s leg stopped jolting and he glanced over to Kenma, “And you are certain that something went wrong here?”

“Well,” Kenma hummed, “if all setter rules are disbanded, I guess having each other's backs is no longer required.”

Akaashi paled. Kenma locked eyes with Akaashi, and suddenly Akaashi felt scared. He was used to Kenma’s blank, almost annoyed expression, but he wasn’t too familiar with a new emotion dancing in his irises. It was anger. 

“Akaashi actually broke Bokuto’s heart. Not even just once, but on multiple occasions.” A sharp pang of something negative struck Akaashi, then confusion. He managed to choke out a laugh. However, Kenma didn’t look amused. “He told Kuroo he already asked you out, was rejected, and then you started ignoring him; there was something about you avoiding him, freaking out if he touched you even casually. I swear every day since the sleepover Bokuto has been texting Kuroo either that he made progress or that it all burned up and you hate him. I _thought_ helping you learn how to calm down and be around him during movie night would have fixed this stupid mess, but it didn’t. So, Oikawa, please work your magic.”

Akaashi scoffed. He knew that wasn’t right. Kenma, to his credit, was misinformed, which Akaashi couldn’t fault him for. Akaashi knew Bokuto didn’t ask him out. The thought seemed ludacris. The only thought that made him pause was Kenma mentioning how he avoided Bokuto, especially since he didn’t remember explicitly teling Kenma that. He knew how analytical Kenma was, so he could have picked up on Akaashi’s odd behavior during their practice match a while ago. Even so, Kenma would have made a lot of assumptions to reach that conclusion, and Kenma hated that kind of thing. He always needed evidence. Akaashi shook his head, folding his arms. 

Akaashi reached his conclusion. Kenma obviously misinterpreted the evidence. They both were hoping Akaashi’s situation with Bokuto was better than it actually was. 

Oikawa stared at Kenma for a good minute, mulling over the information before slapping a hand against his forehead. “You youngsters are so fucking difficult. Akaashi?”

“Yes?” Akaashi whispered, running a hand through his hair. His mind still raced ahead of him, recalling all the interactions he had with Bokuto that could match up with Kenma’s account. 

“Did Bokuto ask you out?”

Well, that he was certain of his answer. A humorless smile crossed Akaashi’s lips as he stared up at Oikawa with the lack of any passion in his eyes. “No, he didn’t.”

“Not true,” Kenma piped up, “Kuroo told me that Bokuto asked if you wanted to go out to eat on the day we had our sleepover. Then I was with Kuroo when he had to help Bokuto compose a text about bowling or something. And supposedly he was going to ask again earlier this week, but Kuroo hasn’t gotten any news back on that. I can either assume he chickened out or didn’t have the time, but the other two times did happen.”

Oikawa raised an eyebrow, glancing between the two as Akaashi sat down on his bed. He remembered both the first occasions Kenma stated, though it was very vague and Akaashi wouldn’t jump on calling them a request for a date. Bokuto wanted to study and get ramen, but he didn’t say it was a romantic endeavour. If it was, it was poorly worded. They often went to get food together or study. And as for bowling, though, Akaashi only rejected because of his discovery of his feelings. If he knew it was a date, he might have taken him up on the offer. Or not. He was so nervous and uncertain back then, but now that he could feel the sting of heartbreak, he knew his feelings were true. 

An inkling of hope spurred in his chest at Kenma’s mention of the last occasion. He remembered the feeling of the vending machine against his back and Bokuto’s breath batting the warm skin on his cheek, but he quickly shoved the memory down. He just kept getting his hopes up.

The ugly feeling grew as a thought crossed his mind as he recalled the first two ‘attempts’. He knew Bokuto like the back of his hand. He prided himself in understanding his captain better than anyone else, so of course he was right. It couldn’t have been Bokuto proposing dates because he would have known immediately or at least had a clue. He was right. He needed to trust his brain more. 

His fists clenched at his sides. He felt a burning sensation behind his nose, eyes stinging as he sucked in a deep breath. With a quivering sigh, Akaashi reminded himself of the tense atmosphere and how the setters were steps away from throwing more harsh words toward each other the longer they stewed in each other’s annoyance and frustrations. Still, he couldn’t help his clipped tone. “Thank you, Kenma, for the false hope, but I don’t appreciate lying.” 

“If you had no shot with him,” Kenma replied evenly, “I wouldn’t hesitate to tell you that. Though, by the second, I feel like your chances are slimming.”

Akaashi bit his lip as he turned his head to look at his hands. 

“Alright, there you have it, Kaashi.” Oikawa sat down beside him and laid back against the sheets. “You must have messed up the confession. All you have to do is go up to him tomorrow and tell him you want to go on a date. He’ll get the hint.” 

Akaashi folded his hands together in his lap, then slowly bowed his head. He let out a long breath and was grateful to feel Suga’s hand settle on his back once more. He resisted the urge to lean into the touch. “I’m not going to do that.”

“And you don’t need to,” Suga replied. 

“To hell you will!” Oikawa hissed. He reached over and forced Akaashi’s chin up. A weird noise left Akaashi’s throat in his surprise, but Oikawa’s grip kept him from pulling away. “I swear to god, don’t let this fucker slip through your hands. You’ll regret that for years. You’ll end up like the male equivalent to a crone with eight cats that you throw birthday parties and name after the children you wish you had!”

Akaashi crossed his arms once Oikawa dropped his chin. He supposed Genji and Chiyoko would make good cat names. “It was bad enough getting rejected once. Even if Kenma is right, nothing either of us do works. It’s like the universe is screaming at me to stop while I’m ahead. After this year, he will graduate anyways. I shouldn’t keep pushing and making things worse for the both of us. At this rate, we won’t be able to play right because of my emotions getting in the way.”

Kenma sat on his desk, pushing the rest of the cake toward his stack of textbooks. Akaashi stared at the books moving closer to the edge, but relaxed when he saw them fall short of crashing to the ground. He sighed and glanced back to Kenma, noticing he was holding something in his hands. Akaashi expected it to be his handheld console, signifying Kenma was no longer interested in the conversation, but his heart ached when he saw it was something yellow.

Akaashi lungs burned as he froze, rigid. He could see Kenma eyeing the pages as he flipped through them, too fast to gain much information, but enough to catch any intriguing group of words. Words died in his throat, breaths quickening as Kenma paused at a certain page, then slammed it shut. 

“So you can settle for writing a book on him and pinning even though he’s right there?” Kenma muttered, handing the notebook to Oikawa, who stared at the hardcover with a frown on his lips. Suga snatched the book from them and handed it to Akaashi, giving them a staredown so they wouldn’t try and swipe it back. Akaashi grabbed the notebook and pressed the hardcover close to his chest, cheeks burning. His lungs felt empty as he tried to catch a cool draft to fill him, his quick breaths doing nothing to ease the lightheadedness he left the moment Kenma found the notebook. He curled forward, tucking his chin against the book as he squeezed his eyes shut tight. 

“It’s for strategies. It helps me make decisions in-game.”

“You had a section titled as a ‘Love Guide’,” Kenma huffed. Akaashi couldn’t really defend that, so he just held on tighter to the journal cradled in his arms. 

“Suga?” A voice called from somewhere outside the room. “Suga, dear, your mom is on the phone.”

Suga paused before shaking his head. “I’ll be right down, ma’am!” 

He turned to Akaashi with a tight lipped expression, gesturing to the door. Akaashi shook his head, then watched as Suga reluctantly left alone, leaving the door open behind him. Oikawa and Kenma spared each other a look. Kenma hopped off the desk and followed Suga out the door, closing it behind him so quietly that Akaashi couldn’t hear the familiar click of the door tooth sliding into the hole. 

Oikawa walked over and took a spot on the bed beside Akaashi. He rested his elbows on his knees as he rubbed his face. When his hands fell down to his lap, Oikawa mumbled, “Look. Okay. I get it. It’s scary doing things like this, but you are gonna do it anyways. I’ll drag you all the way there if I need to.”

Akaashi remained quiet, fingers running along the spine of the notebook. Oikawa breathed out and stared at the ceiling. “I’m only pushing you because I think it’s the best idea. Everything you want is right in front of you if you take it. I… kinda envy your position.”

He slowly raised his head to analyze Oikawa’s expression, which dispelled any thoughts of him possibly lying to make Akaashi feel better. He scoffed under his breath, an empty laugh leaving his throat. “I wouldn’t see it that way. You have everything too.”

Oikawa rolled his eyes, though it wasn’t filled with annoyance. “That’s what it looks like, but reality couldn’t be further. I’m not in the same boat as you. We are just pretty, pretty setters with pretty, pretty aces we like that confuse us to no end. Only the thing is that you have a real shot.”

“It’s not as easy as you may think. Hearing it secondhand from Kenma shouldn’t lead you to that conclusion, because it’s wrong,” Akaashi sighed, rubbing his eyes as pulled the notebook away from his chest to stare at the yellow binding on the side, “and besides, you haven’t even tried to get what you want, so don’t say I’m in a better position. You haven’t been rejected yet.”

“But you can always get up and try again,” Oikawa deflected with a small roll of his wrist. 

“I’m afraid if I do anything wrong after this, my relationship with him will crumble beyond fixing.” Akaashi admitted before settling his notebook on the bed. He suppressed the urge to lift it again to preoccupy his hands. “Even if we do date, I don’t think I’ll ever get rid of this feeling in my chest. I feel sick.”

“I know what you are talking about,” Oikawa mumbled, lips pulled tight, “it’s like a hole in your stomach and nothing fills it. Not food, not comfort from others really either. Sure, Suga’s nice, but he didn’t make the feeling go away, right?”

Akaashi’s fingers stilled as he remembered Suga’s touch, even the ghost of the memory no longer provided him a lick of calmness. He mulled over the idea, but when he realized that he didn’t even feel like he wanted Suga there, that he’d prefer being with Oikawa or alone, he shook his head. Oikawa let out a small huff, though it lacked any defining emotion. “And I’ll tell you right now, that feeling won’t go away without proper closure. You didn’t have all the information you needed before making your first confession, but now you do.” 

Akaashi rubbed his hand under his eyes, grimacing as he noticed his hands tremble. He kicked his feet a little, dragging the bottom of his feet against the wood floor below him. It was as smooth as the gym floor, and if he ever closed his eyes and focused, he felt like he was there. It was comforting, but now he felt like he was being thrusted back into his first game in middle school. He could feel the anxiety creeping up like bile in his throat as his mind raced a mile a minute. It felt like the ball was coming for him, and he needed to make the final toss before a killer spike, but there was no one there to back him up. Releasing a deep breath, Akaashi hunched over just a tiny bit more. “I feel like I’m just jump back setting a ball into a void behind me and hoping for something to come of it.”

Oikawa tapped his finger on his chin. “Yeah, but I see you do that set all the time in your games. Even if your aim is a little off, or it goes out of bounds, Bokuto always gets it.”

Akaashi’s fingers stopped their fiddling as he bore his gaze into the grain of the wood. He closed his eyes and pictured the gym this time, no longer empty. He smiled as the echo of Bokuto yelling his name reached his ears, and his fingers twitched on instinct like a Pavlonian dog. The heavy blanket of horrendous feelings once suffocating him lightened only slightly. It was enough to make him be able to breathe again without his lungs aching. “Yeah. He does.”

Oikawa nudged his shoulder with a soft smile. It was a nice, soft look that didn’t entirely fit the Oikawa Akaashi was familiar with, but it didn’t steer him away. If anything, it felt personal. It felt like, though they were truly complete opposites in all regards besides volleyball positions, they could understand each other on a deeper level in some way. 

Oikawa drummed his fingers on his leg. “Interested in a deal?” 

Akaashi jumped a little at the starting proposition. Still intrigue crept into his system and he couldn’t resist knowing. “A deal?” 

“You seem to be confident that if I were to ask Iwa out that I’d be in a better situation,” Oikawa began, “and I disagree, but that doesn’t matter. If I confess to Iwa-chan, then you have to ask Bokuto out just one more time.”

Akaashi raised an eyebrow, not bothering to stifle the laugh. “You’d ask Iwazumi out? Really?”

Oikawa threw his hands in the air momentarily, his small smile contorting into a scowl. Gradually, he took a deep breath in and lowered his hands. “I just need a yes or a no, little owl.”

Akaashi collected himself once more. He ran his fingertips across the palms of his hand, then faced Oikawa again. 

  
  


Suga returned to the room three minutes later with a sigh falling past his lips. Kenma followed in after him, now wearing one of Akaashi’s jackets he remembered leaving in the living room. He didn’t comment on it, already too used to Kenma complaining about being cold all the time. “My mom wants me to pick up some things before the stores close, if they haven’t already. Differences in opinion aside, does anyone want a ride home?”

“Actually, I’ll take you up on that offer, Refreshing,” Oikawa announced, hopping up from his place on the bed. “I’ll even get you an ice pop as a thank you!”

Suga shook his head. Akaashi spotted the small quirk on his lips, a clear sign Suga was still mulling over their little quarrel. Still, he waved his hand and nodded. “It’s fine, you are kind of on the way home anyways.”

“Yeah!” Oikawa grinned, pumping his fist in the air. It faltered on the way down, as did Oikawa’s smug look. “Yeah... but it would also be for earlier. I’m not good with being apologetic and shit, so just eat the ice pop I buy and that’ll be that.”

Suga stared at him, then smiled. With a roll of his eyes, his usual twinkle was back. He shrugged, leaning forward to slug Oikawa’s arm. “As long as it’s watermelon or blue raspberry flavored. ” 

He fished out his keys and turned back to Akaashi, “and you make sure to call me if you need anything, okay?”

Akaashi smiled as Suga reached over and rubbed his shoulder. “I think I’ll be good now. Thank you for the help, I appreciate it.”

The Karasuno senior didn’t do much to mask his shock at Akaashi’s sudden change, but still sent him a grin back before turning to Kenma. Suga didn’t falter as he reeled back and kicked Kenma’s heel. “What about you?” 

Kenma hissed in pain for a moment, then glanced at Oikawa. “Can I get an ice pop too?”

Oikawa snickered. “Hell no, I owe you nothing.”

“Dammit. Fine, I call shotgun though.” 

Oikawa skipped down the hall, screaming a goodbye to Akaashi’s mother, who yelled back just as enthused. Suga shook his head with a fond smile, giving Akaashi one last head pat before heading out as well. Akaashi didn’t bat an eye as Kenma took half the cake with him. The lump of dessert he left behind was filled with a random scramble of letters, obscuring the message it used to display. Akaashi pushed it aside, instead choosing to pluck a volleyball out of his empty laundry basket. 

He laid down on his bed, gazing at the ceiling as he tossed the ball up. He pushed the ball up with his fingers, repetitively tossing it back up when it began to fall. His arms strained under the weight of each set, the game from earlier beginning to weigh on him. A deep sigh past his lips, but was cut off by a yawn. Still, he continued to hit the ball, mind wandering from his drowsiness. 

When he was aiming, he always counted on himself to play in the moment whether it be to toss it straight into the laundry basket to gain a personal point, or to commit a setter dump to infuriate the other team. He also believed that in-game, he relied on his quick thinking more than his long term analysis’. It was always a split second decision to toss the ball to a teammate. It was always a gut reaction that sent the ball over to Bokuto, who’d spike it without fail. 

He tossed the volleyball higher, grimacing when it brushed the ceiling and came back harder than before. Akaashi pushed it up again with a huff, eyes darting to the laundry bin. The next time it came down, he’d toss it and score.

He planned ahead for tests, though he always scored highest in his classes. He prepared himself a week in advance for any large social gathering or family reunion. Long term thinking and planning worked well with him, but his instincts were the biggest reason he was on the starting line up during his first year. In fact, he was certain if he used the same part of his brain that did his long term thoughts to play volleyball, he’d fail. He knew he’d fail. 

The ball hit the ceiling again. Akaashi lost track of how many times he heard the scraping sound of the two colliding as he looked back to the bin. It was a clean shot. He hit the ball back up again, and it once again hit the ceiling. Akaashi bumped it with his fingertips before it could collide with his face. 

His parents mentioned something years ago about his habits of planning and fretting. He liked the pressure of stress, but he was aware of the loops he tended to fall into when something was on his mind. He’d study the same material for hours, convinced he didn’t know it well enough. He’d rehearse small talk in the mirror before seeing his cousins from Yokohama, certain he’d stumble over his words if he wasn’t focusing hard enough. In middle school, he used to hit the ball more than once in succession and cause his team to lose a point. 

He recalled his brain racing to find an answer he could live with, the best possible choice. In highschool, that way of thinking was easier to cut off, but when he was younger, it was a hellscape. The ace on his old team, Yaku, was good at spiking, but was always ogling at girls instead of focusing on the game. Mori had a habit of biting his nails when nervous during rallies, and also always seemed to have one foot out of bounds, something Akaashi didn’t want the referee to notice. Akira was always ready to go, but chronically had his shoes untied and was diagnosed as a clutz from birth. Before Akaashi could ever send a ball, the whistle would blow and he’d be scolded at for holding the ball. 

High school was different. 

He hit the ball, but didn’t wince as it touched the ceiling. 

He never had someone so eager to hit at any moment. Bokuto never wasted a breath, always darting exactly where Akaashi needed him when his old habits of overthinking his own abilities came in. Akaashi wasn’t certain if Bokuto meant to always be in the right spot at the right time but he was always grateful. His mind always swirled with ideas and decisions, but the anxieties melted away when he saw Bokuto ready at his side every time. The moment the ball would connect with the opposing side's court, Bokuto would throw him into a one armed hug and his brain would correct itself. 

His eyes darted to the bin, and he set the ball, a soft murmur of a name passing his lips. He felt a surge of that blind faith he always seemed to be filled with in the presence of his star, and it flourished again when the ball fell into the basket. 

  
  


He arrived at school on time, but wasn’t greeted by the sounds of practicing in the gym. Instead, Washio met Akaashi by the gym doors early Monday morning. He scanned him up and down as if he had laser vision to see through his coat to check for any sign of injury or trouble. During his inspection, Komi came outside in his exercise clothes, arms crossed. “You didn’t answer your texts. We were worried.”

“I’m sorry for that,” Akaashi replied as Washio lifted his arm and let it fall back to his side. He huffed in approval before stepping back to give the second year some space. “I really had to get home. My aunt came over this weekend and my family wanted me to show her around the area.”

Akaashi knew he had a great poker face, but he didn’t put any effort into concealing his lie. His teammates could read through it easily, or so he believed based on their expressions. Still, he didn’t defend of begin to explain himself, choosing to stand there, staring into their eyes with disinterest.

“What was the yelling all about?” Komi asked, folding his arms over his chest. 

“Bokuto thought he saw an owl, but it was actually a plastic bag caught in the trees.” 

Akaashi couldn’t tell if they thought he was lying again since they genuinely seemed to be considering that answer. Komi sighed, deciding not to grill him any further. “Well, since you’re here, Konoha and Suzumeda decided we should have an intervention. Please sit down in one of the chairs in the center of the room and wait for Bokuto to arrive.”

“He’s not here yet?” How did they get inside the gym? As far as he was concerned, only Bokuto and the coach had extra keys. If the rumors he heard were correct, the last years captain’s forfeited the keys to Bokuto after only a week into the new season because they’d either arrive and find Bokuto outside doing push ups (something he’s been doing for an hour while waiting for them) or would find Bokuto trying to climb into a window and would need three people to help squeeze him out.

“No,” Komi replied with a shake of his head, “he probably forgot it was Monday again.”

Akaashi adjusted his bag and headed inside the building. He paused upon seeing the set up, or at least, what he could see. The gym was as dark as it could be, the only lights from the daybreak shining through the windows and a stand up table lamp on the ground between two metal chairs. He locked eyes with Konoha, who was standing beside the lamp. It barely came up to his knee. 

“If you are planning to shine that thing in my eyes like some kind of interrogation scene movie cliche,” Akaashi drawled, “I will tell everyone that the real reason you didn’t eat any fish at training camp last year was because you were afraid that it-”

“OKAY!” Konoha scowled, kicking the light over. Akaashi heard a chattering noise followed by a curse. “Well, if you just turn on the lights then, we can continue with our plan.”

Akaashi slowly reached over and turned on the lights, revealing two other teammates in the corner eating their breakfasts. He wondered how early they all came, waiting until he and Bokuto arrived. Sighing, he shook his head. “That won’t be necessary.”

“Uhhh, it kind of is though.” Konoha argued, kicking a stray piece of glass toward a small pile beside the desk lamp. A frown crossed his lips as he glanced away. “Both of you have been avoiding our texts all weekend and we were genuinely worried something was wrong. I have a feeling this doesn’t involve us, but you guys are making it begin to. We just want things back to how they were before, or maybe slightly different. Whatever it ends up as, it just can’t be this.”

Akaashi’s eyebrows drew tight as he pondered over Konoha’s rant. So, Bokuto was also not bothering to check his messages. He frowned, but nodded along. “I agree.”

“And I know you don’t like us prying into your personal life because you have that whole ‘sauve’, cool thing going on, but we are your friends! We want to help you guys if we can!” Akaashi’s eyebrow quirked, but he still nodded along regardless, knowing his upperclassmen’s intentions were in the right place. 

“Thank you for that.”

“It’s always okay to ask for help, Akaashi. You don’t need to push us or anyone else away and do things on your own!”

“I am aware.” 

“So please-!” Konoha paused, whipping around to face Akaashi, who remained awkwardly standing by the door. He wanted to take off his winter coat, but he didn’t feel it was polite to do so while Konoha rambled. “Wait, you’ve been agreeing with me this whole time?”

Akaashi nodded once more, fingers knotting together. 

“Okay.” Konoha paused, uncertain of how he should continue. Akaashi smiled a little at seeing his upperclassman flounder about, casting glances toward their other teammates for help before turning back. “Well, then we are going to have you two sit down and talk out this situation.”

“Ah,” Akaashi hummed eloquently, “no thank you.” 

Konoha gaped at him. He twitched, legs shifting into a firm stance. “I knew you weren’t actually agreeing with me! Whatever, you don’t have a choice this time.”

Akaashi raised his eyebrows at the other’s resolve. He took a deep breath in, then exhaled. The gym air was warmer than outside, and it didn’t burn his throat. The lack of pain helped him gather himself more, something he had been practicing all weekend, as he approached Konoha and gave him a feeble smile. 

“I figured some things out over the weekend, and I think I can do this on my own,” Akaashi mumbled, his haze unwavering from his friend to prove his determination wasn’t an act.

Konoha bit his lip. “Didn’t seem to be going well on your own a few days ago.”

Akaashi shifted his school bag on his shoulder, taking that moment to take a break from Konoha’s stern expression. “... I needed more time to think it over, and now I know what I want to do."

Konoha paused. A laugh left his throat, but it sounded forced. “Think it over? Aren’t you the one always ten steps ahead of everyone? Just you saying that has me more worried than before.”

“That’s reasonable,” Akaashi muttered with a growing frown, “but I’ll be honest, I don’t have a full plan still. It’s just an idea, but then I guess I’ll wing it.” 

He fought the urge to explain he hoped Bokuto would pick up where he left off. 

“I didn’t think it was possible for people to change so much within a weekend.” Konoha whistled. “And I didnt expect this from you of all people. Then again, you two have always been a weird bunch though, and i can’t keep up with half your guys’ conversations for the most part. It’s hard to stage an intervantion when you two suddenly start talking about metaphorical astrology and books or some shit.”

Akaashi expected a bit more of a fight, but Konoha let out a long sigh and folded his arms. “Yeah, you know what? Handle this as best as you can, but come to us the moment you need help. Teams don’t just work together on the court.” 

Akaashi nodded and they two of them shook hands. After cleaning up the make-shift interrogation scene, they got warmed up. It consisted of laps, stretches and basic exercises. Akaashi and Konoha admittedly didn’t lead practice as well as they could have, each having one eye glued on the door. Bokuto never showed up. Eventually, the school bell rang and they slowly began to change into the uniforms, Akaashi’s ears straining to hear the gym door rattling open or Bokuto’s shouts of frustration from having slept in. Akaashi still tried to detect any Bokuto related noise as he arrived at his first class and sat down in his seat. 

  
  


Akaashi scoured the hallways with his lunch, checking each nook and cranny for Bokuto. He debated finding one of his classmates and asking if they spotted him, but decided he didn’t want to bring too much attention to his absence. Then again, who wouldn’t notice the loudest kid in school was gone?

He checked behind the vending machines, under the desks in a few classrooms, and between book shelves, knowing Bokuto tended to squish himself into uncomfortable places when in deep thought or when he was sulking. However, he wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Defeat beginning to chew at his fingernails like his own teeth, he headed to the first floor. There were only a handful of places left worth checking. Bokuto, if not in the before mentioned locations, was either in the principal's office for roughhousing or causing a scene, or in the practice gym, which he was banned from being in at lunch since he usually left it a mess. 

Akaashi passed multiple groups of teenagers creating loud banter, but it was not as soothing as Bokuto’s squeals of excitement. He could see the gym’s double doors ahead of him, and he sucked in a deep breath. 

When he reached the main doors, he placed his lunch on the ground. There had been more than one time that he entered there to eat and ended up cleaning up his lunch from the floor after a stray ball collided with his hands. He just prayed the basketball team wouldn’t be practicing right now. They were uncontrollable. 

He heard a single ball being hit, then saw a volleyball whirl past his eyes and collide with the ground. After a few seconds, another one followed. It didn’t have the same strength as Bokuto’s spikes, and Akaashi immediately deflated. He bowed his head, jerking the door handle to throw it closed, but paused when he heard someone speak nervously from inside. “I promise I got permission to be here.”

Peering into the gym, his eyes lit up upon seeing it actually was Bokuto. He stood beside a cart of balls, school blazer discarded and his shirt sleeves rolled up past his forearms. His tie was a messy clump on his neck that was thrown over his shoulder to get out of the way as he threw the ball up and served it over an imaginary net. Only Bokuto would think his answer was satisfactory when there’s pictures in the teacher’s lounge with his mug along with rules he specifically had to follow. Akaashi saw it a few weeks ago and sent a photo to Bokuto, who in turn only focused on the fact that his picture was in the teacher’s lounge like he was a cherished student. 

His eyes met Akaashi’s after the ball connected with the ground, but hastily looked away. His gaze fell to the ground to watch the ball dribble. “I slept in and thought I’d try to catch up on a bit of practice. I hope coach let you all in the gym.”

Akaashi paused, remembering he still didn’t know how the others got in. Whatever. Didn’t matter, especially since he now had Bokuto right in front of him, and they were alone. Taking a deep breath, he kept in mind what had been on his mind all weekend, his little plan. Akaashi unbuttoned his blazer. “Do you want me to set for you?”

Bokuto shrugged, kicking invisible rocks on the ground. He pushed his hands into his pants pocket, a small pout on his lips. His words came out in a soft huff, akin to a child muttering and wanting attention. “If you want. Don’t you want to eat before lunch ends?”

Bokuto never passed up an oppertunity to get setted for, but Akaashi wasn’t deterred. He could see in Bokuto’s form that an ‘emo mode’ had yet to arise. His hair wasn’t droopy either. Akaashi let his blazer drop to the ground, fingers gliding to the buttons on his cuffs. They came undone under his touch until his sleeves were loosened enough to roll up to his forearms. He plucked up a stray ball, rolling it around in his hands. 

He watched Bokuto slowly meander over to the side of the court, movements sluggish and reluctant. “You really don’t need to. I need to go soon anyways and… get an assignment from my teacher.”

Akaashi ignored the lie, all to used to the way Bokuto would suddenly mumble if he wasn’t being honest, and dribbled the ball once. 

“Get ready, Bokuto-san.” He sent Bokuto a small smile, then threw the ball up. He took a small step, then extended his hands to set it. When it left his hands, he felt his heart rate spike up. It was perfect, once again just the way Bokuto liked it. He turned to watch the magic that was one of Bokuto’s powerful spikes, but was met with the sight of a sailing ball colliding with the wall of the gym and a stationary Bokuto with one hand raised halfway up. It fell to his side, and Akaashi felt an electric spark run down his neck.

“I didn’t get it,” Bokuto muttered, tucking his chin. 

The ball rolled past Bokuto’s feet and bumped Akaashi’s sneaker. He could hear the ghost of a whistle announcing their failure, but the sound didn’t bring Akaashi the same frustration and anxiety as it did mid-game. 

They missed. A perfect throw, just as Akaashi learned from setting to Bokuto for so long, was wasted. The silence in the gym felt wrong. If it was any other ball in any other way, he was certain Bokuto would be bouncing over, clapping a hand on his back and telling him to keep trying. He’d throw his arms around him and pick him up in a hug, swirl him around as Akaashi waited for his energy to die down. Even perfect tosses could miss, it seemed. 

Akaashi glanced up from the ball and his eyes locked on Bokuto. He wasn’t in emo mode. He could see it clear as day. Bokuto didn’t have droopy shoulders and floppy hair, and his lips weren’t settled in a pout. His feet didn’t drag, and he wasn’t hunched over. He was standing tall, arms drawn close to his body as to make himself take off less space. His eyes were locked on the grain of the collapsed bleachers on the side of the gym, and they looked like they were lined with red. Akaashi’s hands twitched, but he forced himself to stay still and continue his observations. Bokuto’s lips were pressed tight, his cheeks dark from his few and far between breaths. His shoulders were rolled forward. 

Akaashi wondered if that’s what he looked like when he didn’t set the ball he wanted to. He always had been told he was expressionless, but then how would Bokuto always know when he needed him to tell him it was okay to miss? It was always okay to miss in Bokuto’s eyes, just so long as you kept trying to break through that wall. So long as you gave your 110% the next time. 

He just needed to rely on that blind faith. Bokuto will get the ball right when Akaashi needs him the most. Until then, he will set a few more balls. 

“We’ll get the next one,” Akaashi announced as he walked over to the cart and scooped up another ball. 

“You are going to miss the entire lunch period if you keep it up.” Bokuto wheezed out a pathetic laugh. 

“Get ready.” Akaashi ignored Bokuto’s sigh as he threw the ball into the air again. He set it once more. It launched from his hands, another perfect arch for Bokuto. He whipped his head to analyse Bokuto’s form, but he only jumped a foot off the ground, hand half raised before flopping to his side right when the ball was too far past him. He almost expected Bokuto to fall deeper into his despair and near the entrance of ‘emo mode’, but Bokuto didn’t look any different having failed a second time. Any sane person could see he probably wanted to be left alone for a little while, but Akaashi remained rooted in his spot, lip caught between his teeth. He cursed his obvious selfishness, too stubborn for a happy end that he was going to continue to keep Bokuto going on. 

Bokuto picked up the two balls and began to head over to the cart. He dropped them in one at a time, examining how they rolled along the other balls and settled in their own divots. When they relaxed in their places, the gym fell quiet. 

Akaashi itched to snag a ball out, or even one of the ones across the gym from before he showed up, but his brain slowed him down. He had a feeling making Bokuto try and hit another set wasn’t going to make him feel better, especially since missing didn’t do anything to his mood. He searched through his memories to try and remember some time previous he saw that look on Bokuto’s face and that calm, sad expression, but he was drawing blanks. 

Even his Bokuto book wouldn’t give him any information on how to _deal_ with this. He never wrote about how to handle a downtrodden Bokuto unless he was in emo mode or was appearing to be nearing there. 

He tensed as his fingernails dragged against the back of his opposite hand. His fingers flexed as he backpedalled, looking up with wide eyes at Bokuto, the familiar ache he associated with his longing coming back, only grimier. 

Since when did he refer to how he navigated Bokuto’s behavior as ‘ _dealing with_ ’ him? 

Even repeating the line in his mind made his hand fall on his lips, covering a shaky breath clawing its way out of his throat. 

He watched as Bokuto untied his tie, taking his time to try and get the knot right. His moves were lethargic, as if he wasted all his energy practicing only for a handful of minutes in the gym. Akaashi was glad he didn’t just leave him alone. Not that he could really say he deserved it after his thoughts, but he appreciated the moment to access the situation yet again. He needed to now figure out why even the thought of going over to help Bokuto with his tie, something he’s always done, felt like a plot to lure him in. He wanted some questions answered about why Bokuto’s behavior suddenly was seen as troubling and against his plans when he was so used to, and even more than happy, to help him out before. 

Perhaps this was all getting to his head. 

He could have easily taken this all a bit too far; he had a tendency to do that, though it usually reared its ugly head when he was frustrated or eager to entertain Bokuto with sets hours after practice. The more he considered that option, the more he began to cringe. Hell, he had to get help from an underclassmen to remind him how exactly he acted around his best friend a while ago. If he was real with himself, the main reason he tried to set today for Bokuto was to get him upbeat again so Akaashi could try his confession one more time. 

Every movement was dictated by a different setter’s idea of how to achieve love, and while it could have worked for some, it didn’t do him any good. In his desperation to gain Bokuto’s affections, he ended up ignoring Bokuto’s needs in the process. It was like they were dancing and Akaashi was leading, not bothering to slow down as Bokuto stumbled through the movements. Now that he was thinking about it, he could feel how Bokuto must have felt. 

Even if he was rejected, even if he had a chance in the end, even if the cards were stacked in his favor and he could come out and say ‘Hey, you may have misread my intentions, I want to date you!” and everything would be smiles, glitter and rainbows--- That wouldn’t satisfy him anymore. The thought of it kind of made him sick to his stomach, that old, nasty feeling gripping his heart once more. He had to face his own negligence first toward his best friend, not as a potential partner. He left his best friend hanging while his mind went wild on a fantasy, and dragged him into a different emotional rut through the confusion and unintentional hurt Akaashi must have caused. He couldn’t even fathom the feeling, seeing as that look on Bokuto’s face was still foreign to him, no matter how hard he tried to recall a similar expression.

God, he was kind of a piece of shit. 

Akaashi silenced a harsh laugh bubbling in his chest as he dragged his hands over the corners of his eyes, wiping away invisible tears. Gathering himself with a deep breath, he held his arms out. “Bokuto, send me another ball.”

Bokuto’s nose crinkled as he stared at the ground with what could only be described as disinterest. However, even Bokuto’s most reluctant gazes always held an ember of determination and longing. “You are going to waste your lunch period.” 

Probably, but this isn’t about Akaashi. It’s about Bokuto now, and his well being. It was a best friend’s job to keep high spirits and trudge through the mud alongside their companion. 

“You always tell me the same things when I’m not at my best,” Akaashi replied as he headed to the cart and took a ball off the top. He twirled it in his hands, then stopped it with a nod. Bokuto perked up a little, straining to hear Akaashi’s naturally quiet voice over the sounds of sneakers against the floor. “Always ‘it’s not impossible, just hard’, or ‘Give me your 120%’.”

Bokuto stopped fiddling with his tie, half lidded eyes raising to meet Akaashi’s steeled expression. “So I’m going to ask the same from you. Give me everything you got in this spike.”

“We have less than ten minutes until lunch ends,” Bokuto began with an uncertain tone, “and I missed practice and our stretches. I won’t be able to hit it well anyways, definitely not at 120%.”

“Then we will work our way there,” Akaashi argued, chest feeling tight as he jutted a finger out toward Bokuto, “I’ll give you my 100% if you give me your 20% now.”

Bokuto’s lips quirked upward, a sparkle of something familiar in his eyes as he took a slow step forward. Akaashi’s breath stuttered for a moment, tension unraveling from his shoulders at the sight. “I’m pretty sure that’d balance out to 60% between us both. That’s not a very good score.”

“That’s why your next hit, I’ll expect your 40%.” Akaashi walked over to the middle of the gym, stopping a few feet from the center gym line. Bokuto walked toward the back line, a little less reluctant as he readied himself. 

“And what will you give in return?” Bokuto said in a tone too serious to be joking, his eyes narrowing in on the ball between Akaashi’s still hands. 

Akaashi could see Bokuto extending a hesitant branch of communication. He took it, and responded based on what he knew Bokuto needed. He threw the ball high into the air. “120, 140, 100- But nothing less.”

He jumped and set the ball. The angle was just like Bokuto preferred, the height just right. Akaashi blinked as his feet touched the ground, and in that fraction of a second, Bokuto was suddenly in the air, legs drawn upward and hand reeled back, eyes intense. His hand connected with the ball, and it flew across the gym. It was more forceful than Akaashi knew Bokuto to do in-game, which likely meant that it landed out of bounds. He couldn’t bring himself to look, because the moment the ball was hit, Bokuto’s eyes fell on him. 

Bokuto landed and stumbled a little as he landed. His gaze didn’t waiver as he panted. When he caught his breath, his wide eyes glinted with curiosity. 

“That’s a hefty promise,” Bokuto whispered. 

Akaashi nodded firmly, not breaking eye contact as he announced, “I won’t break it.” 

The ball didn’t roll any closer to them from where it rested against the wall on the far side of the gym. Even without it in play, without it connecting them to their trust in each other as teammates, Akaashi could feel an invisible thread slowly dragging them back together, the trust they’ve sowed slowly bearing fruit to a new connection, brighter and more promising. He felt that strength in his veins upon seeing Bokuto’s wonky grin working up his lips. 

“I know you won’t,” Bokuto replied. His voice held the old chipper tone and bounciness that never ceased to make Akaashi’s heart flutter. Before he could say anything else, Bokuto jumped in the air, then took off toward the ball rack with newfound energy. He dug through the bin before selecting a ball, though they were all identical, then threw it to Akaashi. “We still have time! One more!”

Akaashi grinned as he bounced the ball off his fingertips, then sat back as Bokuto darted forward and slammed the ball into the ground. “We still have time for one more! C’mon, let’s go!”

Time seemed to fly by faster than they anticipated. The bell went off for the end of lunch sooner than Akaashi expected, though admittedly he never looked at the clock since he arrived at the gym. They were both still standing in the gym, panting with their uniforms untidy and volleyballs littering the floor. He cursed to himself, not prepared to be scolded when he arrived late, but he still stuck around to help clean up their mess. Bokuto, now brimming with joy, cleaned up the balls in record time and hummed a tune as he pushed the ball cart into the storage closet. 

Akaashi tugged his sleeves back down, buttoning them up as fast as he could. When the buttons were fastened, he plucked his blazer off the ground and threw it on, leaving it open. He’d fix it in the hallway as he rushed to his next period. 

“Bokuto-san, do you need help with your tie?” Akaashi called as he neared the storage room door. Bokuto popped out a moment later, sheepishly rubbing the base of his neck. He huffed out a fond sigh and walked over, hands coming to rest on either side of the half-done knot. He finished unlooping the coiled mess, then lined up the sides. Once it was set up right, he wasted little time tying it right, having enough practice in to get it done in record time. Akaashi raised the knot to Bokuto’s throat, then tugged the smaller end of the tie until it was loosened. 

“All better?”

Bokuto flashed a grin. Akaashi examined it with content swelling in his chest. His eyes narrowed upon noticing Bokuto's broad smile was even, lip not curled slightly, and one side not raised dramatically higher, but brushed it off as Bokuto stepped back to admire his work. “It’s perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, the lovely art was made by Konerrupine!!! Please check them out on Instagram to check out more of their art! 
> 
> Thank you for reading through the chapter! It means a lot to see so many people enjoying this story since it has been fun to write! I hope you stick around for next weeks chapter!
> 
> Also can I just say how fun it was to write Kenma this chapter-


	7. Locked Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akaashi and Bokuto stop holding their cards to their chests.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bet you didn't expect an update- 
> 
> This chapter has been done for So Long and I just Never Posted it. 
> 
> Anyways, the last chapter is being worked on! This chapter was just way too long to continue on with, so the next one will be the last.

“So, how’d it go?” 

Akaashi stopped stirring his tea, setting his spoon on his napkin. He glanced up at Oikawa’s bright, expectant eyes as he took a long sip of his tea. Oikawa did the same, except with his overly sweet coffee he got from the barista just moments ago. It took him three whole minutes to describe his order, and Akaashi could see how frazzled the barista became after just the first five lines. She was now, after spending four minutes making the drink, leaning against the wall with a tired smile. Oikawa sipped his drink happily.

“You first.”

Oikawa rolled his eyes, but Akaashi wasn’t fooled. He could see the way Oikawa’s foot tapped the ground with anticipation and the way he bit his lip to make sure he didn’t spew his secrets to the world about how his confession went. Leaning forward, Oikawa dragged a hand through his hair and hummed, “Well, I got rejected.”

Akaashi choked on his tea. Oikawa tossed him his napkin to clean the small puddle in front of him and the drips clinging to his chin as he sucked in a deep breath. He took it gratefully. 

“It really sucked too,” Oikawa continued with a little pout, but it lacked the despair and longing Akaashi expected it to. He wasn’t sure how to feel about Oikawa’s reaction toward being turned down by someone he was crushing on for a year or so. He wasn’t sure he could call it much of a reaction when Oikawa looked that way about most subjects, as if it could easily be brushed off. Akaashi was a little envious of his ease, but at the same time, it scared him. Oikawa was truly something. 

“I had a really cute idea! I got flowers that weren’t roses because he thinks they are lame, and got a big cardboard sign that said ‘Go out with me, Iwa-chan?’. I even added glitter to it I stole from my little sister's room…. And her radio. However, apparently ‘Love Game’ by Lady Gaga isn’t a ‘romantic’ song because when he opened his window he threw a book at me.”

Akaashi winced. “Ouch.”

“He missed.”

“Good for you?” Akaashi murmured, eyebrows drawn tight as he tried to find something else to say. Oikawa shrugged and took a long sip of his coffee. 

“I was kind of bummed out about it.” Reasonably so, Akaashi thought, since his crush of over a year pelted a book at him mid-confession. “But then he came down as I was packing up to head home and stuff my face with Ben and Jerry’s.”

“Oh?” Akaashi leaned forward, eyebrows knitted with confusion. 

Oikawa grinned. “He picked up the book and tried to hit me again.”

Akaashi slowly folded his hands in front of him. He gathered himself before his stature faltered, confusion still dwelling within. “... Why are you happy about that..?”

“He missed again.”

Akaashi’s jaw tightened. “Fair enough.” 

“And,” Oikawa purred, swirling his drink in his hands, “he grabbed my hand as I was walking away to scold me for confessing before he had the chance to do it himself.”

Akaashi blinked, then smiled as Oikawa dropped his disinterested, pouty expression, excitement filtering back into his expression. He draped his upper body across the table, cheek pressed to the cold table. His cheeks were pink and his expression could only be described as euphoric. Akaashi almost felt uncomfortable seeing Oikawa in such a happy fit. It felt like something reserved for rare occasions and definitely out of the public's eye, but here he was, kicking his legs under the table like a squealing school girl. “And you wouldn’t BELIEVE it, Aka-chan, but he kissed my forehead and he was SO cute! He was blushing and everything, and, yeah, he pushed me down when I brought it up, but…. God, all I can think about is his bright, little blush and how he mumbled and…. I’m so whipped and I don’t even care.” 

“I’m happy things worked out for you then,” Akaashi replied, sending his thoughts and prayers to Iwaizumi. 

“Mm, I said we can pretend my confession didn’t happen, but he’d have to do his sometime this next week. So now I’m waiting for my knight in shiny armor to come over and sweep me off my feet.”

Oikawa slowly slinked back up, a teasing glint entering his eyes causing Akaashi’s breath to catch in his throat. His excitable glee had all but vanished in seconds, replaced with his usual smug aura. Oikawa was truly weird. “So, what about you?”

Akaashi smiled and took another sip of his drink. He briefly fantasized of going to Bokuto’s house and pelting rocks at his window. He didn’t own a stereo, and he couldn’t sing, and he wasn’t much for words, but he could beckon for Bokuto to come down to the backyard where he’d verbalize a confession. He’d kiss Bokuto’s forehead like Iwazumi did to Oikawa, and things would be fine. His hand tightened on his mug, the thought fading in seconds and was replaced with a blank, cool indifference. “I’m not going to ask him.”

Oikawa’s eyes twitched, his grin not fading completely, only tightening. “We made a deal. You don’t have much of a choice. I’m not beyond dragging your ass to his front door right now.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Akaashi mumbled. He tapped the side of his tea, not too interested in coughing it up again. The shop bell rang behind him, and a gaggle of giggling girls stormed in. The noise was comforting. “I decided to do things the way I want to do them from now on.”

Oikawa leaned back in his seat, eyebrow quirked upward. His fingers drummed the edge of the tabele. “And that has what to do with your feelings for Bokuto?”

Akaashi shrugged, but he didn’t feel as nonchalant about it as he appeared. His brows furrowed as he tried to communicate his stance. “From the start of my discovery, I’ve been behaving like a selfish idiot. I’ve been seeking out answers from the chat and doing everything I could to make Bokuto notice me and in the end… I didn’t end up too happy. Bokuto sure didn’t either. I miss the way we were before I found out.”

Oikawa shook his head as he relaxed against the cushion of his booth. “Ah, so you are ignoring your feelings? Hoping they’ll die? I can tell you right now that’ll only make things worse. Trust me, I tried that with my Iwa-chan.”

“That’s not the case at all,” Akaashi replied firmly, “I know I like him, but we are both happier this way.”

“Earth to Aka-baka, that’s ignoring your feelings.” Oikawa jabbed a finger in his direction. “You are still being selfish!”

“For looking out for my friend?” Akaashi drawled, picking up his spoon. He plopped it back into his tea and began to stir it. His fingers twitched. He scowled at the nervous tick and pulled away from the spoon to grab at his sleeves under the table in a pathetic attempt to school his hands to remain still. 

“You can’t ignore the wrongs you’ve admittedly done, that’s not fair to Bokuto either.” Oikawa pushed his drink to the side to lean his elbows on the table. Akaashi’s eyes drifted to the glasses hooked on Oikawa’s shirt collar. “We came to the conclusion that you two need to talk and be clear about what’s going on and your intentions. If you just hold back information like this, it’s like you are lying to him. And trust me, from what I’ve heard, he’s not stupid enough to not realize what you are doing. He may not know it’s about your feelings, but he knows things aren’t right still.”

“He’s not stupid at all,” Akaashi’s hands tightened into fists, eyebrows drawing tight. Oikawa frowned, but held up his hands in surrender with a roll of his eyes.

“You are right. You’re the stupid one, especially if you think you can change the subject like that.” Oikawa rolled his eyes. He crossed his arms over his chest. “Do I need to call back the entourage and get your head out of your ass again?”

Akaashi raised his cup and took a long drink. He glanced to the side and spotted two of the girls near the counter. They looked familiar, but he couldn’t recall where he’d last seen them. He pushed down the thought. “I can handle this on my own. I’ll tell him, but I just need to…”

He bit his inner cheek as he tried to put together the right words. “I need a bit longer to figure out how. I don’t want it to end up like last time, so I’d appreciate your patience.”

Oikawa seemed to think that over before he begrudgingly took his drink and began to slurp it down noisily. He gave Akaashi a staredown, but as usual, Akaashi won out in the end. Oikawa still looked displeased as he blinked a few times to ease his dry eyes, but he didn’t say anything else. Akaashi sent him a grateful smile. 

He’d tell Bokuto eventually. Sometime in the future. Preferably a few years from now, he mused, when they are much older and can laugh about it over drinks, and then Bokuto can wake up the next morning without remembering anything. 

Akaashi entered the gym the following day and a tired sigh left him the moment he saw his team. Konoha was laying flat on the floor, rubbing his hands along the new polish that was spread over it the day before. Bokuto and Washio joined him on the ground, petting it like it was a dog. Standing between Konoha and Bokuto was Komi, who held a broom threateningly above them with a scowl. “I swear to god if you dirty the floor, I will shove this right up y-”

“Good morning, Komi,” Akaashi greeted louder than usual as he shut the gym door behind himself. He set his water bottle on the ground and made his way over to them, all the while unzipping his winter coat. Komi walked over to the bleachers and leaned the broom against them. 

“Thank god,” Komi wheezed, “Akaashi, man, we found Bokuto just laying here twenty minutes ago and now I can’t get anyone to stop stroking the floor.”

Akaashi quirked an eyebrow toward the captain, who gazed up at him with wide eyes, cheek squished against the floor. “Bokuto-san, how long have you been here?”

“What time is it?”

“6:45.”

“About thirty some minutes.” When Akaashi’s stare turned cold, Bokuto slowly moved to plant his face firmly to the wood, gazing down at the wood grain. Akaashi huffed and pinched the bridge of his nose as he stepped over Washio. Without warning, he swiftly kicked Bokuto’s side. Even though he held back from actually causing any bruising, Bokuto still yelped and rolled onto his back, clutching his side. “Kaashi!”

“Bokuto-san, you should be leading practice,” Akaashi explained, eyes flickering to burn holes into the backs of Washio’s and Konoha’s heads. Though they were staring at the floor, they tensed under the sudden tension they felt and sat up. He faced Bokuto again, sighing at the pout on Bokuto’s face. 

He squatted down beside him, unimpressed. He surveyed his captain’s body, positioned like a corpse in a casket. Bokuto refused to meet his gaze, his expression of betrayal prominent on his quivering lips and puffed cheeks. Akaashi couldn’t bring himself to be concerned. He occasionally had to get Bokuto moving in the mornings after he was the one who texted Akaashi to come early. He didn’t tolerate being met with laziness when he could have been sleeping longer. 

Little kicks and shoves in the right direction were common between them, but usually Bokuto just laughed off his attacks with, “Is that all you got? I’m indestructible!”

Akaashi allowed him to believe that, not having the heart to kick him with the strength he acquired from two years of soccer and four years of aikido as a child. Instead, if he really needed Bokuto’s attention, he learned that tugging on his ear worked like a charm. That, or bending Bokuto’s arm back far enough to make his eyes widen before letting go of him entirely. However, that usually followed a long series of questions about his ‘secret ninja identity’ and a day's worth of begging to be taught how to spar. He tended to use the arm trick as a last resort. 

Akaashi raked his gaze over Bokuto’s huffing and his pink tinted ears from the little oxygen he was allowing in. He reached out to shake Bokuto’s shoulder, but paused as he heard a quiet rumble. Bokuto’s ears turned red. 

Satisfaction creeped into Akaashi’s system as he pulled his hand back. He rested his elbow on his knee, using his hand to lean his chin on as he stared fondly down at his pouty friend. “My mom packed me an extra onigiri today.”

Bokuto eyes widened. “Wait, really? Homemade? What flavor?”

“Yes, she made them this morning. It’d be your choice between pickled plum, salmon flakes, or tuna mayo.” Akaashi stood up, knees cracking as he did. “You can have the extra one, but only if you make the most of the time we have left in the gym.”

Bokuto leaped to his feet in one fluid movement, hands not touching the ground as he magically appeared on his feet. Konoha and Washio reluctantly stood as well, getting ready for practice to start. “Mmm, well, your least favorite is salmon, right? I’ll take that one!”

“Excellent choice,” Akaashi hummed before wandering off toward the club room nearby to chance into his uniform. He took a moment to separate the onigiri and placed Bokuto’s on the far side of his bento so he could remember to give it to him later. 

When he jogged out, everyone was stretching in a circle, chatting about whatever came to their minds. Akaashi took his usual spot right between Bokuto and Washio. He rushed through the basic stretches he missed, then followed Bokuto’s lead throughout hand warm ups. It wasn’t the usual work they did in the mornings which he was a little happy for. Usually he’d work up a sweat during practice, then head to class feeling stuffy and gross in his uniform. 

The warning bell rang after a while. Akaashi was hardly focusing on the time as he stayed down, touching his toes for a few seconds longer before rolling his spine as he stood up, a content sigh leaving his lips. He turned to Bokuto, who stopped his attempts to graze his shoes with his fingers, missing by several inches. 

“Alright!” Bokuto clapped his hands. “That’s all for now! Coach also wanted me to say that we are planning a training camp for early spring, so we will have to bring home forms for our parents soon!”

“Yeah,” Konoha snorted as he snatched his water bottle off the ground, “we know. He sent an email out like two weeks ago because you kept forgetting to mention it to us.”

Bokuto pouted. “Memory isn’t my strong suit! I’ve had other things on my mind.”

Akaashi felt Konoha’s eyes lock on him, but he turned the other way, inspecting the gym door. He hoped he wasn’t going to be cornered anytime soon and have to explain himself like he did for Oikawa. Though it maybe didn’t seem like it for some people, especially those who weren’t Akaashi and Bokuto, everything was actually fine. So far, so good. Bokuto was acting like his old self today, and Akaashi did the exact same. It was like the past month or so of stress was forgotten, gone without a trace and only remained in the form of a memory. 

If Konoha and Oikawa couldn’t see it that way, that was their issue. Akaashi knew it was better to stay like this. Again, he’d need to develop a few-year-plan before he made another risky move like that. 

Shaking his head, Akaashi headed to the locker room with the others. He changed quickly, stuffing his jersey away. His team was still talking away, never running out of things to discuss. Akaashi headed over to Bokuto, plucking his tie out of his school bag as he drowned out the current debate about if aliens ever made contact with Earth before. He waited patiently until Bokuto was finished buttoning up his shirt before draping the tie around his shoulders. 

Bokuto stood still while Akaashi tied it. He adjusted the sides before making the knot, moving quickly as he did. Once it was perfectly down, tight against his collar, Akaashi lowered one strand. “All better?”

“It’s seriously so cool you know how to tie these things,” Bokuto gushed, staring down at the knot with awe, as if it was the first time Akaashi tied it and not the millionth. Akaashi preened himself on his achievement of impressing Bokuto, finding it made his heart flutter. He smiled a little as he stepped away and grabbed the strap of his bag. “You need to show me how to do it.”

Akaashi paused, then hoisted the bag up and onto his shoulder. “That’s not necessary, Bokuto-san. I don’t mind tying it.”

Bokuto grabbed his bag as well, adjusting the strap to lay on his forehead. Akaashi always wondered if that was just to purposely look silly and gain attention from his peers as a clown, or if Bokuto genuinely thought that was a comfortable place to rest his bag. “You won’t be here forever though. I need to figure it out too, sooner or later.”

Akaashi’s eyebrows furrowed together, but then realization dawned on him. That was right. Leave it to Bokuto to see something Akaashi overlooked, as always. Bokuto was going to be heading to college soon, and then would be an adult and living an adult life, likely remaining in the city somewhere. Akaashi frowned at the ground. No, he didn’t overlook that. He was well aware that Bokuto was leaving Fukurodani when the year was over, and he knew Bokuto was going to be a major volleyball star when he grew up. He just didn’t really think about where he’d fit in with that picture. He always assumed he’d be next to him. He already fully-heartedly accepted he’d be tying Bokuto’s ties and giving him his extra onigiri every day, even if he didn’t intend on sticking with volleyball after highschool. 

And hearing Bokuto say the opposite was… unsettling.

“Never thought I’d hear that from either one of you!” Akaashi tensed as he heard Komi’s barked laughter. He glanced in his general direction, not meeting his eyes as he waited for him to continue. “What is this, opposite day? Am I on one of those prank television shows?”

“What kind of prank would this be?” Bokuto asked in confusion, head tilting to the side like a puppy trying to keep up with new commands. 

“I mean, you two are practically joined at the hip,” Komi explained, laughter dying when he realized no one else was finding the situation as humorous, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you two apart for more than an hour. For a brief time, I thought you two would stay the whole night practicing volleyball together because I’d be the last to leave aside from you and the first to arrive in the morning and you’d be in the same positions you were before.”

“It’s a little weird thinking that it’s only ‘til the end of this year for us,” Konoha shrugged, though his expression was faltering into something less nonchalant. He threw his blazer on, smoothing out the wrinkles that formed the moment he crumpled it into a ball and threw it in his bag before practice. “I don’t think it’ll ever end for you two though. Volleyball freaks.”

Akaashi would have rolled his eyes at the nickname or maybe laughed and agreed readily, but he just stared at Bokuto, who stood stock still throughout his teammates confessions without so much as blinking. Slowly, Bokuto craned his neck down and met his eyes. 

Sarukui joined in, only now getting changed out of his gym wear. “You first years are going to have to keep a close eye on Akaashi, or else Bokuto will stuff him in a duffel bag to bring to college with him.”

Onaga, one of said first years, looked up with a furrow in his brow. He glanced at Akaashi and then to Sarukui before piping in. Bokuto jumped at the sound of his voice, and Akaashi was also taken back to hear him speak since he was usually quiet. “I was under the impression Akaashi took advanced placement so he could graduate with Bokuto. That’s why he always is able to help you guys with your homework.”

Akaashi mentally scolded himself for not thinking of that idea when he first met Bokuto, but then shook the idea out of his head. That was ridiculous.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if Bokuto was intentionally acting stupid with his classes to stay a year behind, or if Akaashi was taking advanced courses to go with him,” Konoha joked, “and I would be even less surprised if they didn’t tell each other.” 

Akaashi glanced warily up and found Bokuto’s attention had already turned back to him. He pursed his lips and shuffled on his feet. He could hear idle chatting in his ear, but was more focused on that stinging in his chest returning. Was there really no way out of this pain? If this feeling has been around since the beginning of time, shouldn’t there be some kind of cure at this point? Or was Akaashi the first to feel it this badly? 

He watched his fiddling fingers as they tugged at the ends of his blazer. 

“Mm, most of the time I feel like they just are on the same page. Even on the court it’s almost terrifying how they seem to just know things and what the other is doing. It’s like they are completely in sync.” Komi sighed, tilting his head back. 

“Not,” Konoha interrupted, eying the two once more, “all the time.”

“You’re right,” Onaga hummed, “after all, we still have team huddles.” 

“Sure,” Washio agreed, though Akaashi could feel his clipped tone and could easily guess that he wasn’t actually agreeing to Onaga’s response.

“I just try to accommodate and set to Bokuto whenever it’s best,” Akaashi mumbled, gaze raking over his seniors, “any setter worth their salt would do that. There’s nothing more to it.”

Bokuto’s strap slowly fell to his neck, where he adjusted it to properly sit on his shoulder. He breathed out a long breath, a cross between a sigh and a huff before he turned on his heel and walked toward the club room door. Akaashi snapped out of his daze to watch Bokuto wrap his hand around the handle. 

“And any good spiker would watch and be ready for their setter,” Bokuto called back, swinging the door open, “that’s all it is.”

Akaashi stepped over a bag on the ground, heading toward the door. He paused for a moment, remembering something suddenly, then continued toward Bokuto, hand rooting through his bag, “Wait, Bokuto-san, your onigiri-”

Akaashi managed to get his bento and pluck the salmon flaked one out with a napkin. He snaked his hand back out, turning his attention back to the door as it suddenly swung close. He stuttered in his steps, the toe of his shoe grazing the door as he stared at it with wide eyes. Slowly, he looked to each side, noting that Bokuto hadn’t stayed behind. He slowly lowered his hand, the onigiri almost slipping through his fingers and onto the floor. 

“Bok…?” He whispered, staring at the door. It didn’t budge, and he didn’t move to open it. 

“Really, Kaashi?” A shiver ran up his spine as he realized the room behind him was still filled with his dressing teammates. “That was a little cold.”

Akaashi turned around, staring at his teammates with the same wide eyed shock he had when the door shut in his face. His throat was tight and dry. Slowly, he pushed the onigiri back into his school bag. “I… don’t follow.”

Washio narrowed his eyes on Akaashi, who balled up his napkin and put it in his pocket to throw away later. Eventually, his hard stare relaxed to match his expressionless mug. “Akaashi?”

Akaashi hummed, wiping his fingers against his pants. His nose wrinkled upon realizing what he was doing, soiling his pants with little flakes of rice. 

“You do realize what you said right now, right?” Washio asked slowly, buttoning his shirt. Akaashi frowned, raising an eyebrow at him. “You, in a way, just said that everything you do with or for him is because you are supposed to.”

“Or at least, that’s definitely how Bokuto took it, exhibit A,” Konoha grunted as he gestured to the door. Akaashi didn’t turn to look at it as he brought his hands together. “You are going to talk to him, right? ‘Cause not gonna lie, we all were trying to help you just then. I thought you both had a little moment there until you straight-i-fied the situation.”

“Straightified?” Akaashi wasn’t certain if he wanted to stick around to hear the explanation of the word.

“Like, you made it straight,” Komi responded, “you said ‘no homo’ without saying those exact words.”

Akaashi furrowed his brow, a frown on his lips. “... I don’t follow, and that’s not what I said anyways. That’s just what a setter does. Am I wrong?”

Konoha sent him a look, nose scrunched uncomfortably as he sighed, “You aren’t wrong, but you aren’t just… Okay, take it this way. You set for me sometimes, yeah? What do you call me when talking about me?”

Beyond confused where this was heading, Akaashi muttered, “... Konoha-san?”

“Yeah, good. Okay, you set for Bokuto, what do you call him when you are talking to us?” 

“Bokuto-san.”

Komi made a loud buzzer noise with his mouth, lifting his arms to form a big ‘X’. “Incorrect! It’s usually something along the lines of ‘a great shining star’, ‘the star of the court’, or some weird book reference you make.”

Akaashi looked to the ground, trying to recall instances he said that. Admittedly he remembered far too many times, each riddled with sincerity as his teammates or opponents gave him weird looks as he admired his captain out loud. He never did that to anyone else, but that was purely based on the fact that they didn’t catch his eye like Bokuto. They didn’t contain the same excitement and skill and determination. They all fell short of everything good Bokuto possessed.

“Do you see what we mean?” Washio asked quietly. “What’s said in private, remains private. He thinks he’s just like Konoha.”

“Hey! I’m great!” Konoha huffed before facing Akaashi, waving a hand. Akaashi schooled his expression into one of sheer disinterest as Konoha exclaimed, “Not that I’d want you liking me though. I have no idea what you two are talking about half the time and I also like girls, so-”

Komi hit Konoha on the head with a roll of his eyes, then pushed past him to stand before Akaashi, who stumbled a step back in response. “What we mean is that you two need to talk. Like, seriously. Please.”

Akaashi’s shoulders curled forward as he avoided Komi’s gaze. “I… can try to explain to him that I didn’t intend for that to be misconstrued-”

“No, we mean everything.” Well, Akaashi thought, mentally apologizing to his mother, fuck. He could perfectly envision Oikawa’s grin in his head and him singing the words ‘I told you to’ in a mantra. His fists clenched, eyes squeezing tight.

He really thought he had it solved. Well, not really. He was prepared to spend the rest of the year giving his 100% and more to Bokuto, both on the court and as a friend. If he wanted to pursue his feelings after highschool, when they would both be too busy to be able to keep in touch most likely, then he could. It wasn’t feasible though, but it reassured him enough that he was making a good choice by holding off on Bokuto. 

And it was still a good choice. 

Akaashi breathed out, tension leaving his hands. It… This wasn’t the best situation, but he could apologize to Bokuto for unintentionally hurting his feelings. Bokuto got over things quickly. After it is explained, he would forget about this in moments as well. That’s what would happen, and it will start with Akaashi delivering the onigiri in his bag. 

He curled his hand around his bag strap, then gave Komi a calm smile, praying the discomfort from the weird swirling in his chest wasn’t evident in his expression. The others remained quiet as he sent them a small wave and headed to the door “Don’t worry. Things will be fine.”

Part of him wished Bokuto would be on the other side, waiting to laugh at him. It’d make everything much easier. When he opened the door, he was met with an empty hallway.

Once lunch break began, Akaashi pulled out his bento and headed straight for Bokuto’s classroom. When he arrived, students were just beginning to head out to enjoy their lunches elsewhere. He peered into the classroom, scanning the room for Bokuto’s hair. Upon seeing nothing, he pulled away from the door frame, cutting in front of a girl who was heading out. She glanced up at him, and he was surprised to see it was Yukie, their other manager. 

“Akaashi?”

“Yukie,” Akaashi greeted in return, “I didn’t know you were in Bokuto’s class.”

“I’m not,” She laughed casually, holding up a green spiral notebook, “but I was looking for my notes he borrowed a week ago. They were in his bag.”

Akaashi glanced behind her and to a desk in the far corner of the room. Trash and other school supplies were spilled all over the surface of a desk, and his bag laid in an empty heap on the floor. He made a mental note to remind Bokuto to return notes he borrows next time he sees him. “He’s gone?”

Yukie nodded, tucking the notebook under her arm. “Yeah, I got here like three minutes ago and he already disappeared. He probably knew I was hunting him down and didn’t want to face me.”

“That… is a likely scenario,” Akaashi agreed. After a moment of silence, Akaashi gave her a little nod and excused himself. He walked down the hall, searching for some place to hunker down and eat. He ended up traveling through all the hallways on all the different floors, walking past the gyms and music practice rooms as he searched for a good place to sit. After going outside and nearly getting locked out, he decided to just sit on the floor near a back entrance. He slipped the plum onigiri out and bit into it with a small huff. Once he was finished with his meal, he took a long walk back to class, fingers tugging at loose threads on the cuffs of his shirt. 

Akaashi brought his almost empty bento to practice after school, the only thing inside being his salmon onigiri still reserved for Bokuto. He changed in the locker room, noting Bokuto’s bag was already in the room. No one else’s was. 

He changed as quickly as he could and took his box out to the gym. He kept a tight grip on it as he pushed the door open with his arm. As it swung open, he called out, “Bokuto-san?”

The gym was empty. There weren’t any nets laying on the ground waiting to be set up, and there weren't any volleyball carts on the sidelines. He glanced to the storage door, noting that it was closed, likely locked. Bokuto always kept a door stopper in because he was worried about getting locked inside on accident and starving to death. Akaashi had demonstrated multiple times that he couldn’t get locked in. During one of the times, about a month or two ago, he dragged Bokuto inside with him while the others were still in the clubroom. He tried to show Bokuto in the dark, the light underneath the door being the only source, that there was a twist lock on the inside to avoid people getting locked in. 

However, the moment Akaashi shut the door, Bokuto was tense, eyes darting all around the room. He didn’t start hyperventilating, which Akaashi was thankful for as he stepped closer to the captain. 

“Bokuto-san, can I have your hand?”

“M-My hand?” Bokuto repeated, chattering laughter spilling from his chest. Akaashi raised an eyebrow, holding out his hand as a silent invitation. Slowly, Bokuto raised his hand, his fingers slowly easing down to rest in the offered palm. His fingertips trembled momentarily as they curled around Akaashi’s fingers. Akaashi glanced up at Bokuto, who was looking toward the stowed away basketball in the corner. 

Rolling his eyes, Akaashi’s hand tightened around Bokuto’s and he yanked him closer. Bokuto squeaked as he stumbled a step further into Akaashi’s personal space. Akaashi sent him a look, then forced his hand forward and into the door handle. “Bokuto-san, do you feel the lock turn?”

“Uh,” Bokuto muttered intelligently. Akaashi unraveled their hands, firmly pressing Bokuto’s palm into the door handle. “... Yes?”

“The door locks automatically, so, if you ever don’t want to be in here, just turn this latch and you can get out.” Akaashi dropped his hand. “We are locked in right now. Get us out.”

Bokuto slowly lumbered over and unlocked the latch. He pushed open the door and the closet was filled with the blinding light of the gym. Akaashi smiled to himself, but the joy he felt in helping Bokuto conquer his fear faded slowly during the entire week whenever he’d spy Bokuto staring toward the closet with a strange look on his face. He accepted that some fears would always remain irrational. 

Reluctantly, Akaashi shifted his bento box into one hand and pushed open the storage room door. “Bokuto-san?”

He checked the room, but saw he was the only one there. He pushed the ball cart out since he was there anyways, his bento on top of the balls. Once it was out, he spotted Bokuto, Komi and Onaga walking into the gym.

“Oh damn, Akaashi, you are already here?” Komi gasped. “How fast are you? I thought I was the first one in the locker room after Bokuto.”

He must have rushed out too quickly and missed Bokuto as he was strolling over. Sighing to himself, Akaashi left the cart on the sidelines. Komi and Onaga went to get the nets up together, leaving him an opening to hand off his promised onigiri. 

“Bokuto-san, you forgot your onigiri earlier.” He snatched the bento again, but when he turned to face Bokuto, he didn’t see him. 

He blinked, hands tightening on the box in slight surprise. The gym door was still, so he didn’t leave, but the entire court in front of him was empty. Cautiously, he looked up and down, making sure Bokuto wasn’t army-crawling around or had climbed up the wall somehow in the second he took his eyes off him. 

“Hey, hey, hey! Look! This one has a smiley face on it!” Akaashi jolted as he turned to the storage room to spot Bokuto holding a basketball in his hands, one foot stopping the door from closing on the others. He frowned as the two made their way out and Bokuto haphazardly threw the ball somewhere in the closet. 

During stretches, Bokuto ran around the gym, weaving between people and never once stopping at a location for more than five minutes, usually dashing off when Akaashi began to approach him. 

He tried to wave Bokuto over, but Bokuto didn’t look his way. They both stretched alone while surrounded by pairs of their teammates. During laps, Bokuto, as always, led the pack, but this time used up most of his energy to keep a wide gap between him and Akaashi, and soon enough, Akaashi was running past him with a frown on his lips. 

Practice was awful because it almost was like normal. Akaashi set for Bokuto, Bokuto hit it with a squeal of excitement. His heart fluttered with a surge of hope that whatever oddness Bokuto contained slowly draining out, but when he swirled a volleyball in his hands at the end of practice with a questioning look, Bokuto ignored him and started carting the balls off. 

“Bokuto-san, a few more spikes?” Akaashi asked after he cleared his throat. His lungs felt tight when he spotted some of his teammates looking over with unreadable looks. 

He didn’t get a response, and someone took the ball from him after a minute of him waiting for something, anything, any form of recognition. His face burned with embarrassment. 

Eventually, someone patted his shoulder. Akaashi didn’t bother to look at them as they mumbled, “Do… you want us to take down the net?”

Akaashi glanced down at his balled fists, then to Bokuto who was struggling to get the door to open wide enough to push it in. He managed to get the corners through, the door clanking loudly on the side of the cart as it tried to close. Bokuto continued to push it through with difficulty. 

“Do what you want,” Akaashi grumbled, attention elsewhere as he dropped the ball and stormed toward Bokuto and the ball cart. He braced his arms against the cart, his hand brushing one of Bokuto’s as he gave a firm, rough push and forced it through. Bokuto stumbled after it with a squeak. Akaashi heard a clash as it bashed into a shelf inside, but ignored it over the sound of his gasping peers several meters away. 

He turned toward them, his glare venomous and challenging as he walked backward into the closet and closed the door. He clicked the hand lock, hand settling over it as if they were going to use the key to free them. Akaashi couldn’t imagine that any of them were willing to dig through Bokuto’s messy bag or find the coach in order to get a key, especially after the look he gave them. 

The closet was silent besides a small creak as the cart rolled back an inch, then settled. Akaashi expected to hear Bokuto yelping in surprise at the sudden darkness or at least him moving around, but there was nothing. He blinked, eyes adjusting to the darkness until he could see clear outlines of Bokuto and the shelves, each exactly where he saw them last. 

“We need to talk.” Akaashi cleared his throat. “Right now.”

Bokuto remained quiet for a moment. “... Are we locked in?”

“The lock turn, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi reminded him, pressing his back against the door. “Don’t worry, we aren’t stuck.”

Bokuto didn’t acknowledge his remark, not even with a little nod. Akaashi hoped he was loud enough to be heard. He felt his throat was closing up as he dropped his gaze to the floor. “I want to apologize.”

“For?” Bokuto muttered. Akaashi felt a surge of relief, knowing that there was something bugging Bokuto and he was seeking an apology. Akaashi was happy to deliver.

“I’m sorry for hurting your feelings before.” 

He should expand, but he was also well aware of the fact he might not be able to get anymore out before Bokuto was back to hugging and bouncing around him like usual. He smiled at the thought, but it faded when he wasn’t suddenly squeezed between two large arms in a tight bear hug. 

“That’s it?” Akaashi blinked, glancing up to see Bokuto had moved. He was standing three or so feet away, much more visible than before, but it was still too blurry to make out his expression. Akaashi took a step forward to get a better view, but Bokuto’s hand jolted up in between him, keeping him from stepping any further. It trembled before his eyes. Bokuto’s voice cut through the air like an icicle falling off the shingles of the school building. “That’s really it?”

“No,” Akaashi stated as his hands fumbled at his side, “no, there’s more, I just-”

“You locked the door.” His words fell flat when compared to their usual excitement and sing-song-ish tone of happiness and anticipation. “So I’ll be the one who unlocks it. Got it?” 

Akaashi closed his mouth and nodded once. 

Bokuto dropped his hand back to his side. He glared at the ground, then used the back of his hand to wipe under his nose. “Okay. Alright. I know I’m stupid and sometimes I completely miss the memo and can’t figure out what’s being said unless it is directly said out loud. Cues and shit fly over my head, so I don’t know what you want from me. I don’t care if this is awkward or a bad idea, I want to talk this through right now and move on from there.”

Akaashi breathed out a shaky breath, but nodded in agreement with no hesitation. The waiting was killer, and he knew what he wanted when he pushed them into the storage room. “Alright, we can do that.”

“Cool.” Bokuto shifted his weight on his feet. He finally made eye contact once more, his gold eyes seeming to glow in the darkness. It almost made Akaashi forget the invisible barrier Bokuto set earlier. “So I’m going to be honest and get to the point. You too.”

Akaashi agreed, and the moment he did, Bokuto reached forward and took one of his hands, clasping it between his. His thumb ran over a vein on Akaashi’s hand, then followed the groove of one of the bones hiding just under his skin. 

“I think I’ve loved you since we met.” 

Akaashi choked on air. His hand jerked back toward himself, but Bokuto’s grip tightened and held it still in front of them. His cheeks warmed as his eyes darted between Bokuto’s gaze, their hands, and anywhere else that wasn’t as intense. Bokuto took a step closer. “Please don’t do that again.”

“Do what, Bokuto-san?” Akaashi mumbled, rearing his head back to keep the distance. 

“Whenever I try to do this I feel like you either are not listening or you are ignoring me,” Bokuto laughed. It wasn’t the same jovial laugh that filled their practices. “Or flat out running away from me! And I keep trying again and again to tell you, but I don’t know if you are just trying to let me down easy or silently asking me to stop.”

The storage room was large, but at that moment it felt like they were trapped in more of a closet. His heart was beating faster than a jackhammer, and it didn’t slow for a second as Bokuto laced their fingers together. Bokuto grinned down at him, the stretch of his lips curving taunt and stiff against his cheeks as if wires were pulling it around. It wasn’t a natural smile, but he still did it. Akaashi wondered if it was meant to comfort him or convince him of something. “I don’t care if you don’t feel the same, I just want you to tell me so I know to stop pushing. I know if I keep doing that, you’ll just end up further away, and I want my friend back at the very least.”

Akaashi tried to steady his breathing. His eyes felt moist. He wanted nothing more than to peel his hand away from Bokuto’s in order to pinch him own skin harshly between his nails. Oikawa, Konoha, Suga, Kenma… All of them have been constantly chattering in his ears, bouncing around in his skull along with his own self doubt, and here Bokuto was, saying everything they had been all along. 

“I’m really bad with words,” Bokuto began as he clutched tighter to Akaashi. Nervous laughter poured out of his throat as his eyes darted around, not staying on Akaashi’s too long before breaking away each time, “and Kuroo and Kenma said I kept messing up and that you didn’t understand I was asking you on dates, but whatever I tried to do didn’t work. I wanted to just end all this damn confusion at the vending machine, but… I guess I never considered if I was just plain making you uncomfortable with constantly asking.”

Bokuto scratched the back of his neck, lip caught between his teeth as he considered where he was heading. Eventually, his hand fell back to his side and he continued. “Now, if there’s anything I want, it’s for you to not hate me for all this. I want my Akaashi back. I don’t care if we forget all about this and pretend it never happened. I rather have that then to… not have you here anymore?”

Bokuto licked his lips and tilted his head to Akaashi, urging him forward as he announced, “So now it’s your time to say what you want. My cards are on the table. When yours are, I’ll do my best to follow them, and I will unlock the door.”

Akaashi almost scoffed at the statement. He acted as if Akaashi couldn’t turn and open the door himself with ease. Maybe he could feel through Akaashi’s clammy hands that his feet were rooted to the ground. He couldn’t contort his expression into anything but a wide, watery eyes and a quivering lip. If he could replace his name with Bokuto’s, it was a lot of the same way he felt. He wanted his Bokuto back, as stupid as it sounded. He wanted to come clean of everything and just have it all laid bare to judge and hate or accept or love. Still, his heart twinged with hurt at the thought of his note.

“Bokuto-san.” Bokuto leaned forward on his toes, his expression a mix between anticipation and a hint of dread. “What did you think my note was for? After the practice game, outside, remember?”

Bokuto shrugged with a grim look, casting his gaze to the exposed vents along the ceiling of the dark room. Akaashi followed his eyes briefly. “Ah. Well, if I’m right, that was your way of testing me, right?”

“Testing?” Akaashi furrowed his brow. He gulped down the lump in his throat as Bokuto bobbed his head absently. 

“Yeah. You wanted to make sure I’d say no and that I got it through my thick skull that we weren’t… we aren’t anything.” Bokuto slowly dropped Akaashi’s hand, chuckling to himself. Akaashi’s hand felt like needles were piercing through the exposed skin, driving further down with his words and laughter. The hollow feeling in his chest was creeping back and he began to wonder if that feeling ever faded or if it was a part of him, the same part of him that made Bokuto think his note was a joke. “When I say it like that, it kind of makes this whole meeting seem pointless. I guess I just need to hear you say that out loud, Akaashi.”

Akaashi frowned, reaching to snag his hand back, but missed when Bokuto took a step back. His shoulders curved inward as he placed his hands in front of him, head bowed and craned to the side for the blow to the heart he was intending to receive. “Don’t hold back because it’s me, okay? I can take it.”

A love note turned into a test to see if Bokuto really knew what Akaashi wanted. What did Bokuto expect to happen if he didn’t say no like he did? Akaashi gave him the note with the intention of throwing his friend into a hug if he checked Yes, squishing their cheeks together as their laughs filled the courtyard. Bokuto must have expected a rejection worse than all the other unintentional ones, maybe even Akaashi beginning to blatantly ignore him for not getting the hint. 

It was such a cruel way to hurt someone's feelings by using a love note to set them up. Akaashi had to assume Bokuto experienced as much if not more of the hurt he felt if his view of the scenario was so twisted. 

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Akaashi mumbled under his breath. He clutched his now free hand to his chest as he tried to calm his breathing. He averted his eyes to the floor and their scuffed up volleyball shoes. “If we are being honest, I never meant to reject you.”

Bokuto wheezed out a long breath, slumping in his spot. He raised his head after a moment, eyes beckoning for Akaashi to continue. Akaashi placed a hand on his shoulder for a second, then shied away from the contact, clutching his hand to his chest as he murmured, “I didn’t know you were doing it, and when I finally did, I just kept messing up and making things worse. I hurt your feelings over and over, and the stupid groupchat was telling me, but I couldn’t stop it.”

Stop talking, Akaashi urged himself. “It’s okay if you don’t want to deal with me just… screwing things up and worrying over nothing and… I care a lot about you too, but I completely understand if you don’t want this.”

He wasn’t getting where he wanted. His lips were moving too fast and it wasn’t getting his message across. Akaashi grunted, squeezing his eyes tight as he tried to pull himself together, but it just all kept spewing out. “I respect your decision if you decide against trying this out. I’m not making any of this easy for you. Actually it’d be better for you to just avoid this mess more than-”

His hands were trembling. He clawed at the bottom of his shirt, tugging at the seams to busy himself as his mouth moved a mile a minute. 

“Akaashi,” Bokuto cut in, “please shut up.”

His mouth snapped shut, but not before he could taste salt creeping on the tip of his tongue. He bit his cheek as he lifted his sleeve to wipe under his eyes. His cheeks flared red with embarrassment at his display, utterly appalled at his own emotions coming through. Akaashi knew he had done enough to Bokuto, yet here he was making a scene. It was ridiculous. He rubbed harder under his eyes in an attempt to dry them out completely. It stung like scratches against his iris, but he didn’t stop until Bokuto spoke up again. 

“Do you love me?” Akaashi froze stiff. A hiccup choked out from his throat as he tugged his sleeve away from his face, breathing uneven as he considered his friend’s words. Bokuto laughed, voice strained. “U-Uh, wait I mean like… Like do you like me?”

“I, uh-” Akaashi stammered, throat tight. He tried to reign in his fast beating heart enough to do more than a pathetic nod of anxiety, but Bokuto quickly cut in.

“Do you want to go on a date with me?” Akaashi wanted to scoff at how certain and confident he sounded. It was just like he was asking for more sets on the court after practice, something Akaashi looked forward to with anticipation, never having much of the gall to ask for them himself. He never needed to anyways since Bokuto would always ask, just as he now is asking once again for Akaashi to respond. 

That was something Akaashi could manage without his own nerves killing him, or without his embarrassing desperate want breaking free to let in his doubts. “Yes. Please.”

“Alright, then that’s that.” Akaashi’s heart lurched at the phrase, mind racing a mile per minute. That’s that. It’s final. That’s it, the chat is done. Bokuto reached his verdict. It was over. His tone was stern, like an officer calling out a final decision before they would be shoved back into the gym as though nothing happened. Akaashi wasn’t ready to go back. His legs still felt like jelly, and his eyes would burn under the fluorescent lights and his teammates stares. Without warning, Bokuto clapped a hand on his shoulder. Akaashi stumbled forward a step in surprise, eyes widening as he caught himself. “We are skipping practice today.”

Akaashi glanced up between the fabric of his sleeve, a hiccup bubbling up once more. He furrowed his brow. A headache was beginning to form with the whiplash his head was dealing with. He wanted nothing more than to rest for a moment, but his upperclassmen didn’t notice since Bokuto didn’t meet his gaze; his eyes shut too tight from the massive smile invading his once stressed, worried expression. “We are a-already at practice. Besides, we’d get in trouble by coach.”

“We’re still leaving.” Bokuto nodded to himself, tapping his finger on his chin. Akaashi stepped around Bokuto in an attempt to travel further into the darkness, shaking his head. He wasn’t keen on leaving and being exposed to the team in his stressed state, let alone facing the coach as Bokuto confidently announced that they’d be ditching for the rest of the evening. 

“I know it’s your job to be the overthinker between us,” Bokuto hummed merrily. His eyes contained the same twinkle Akaashi always used to search for in them, “so let me do all the work right now. Just go with it. You do what I do and just roll with it.”

Akaashi sighed to himself, ready to point out that at least one of them had to be responsible, but was cut off as Bokuto approached him with long strides. He stumbled as Bokuto pulled him close, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. He blushed at the gesture, then squeaked as Bokuto roughly jostled him to force them both to face the locked door. Akaashi felt dwarfed under Bokuto’s heavy arm accompanied with the feeling of his shoulders slumping in exhaustion. 

“Now, let’s go get ice cream!” Bokuto cheered, pumping his fist into the air.

“Why?” Akaashi dared to mumble, unsure if he should be frantically trying to compose himself or just ducking his head to avoid the other’s seeing him. 

“Because I wanna go on a date with you and you wanna go on a date with me.” Bokuto glanced down at him and raised an eyebrow. Akaashi’s slightly blurred vision wasn’t enough to hide Bokuto’s own teary eyes right beside his gentle smile. Akaashi’s heart stung for a moment, thoughts creeping back into his head that he’d rather avoid. He didn’t want to be the cause of that kind of look from Bokuto. “Simple as that. And we both deserve a relaxing first date after all this, right?”

Before Akaashi could speak, Bokuto flicked his forehead. “And we aren’t going to dwell on any of this. It’s done.”

“.... I didn’t mean to make this a mess.” Akaashi was flicked again, this time on the tip of his nose. He frowned, twitching as Bokuto huffed a laugh out. He leaned against Akaashi, nuzzing his cheek against his ‘dates’ with a wide grin. He squeezed Akaashi’s shoulders tight for a moment and it filled Akaashi with a familiar warm that he couldn’t imagine wanting as badly as he did. He smiled to himself, resting back into Bokuto’s arm with a huff. 

“Shh.”

Akaashi batted Bokuto’s hand away, then used the back of his hand to soak up the tears drying on his cheeks. His cheeks burned as he rolled his eyes, shakily laughing out, “Bokuto, I’m serious. It’s-”

“Shhhhhh.” Akaashi scowled as Bokuto reached forward and pinched his cheek, pulling it out. 

“C’mon, Kaashi! Smile!” Bokuto cooed. Akaashi wondered briefly if it was all really worth it to have his cheeks tugged and to be baby-talked to like an idiot. In the end, he just smiled and slapped Bokuto’s hand back. Just as it was about to fall away, Akaashi caught it in his own. With as much strength as he could muster from just being a nervous wreck, he laced their fingers together. Before he could second guess himself, Bokuto clasped their hands together tighter. 

“Aw! You are secretly really affectionate, right?” Bokuto exclaimed, bouncing on his heels. “Are you like one of those cats that hate everyone, but slowly through many episodes of care and attention open up and allow only one person to pet you? Because that’s probably good, I’m really a hug kind of guy, but I also really like holding hands- Uh, at least I think I do!”  
Akaashi laughed at his energy as Bokuto stared at their hands, then shrugged to himself. “I don’t know, I don’t like… go around holding hands? That’d be weird.”

“That would be a little weird,” Akaashi answered as Bokuto unwinded their hands and his arm. He clicked the lock out of place, then grabbed Akaashi’s hand with a grin.

“But it does feel really nice to hold your hand!” Akaashi couldn’t agree more. Bokuto tugged him forward once, then guided them out of the dusty storage room and back into the gym.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me what you think! Thanks for checking it out.

**Author's Note:**

> Updates weekly!
> 
> Hey!! I really hope you enjoyed this chapter and the art, which was created by my amazing beta-reader, Konerrupine! Check out their instagram for more cute art!


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